Dear my neighbors,
I swear to God, if you don't shut that yappy little mongrel up, I'm going to butcher it and eat its heart and liver for breakfast. Also, repeatedly honking your horn at 7:15 in the morning is NOT an acceptable way to communicate with family members inside the house. And while I'm sure that you find it absolutely adorable when your kids run around outside screaming at the tops of their lungs, it makes me want to "forget" that Jonathan Swift was a satirist. Seriously, assholes, properties are small enough around here that I can lean out my window, throw a rock and hit your house, and I throw like a girl. Learn some basic fucking consideration for other people.
No love, much hate,