Primal Journal: Punkgrokgirl Vs. Her Own Fat Butt, Round 1, FIGHT! page 5

[punkgrokgirl]

UGH. Big ass breakfast of left over pulled pork, eggs and kale/chard fried in coconut oil is hard to eat. I am sticking with the protein shakes! I also don't know where I went so terribly wrong in the last couple of days, but... I woke up this morning, not exactly full of boundless energy, but pretty alright, started making breakfast and then remembered last night. I had one of my sleeping panic attack/night terrors, waking up shouting and thrashing in the midst of violent existential crisis. It was a bad one. I'm a wondering if they're triggered when I go too low carb? I mean, I'm feeding my body supplements to help with the adrenals, but in the past few days I've been seriously VLC. I was having real bad night panic when I was doing the Whole30 and ended up in ketosis by accident.. Maybe I should try ask in the Leptin Reset thread and see if Dr Kruse has some insight.

[punkgrokgirl]

Huh. So yesterday I forced down that big ass breakfast around 8am, then managed a granny smith apple and almond butter around 3, couldn't really stomach the thought of any more food than that. Funny thing is, I slept great, no panic at all, I'm feeling positive and energetic today and I'm down another pound. 182.4 after a week of stalling out. BODY, WTF ARE YOU DOING AND WHY? ...Okay, whatever, it's cool, I feel good again and that's what's important. I just wish I could figure out the formula to stay feeling good. I'm on the right track, more on than off, but sometimes I just don't bloody know.

In other news, I knew my body was getting better when I fell down some stairs. Well, no, falling down the stairs in and of itself was not a great thing, but watching my body bloom and then heal this GIANT bruise in ten days was deeply impressive. I used to take weeks to heal the tiny finger print bruises I tend to end up with all over, now I barely even notice them before they're gone, and I think I'm bruising less easily in general.

[namelesswonder]

Wow what a bruise! I get excited about staying on-track with primal food because of stuff like this (not getting sick, sleeping well, healing fast etc.).

[geostump]

That is a wicked ass bruise. I had one next to my tailbone last month from slipping on the deck at my house in the rain. Didn't even feel it.

In regards to why you're feeling better on the reset, maybe you're finally getting the fat your body needs. I was panicky/depressed in the very beginning of this and eating coconut oil by the spoonful when that would hit did wonders for mental issues and low energy. Dr. Kruse ok'd me to do that jsut because I'm PCOS. Not sure if you are or not but if you are, you may want to consider trying it. If not, just keep cooking with it and using it with hot drinks at meals.

[punkgrokgirl]

Wow what a bruise! I get excited about staying on-track with primal food because of stuff like this (not getting sick, sleeping well, healing fast etc.).

Honestly, it's great. I rarely catch anything anymore, and if I do, I'm over it in a matter of days while everyone around me snuffles on for weeks. I think that started happening after just a few months primal, so hang on, everything gets awesome!

That is a wicked ass bruise. I had one next to my tailbone last month from slipping on the deck at my house in the rain. Didn't even feel it.

In regards to why you're feeling better on the reset, maybe you're finally getting the fat your body needs. I was panicky/depressed in the very beginning of this and eating coconut oil by the spoonful when that would hit did wonders for mental issues and low energy. Dr. Kruse ok'd me to do that jsut because I'm PCOS. Not sure if you are or not but if you are, you may want to consider trying it. If not, just keep cooking with it and using it with hot drinks at meals.

Ooh, ow, tailbone! I definitely felt that bad beast, I couldn't sleep on my side for days, but it was to the extent that if I hadn't fallen on my generously padded backside, I would have broken something. But it went so quickly!

I'm still unsure about the PCOS, but I think if I start to feel low during the day I'm going to take your advice and grab a spoonful of the good stuff. Oh yeah, there is already boku coconut oil in my life. In addition to cooking with it and then pouring the leftover out of the pan and onto the plated food, when I do protein shakes I add about 4 tablespoons of CO to the mix. I don't know what changed in the last couple of days, but maybe last week was just a random flux, or I was clearing some crap out of my body or something. Who knows. I'm just happy to feel so fantastic again.

