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Thread: <Insert Bacon Here> One fat (guy's) primal journal page 962

  1. #9611
    Pebbles67's Avatar
    Pebbles67 is online now Senior Member
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    Funny, I didn't see it as sad or insulting. I posted in the thread and was honest about the part of my body I dislike and why. Society has nothing to do with that dislike. It is just my reality.

    I also posted about the body parts I am in love with and that my overall view of my body has been changed positively by being Primal.

  2. #9612
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    I'm glad that wasn't your intention, YogaBare. It just seemed an unusual focus for a poll. Mind you, Paula says she had a healthy response to it, so maybe I'm just being overly sensitive to the concept. Too much Stuart Smalley in me, I guess

  3. #9613
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    <Insert Bacon Here> One fat (guy's) primal journal

    I don't understand why it is a big deal to talk about what we don't like about ourselves. We can't help our baseline level of intelligence, personality etc either and we are more allowed to talk about those and how we can improve... But not about our physical attributes? If we don't admit it and just shove it under the carpet we don't improve.

    If someone saw me in real life he/she would think I was pretty much the most confident person ever because I do not give a **** about what others think of what I am wearing, doing, etc. I am not hesitant at all to compliment other females... Do it in front of my guy companions very often as well. If no one dances on the dance floor I just need one friend to go burn up the dance floor with me and I will be there all night. Even if I suck at that type of dance I don't mind making a fool of myself. Whatever.

    At the end of the day do I have things I would like to see differently on myself? Hell yes. Not talking about it doesn't change the way I feel.... So why not accept how I feel and the fact that I have these insecurities instead of being all PC like "everyone is beautiful and a perfect 10 okay?" Having the "balls" to accept one's insecurities is confidence in my book.

    It's also okay to care about looks while caring about personality and IQ too.

    I am where I am now (NOT saying I am very high up... Just higher up than I was 10 years ago) because I am always looking to improve... In looks, smarts, personality. I didn't always know how exactly to cut my hair, wear the right type of clothes and makeup for my face/figure, etc. I had many fashion faux pas moments in hs when I was experimenting what works for me. I didn't always look somewhat fit... Every year I aim to look better due to busting my ass at the gym and in the kitchen. I taught myself how to walk gracefully in heels. I spent forever perfecting that cateye. I have a long ways to go and I see it as a fun process. It doesn't mean my inner skills are falling by the wayside... I care about those even more.

    I don't want to be someone else or look like someone else. I want to be me... Better, stronger, sexier, smarter, funnier. I don't see anything wrong with thinking that.
    Last edited by turquoisepassion; 12-17-2013 at 05:15 PM.
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    HCLF: lean red meat, eggs, low-fat dairy, bone broth/gelatin, fruits, seafood, liver, small amount of starch (oatmeal, white rice, potatoes, carrots), small amount of saturated fat (butter/ghee/coconut/dark chocolate/cheese).

    My Journal: gelatin experiments, vanity pictures, law school rants, recipe links


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  4. #9614
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    I'd say it depends on the context and my mental state as to how I'd rate myself. Physically, compared to the local yokels, I'm a solid 10. Take me to Dallas, and it drops a point or two, just because of the sheer quantity of people there who can pay to be beautiful and spend all their time doing it. Adding in mentally, I top out the scale here, and climb another notch or three in Dallas. Toss in my emotional issues and I drop like a rock.
    There are days I can't see how hot I am. All I can see is that this, this, and this need to change, and to hell with all the positives. On my darkest days, I'm lucky to hit 2/10 because my monsters in my head won't let me hit any higher up. Having those insecurities also brings me down in others' eyes. If I'm wearing a frown and bad posture, it looks much, much worse than a grin and standing upright. I may have the intelligence others would kill for, but you can't see that across the room when I'm trying to find a corner to hide in.
    For the most part, I'm happy with my body. There are my bad days, where I can't measure up to the impossible yardstick in my brain and it all goes to hell, yes. But even then, I can rationally see that I still beat out most of the competition by a mile, even if I can't get it to click emotionally.
    Honestly, the only opinions that really matter are my own and Geek's, and Geek's is the only one that counts on a bad day. Since he seems to think I'm the hottest thing since plasma, I think I'm doing pretty good.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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  5. #9615
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    Interesting thoughts all around. I get TQP's point about being able to talk about our faults. That said, for many it is easy to fall into poor self-esteem especially given the issues others have dealt with. That said, I do not think YB meant anything negative by it. I'm sure it was more in the TQP vein of things, however, different people react different ways. It's like we talked about the other day with the Choco thread, we have different triggers and react differently to different things. That is what makes life interesting and often painful. Though they say that sometimes pain is needed for growth. Of course, they say a lot of things and much of it is total bullshit.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  6. #9616
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    Hottest thing since plasma- that's awesome

