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Thread: Gripe of the Day page 506

  1. #5051
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cori93437 View Post
    WTH... did he take up writing for Penthouse?
    dear penthouse,

    i never thought it could happen to me! recently i won the lottery AND met the love of my life, a luscious 20 year old. some people may think i'm too old for her, but she makes me feel 18 again when she [censored] [censored] censored] with her [censored] jiggling [censored] and when she [censored]s her [censored] well hoo boy! who needs viagra!
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  2. #5052
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chaohinon View Post

    blagh
    You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!

  3. #5053
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    GOTD: i saw that artichokes were on sale again today for $1 ea, so i picked up three. went through the self-checkout and the toddler started to go ballistic. meanwhile, the checkout gave me the pre-sale price. so the little checkout lady deleted it and entered it the same way i did; pre-sale price. then entered in the code; pre-sale price. then asked me "do you want me to send someone to check on the price for you?" meanwhile my kid is screaming at me and this is the tail-end of an artichoke sale; i had bought some the previous day for the sale price, which i told her, but she held firm. we ended up leaving the artichokes. toddler continued to scream on the way out. i cannot wait until he grows up a little. Grr...

  4. #5054
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    Quote Originally Posted by juanljal55 View Post
    Not me, who is in extreme pain every time we fuck. No no, not me, who has to go have a huge cyst scraped off her ovary. You. You're the one we should feel sorry for because you haven't gotten laid, and you've run out of porn
    I love it when the spammers find something really relevant to the current conversation to bot us with.

    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    dear penthouse,

    i never thought it could happen to me! recently i won the lottery AND met the love of my life, a luscious 20 year old. some people may think i'm too old for her, but she makes me feel 18 again when she [censored] [censored] censored] with her [censored] jiggling [censored] and when she [censored]s her [censored] well hoo boy! who needs viagra!
    And.... NOW I know who's been writing all of my favorite fap material.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  5. #5055
    Saoirse's Avatar
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    owie!! major sore throat!!

  6. #5056
    quelsen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
    GOTD: i saw that artichokes were on sale again today for $1 ea, so i picked up three. went through the self-checkout and the toddler started to go ballistic. meanwhile, the checkout gave me the pre-sale price. so the little checkout lady deleted it and entered it the same way i did; pre-sale price. then entered in the code; pre-sale price. then asked me "do you want me to send someone to check on the price for you?" meanwhile my kid is screaming at me and this is the tail-end of an artichoke sale; i had bought some the previous day for the sale price, which i told her, but she held firm. we ended up leaving the artichokes. toddler continued to scream on the way out. i cannot wait until he grows up a little. Grr...
    children are extremely sensitive and it is possible he was trying to alert you to bad artichokes :-)
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  7. #5057
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    GOTD: sunburn has begun to blister.. this will not end well.. ouch ouch

    GOTD2: sunburn home remedies are bunk.. or this is a mother of a sunburn.
    Karin


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  8. #5058
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    Quote Originally Posted by quelsen View Post
    children are extremely sensitive and it is possible he was trying to alert you to bad artichokes :-)
    there is no such thing.

  9. #5059
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    Quote Originally Posted by quelsen View Post
    children are extremely sensitive and it is possible he was trying to alert you to bad artichokes :-)
    I agree that children are extremely sensitive, I have three kids and they can sense mommy and daddy wanting some alone time from a mile away. You couldn't get them to take a nap with a tranquilizer gun...but...it would be worth a try...anyone know where to get a tranquilizer gun???
    If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

  10. #5060
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    nah, benadryl works just fine! (completely kidding!)

    it doesn't even occur to me to have sex during the day anymore.

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