[punkgrokgirl]

It's crazy to think that I've been at this on and off for almost three years now. The differences the whole primal/paleo thing has made in my life is immense, even if I haven't always been very good at it. I was just curious to compare so I popped back to this old thread and did some measuring.

So, when I started this journal (bearing in mind I had already lost ten pounds primal), I had just turned 29, my stats were:
187 lbs
c:40" w:32" h:46"
37% body fat according to the link in my first post.

Since the last post I had major life upheaval, moved to New Orleans last May, and have been having perhaps an unhealthy amount of adventures (grits, red bean and rice, snowballs, omg, southern food!), but have been biking everywhere and getting tons of sun...

Now, I turned 31 last week, still 5'8" ("wish I was a little bit taller, wish I was a baller...") Last time I weighed myself, which was probably two months ago-
165lbs
Measurements taken just now-
c:39" w:28.5" h:41.5"
Aaaand, 28% body fat. Alright, not bad!

And then I was inspired to snap a quick pic:



This has been a year of Not Even Trying. Ending a relationship, starting a business, closing a business, moving to the delicious South (and the most drinkinest city ever there was), starting a relationship, starting a business, ending a relationship, closing a business, and all of this while basically having no stable living situation and being dirt poor. Eating well and sleeping enough got the short end of the stick. But I think enough primal lessons have stuck that I made progress anyway. It's pretty exciting.

So, maybe in the course of this year I can get my body fat down to the low 20s, build a lot more muscle, perhaps achieve my goal of being Red Sonja for halloween (Or next Mardi Gras!). I'm not rushed or pushed. Looking back over this thread has made me really happy with what progress I have made.

Another pretty awesome byproduct of both turning 30 and moving to New Orleans was entirely running out of fucks to give. Seriously. I have been chubby and terribly self conscious all of my life, and all of a sudden, bam! SO fucking what? Wear shorts? SHORT shorts? In public?! With all my dimply thighs hanging out? Oh, yeah dude, it's 90 degrees out, no problem (Walking through the Quarter one night, an older black gentleman passed me and grinned wolfishly, "GIRL! You got mo' thighs than Popeyes!" Made my night). It is glorious and freeing and feeling comfortable in my own skin, fat ass and all, is a great gift. Not to say I don't still have my moments, but they are fleeting.

Ah yeah, just felt like I owed myself an update.

[namelesswonder]

You rule! A year of not trying? That's excellent progress. Also, great body image progress . I got over my squishy thighs (I mean, I'm sure they aren't to other people, but even as a bean pole teen they bothered me) last year and shall wear whatever bathing suit or shorts I want.

[IcarianVX]

SHE LIVES!!!! LMAO at the Popeye's thing.
Glad to see that you are progressing even though you aren't trying.

[punkgrokgirl]

@namelesswonder: Thanks kindly! It's really just been about keeping the primal principles in mind, it never felt like trying anyway. Ah yeah, fear of our own thighs, it's awful. Almost all women have at *least* a little squish and jiggle, but we live in terror of it, and, gods, it is boring! And when it comes right down to it, no one actually cares about anyone else's squishy butt. High five on bathing suits and shorts!

@IcarianVX: I have heard all the best lines here, New Orleans dudes got a way... Thanks, yeah, not much conscious trying anyway. For some reason, it seems like a made much better progress just taking it easy than I did being goal oriented. I am nature's own slacker!

[bamabelle]

OK, first of all you are my HERO for posting your pics---even the before pics when it was actually before!! Second, you look fabulous! Congratulations
I live in NYC now and as much as I love it, I'm from the south and I'm a little jealous that you get to live there! I do miss it
I am just starting out on my journey (day 17; first timer) and hoping to make as much progress as you!
Amanda