    I did something clever when bagging up a man's purchases the other day and he said, "You're so smart!" I thanked him, and he said "You should say 'and pretty, too!' That's what my mother always said." He was, like, 75 and just being a flirty old man, so I smiled and sent him on his way. But it got me thinking. What if I don't want to be pretty? Why does pretty have to enter into it? Because I'm female? Men aren't expected to be pretty whether they're smart or not. They get to pick one or the other- or neither if they're rich. I mean- does it really, actually matter to the state of the country whether or not the First Lady has arms that are hot enough to wear a sleeveless shirt? Is that really something to talk about on the news? /rant

    See, now, Jon can't admit that he scores high on the smooth scale, because then he wouldn't score as high ;D
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

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  7. #9617
    canio6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by drssgchic View Post
    I did something clever when bagging up a man's purchases the other day and he said, "You're so smart!" I thanked him, and he said "You should say 'and pretty, too!' That's what my mother always said." He was, like, 75 and just being a flirty old man, so I smiled and sent him on his way. But it got me thinking. What if I don't want to be pretty? Why does pretty have to enter into it? Because I'm female? Men aren't expected to be pretty whether they're smart or not. They get to pick one or the other- or neither if they're rich. I mean- does it really, actually matter to the state of the country whether or not the First Lady has arms that are hot enough to wear a sleeveless shirt? Is that really something to talk about on the news? /rant

    To be fair there have been all kinds of articles written and air time given to 'OMG Obama is such a hottie.' It was rather depressing watching election coverage (Obama vs. McCain) were women were drooling over Obama as if his looks were a reason to vote for him (though, hell, it worked for JFK). There were and still are things said about Clinton and I recall Bush getting negative comments becuase he was not a 'hottie' like old Billy-boy. And no it doesn't matter what the first lady's arms look like until she starts a huge tax payer funded anti-obesity campaign. I don't give two shits what she eats/how she looks until she makes it part of the national conversation. Just like I do not care how much she drinks but if she starts a big anti-drinking campaign she better not show up in the paper passed out with a bottle of Jack. (For the record, I think the First Lady is a darn good looking woman her b*tchy resting face aside).

    As for the older gentleman's comments, I think it is more of a total package thing. "Sure, I am smart. I'm also good looking. Damn, right, got the total package." (well, 2 parts of it. We could toss in income, personality, and talents I suppose). Men are not 'expected' to be pretty but it sure as hell helps. Though sure, we can compensate with income, which more and more women can also do.

    So TL;DR take the compliment already
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  8. #9618
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    I am afraid I was also a bit saddened by a thread dedicated to finding out what body part we hated. I understand that it is a good thing to be honest with ourselves in regards to our strengths and weaknesses, but to actually "hate" a body part to me seems a wasted and unnecessarily harsh sentiment. Do an honest assessment, work to fix what is fixable, accept that which is not, get on with your life.

  9. #9619
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    I didn't find the thread to be particularly sad because it made me stop and think. I personally came away feeling happy with the self reflection that it caused me. My response is that I least like my calves, simply because boots that I wish I could wear, don't fit. After shedding 100 pounds I could have picked apart so many things, down to the varicose veins. At 63, down 100 I could have examined all day. But I didn't. I love my highly functioning body and how it serves me. Guy thinks my body is perfect. After decades of admittedly hating my body, I'm finally finding peace with who I am and how I look. So for me, that poll just gave me a pause to think. I think that my reflection is going into my 2013 Miracle Jar.

    But yeah, it's too bad that it was about what do we dislike rather than what really rocks about our bodies.

  10. #9620
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    Quote Originally Posted by drssgchic View Post
    ... and he said "You should say 'and pretty, too!' That's what my mother always said."
    When my girls were little(and still, because they have grown up into lovely young ladies) they would often get told how pretty they were, and I always followed it up with "And they're/she's smart, too!" Maybe I am just a braggy mom, but I wanted to make sure they heard how smart they were (and hard-working, even more important) at least as often as they heard how pretty they were.

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