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Thread: <Insert Bacon Here> One fat (guy's) primal journal page 159

  1. #1581
    geostump's Avatar
    geostump is offline Senior Member
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    The company I work for at the end of last year gave a contest to the employees to see how they can cut $5,000,000 in 1 quarter. Everyon suggested putting the entire company on email instead of printing papers for every little damn memo that comes out. DId that happen? NO
    Georgette

  2. #1582
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    Quote Originally Posted by geostump View Post
    The company I work for at the end of last year gave a contest to the employees to see how they can cut $5,000,000 in 1 quarter.
    Replace all upper management with howler monkeys. They will scream occasionally, make a lot of noise while accomplishing little, and throw shit around indiscriminantly. In other words you wont be able to tell teh difference besides in the amount of pay required to make them happy.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  3. #1583
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Replace all upper management with howler monkeys. They will scream occasionally, make a lot of noise while accomplishing little, and throw shit around indiscriminantly. In other words you wont be able to tell teh difference besides in the amount of pay required to make them happy.
    Pay in bananas is cheaper I believe.
    Georgette

  4. #1584
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    When I got laid off from the City, it was because my "position had been cut due to budget reasons." Nevermind that my floor was leasing a new laser printer, giving computer upgrades to those who didn't need it (WTF is a sexretary going to use an i5 4 gb memory alienware computer for?), and we were still buying 20 boxes of 3.5" floppy disks each year. That's just the obvious stuff.
    Canio, that really blows. I had to do the "midmanagement training" at the city, even though I wasn't managing anyone but me. We had to go listen to someone tell us "You should, like, work harder, or you might, like, get fired" every 3 months for 4 hrs. I feel your pain. I truly do.

    As to replacing upper management, just have a randomizing valve occasionally spray fecal matter from the bathrooms on midmanagements desk. Same effect and you don't even have the upkeep of the monkeys.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  5. #1585
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    As to replacing upper management, just have a randomizing valve occasionally spray fecal matter from the bathrooms on midmanagements desk. Same effect and you don't even have the upkeep of the monkeys.
    What about finding a pair of dirty panties in the women's restroom lying in the corner of a stall? We had that here about a month ago.
    Georgette

  6. #1586
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    Yes, discarded underwear and shit sprayers would make the place worse. Oh well. I really just need to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  7. #1587
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Yes, discarded underwear and shit sprayers would make the place worse. Oh well. I really just need to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
    Same here. Le sigh.
    Georgette

  8. #1588
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    I tried that. I knew/ know what I want to be, but people won't pay me to run around with the Big Blue Clue Bat of Doom beating folk upside the head. I'm trying my fall back plan and it involves more paper pushing than I care for. Screw this, I'm going storm chasing.
    *Stands up to dash off*
    *pauses*
    Fuck! Tornadoes require storms, which involve rain. Welp, I'm boned. Back to paper pushing.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  9. #1589
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    Fuck! Tornadoes require storms, which involve rain. Welp, I'm boned. Back to paper pushing.
    Needed: One huge ass fan. One stack of papers to be pushed.

    Put fan on table. Place papers about 3 feet away. Aim fan at papers. Turn fan on high. Paper storm is created.

    best of both worlds
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  10. #1590
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    Nah, papercuts and being smothered by TPS reports aren't my thing.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

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