02-19-2011, 09:54 AM
hmm...this hasn't been my experience. while i've had some pretty great orgasms, it seems like my husband's usually equal mine.
Originally Posted by Enamel
but *if* this is true as a general rule, maybe it's a trade-off. men usually can come to an orgasm more quickly and with less stimulation or effort than women can.
02-19-2011, 10:11 AM
Oh yeah, I do remember discussing this with my BF once, and I did offer up the theory that it feels better because we really have to work for it, haha.
Originally Posted by Saoirse
I guess it really just depends on the person, but for the most part it just seems that guys end things with less huzzah.
02-19-2011, 12:24 PM
I have Bali Envy
Originally Posted by NourishedEm
02-19-2011, 12:58 PM
the issue with psychopathology is that it has multiple definitions. 1. that it can be an organic/physical pathology (such as schizophrenia); 2. that it could be culturally defined; and 3. that a given culture may define another culture's pathology (either culturally defined or organically determined) as not being a pathology (eg, "touched").
the second point that i was trying (but failing) to make is that when a pathology is defined by/as 2, then it will fall within a bell curve, as opposed to falling as a inherent flaw of an entire population within the culture. that is, only a small percentage of the population would be pathological for this reason.
the article that ciliakat posted posits that freud's assumption that most women held and/or required rape fantasies in order to make sex personally acceptable to them, asserted that there is a pathology in women -- across the board. the article, on the other hand, posits that it is not pathological, and might be a normal part of *human* sexuality as both men and women enjoy "domination" fantasies.
in the third instance/definition of pathology, we are really just leading into a bunch of social conjectures regarding comparative social analysis and then evaluating that against our own values. it is really just questioning -- does this socially function? does it only function within that culture? is it inherently problematic? why and how? what are we using to describe that?
To define a social problem, i would say that a social problem is the unconscious or unintended consequence of a social philosophy taking root within a culture and therefore becoming the new cultural paradigm. this social problem affects everyone, and therefore is not pathology (which functions on a bell curve). People will be affected in different ways and measures, but it causes a problem for everyone.
Feminism is a great example. In the pre-feminist world, the whole population was troubled -- in some fashion -- by the domination of other human beings. Men could not fully be men, and women could not fully be women. People could not fully be themselves. This is not a pathology, but a social problem. At some point, this paradigm was -- likely -- very helpful and solved previous social problems. And then eventually, unintentionally, created other social problems.
As feminism began to take root and dramatically change the culture, many benefits have arisen for both men and women -- for all people. This continues. but in addition, feminism created unintentional social problems for both men and women -- women are overworked "superwomen" and men become isolated, frustrated "sensitive 90s men." (using the definition utilized by the mythopoetic men's movement).
neither superwomen nor 90s men (and the mythopoetic movements of men and women) are criticizing feminism inherently. In fact, both laud feminism and all (to my knowledge) would consider themselves "feminists" (as unrelated to the cultural idea of "feminazis"). But, they also both acknowledge the unintentional social problem that has arisen, and seek to solve that social problem through social change within feminism as well as change within individuals. this is why it is a *movement* just as the feminist movement is a movement. the idea is to integrate what we have learned from feminism, and improve on it, solving the problems that have arisen *without* trying to trash the whole thing.
The idea being, you solve a social problem by tossing *just* the bathwater. You still maintain the value and care of the baby; and you still value the process of washing (change), but you do not value the dirty water, and so when the washing is done, you rid the water. When you identify that the social problem has arisen, you get rid of the water.
in the case, too, we might be dealing with a particularly dirty baby. having washed your share, i'm sure you realize that sometimes you have to change the water multiple times to get the baby clean. and of course, babies get dirty over and over, and so when the baby is dirty, you have to wash it.
a social problem is similar. a big social problem is a very dirty baby wherein you change the water many times. a small social problem is when a baby gets dirty and you wash it, and get rid of the water and move on.
this may not be any more clear, but it's what i'm thinking about. i have to skype now.
02-19-2011, 01:08 PM
i have bali envy too.
02-19-2011, 03:26 PM
HMMM, I seem to have missed alot today. For the record, I was not referring to rape when using the term ravish either. More like group sex as described by Grizz. As far as "pathological" is concerned, I am probably heathier sexually than I have ever been in my life. And it was this thread that helped me realize how I have changed.
On another topic all together...Today, This Goddess bought a sexy dress, heels and black stockings for a family wedding. It is my first dress in over 5 years and is two sizes smaller than anything in my closet. I tried it on for my husband when I got home. He proceded to drag me into the bedroom to help me "Get out of it". I guess he likes it.
02-19-2011, 05:22 PM
My BF seems convinced that my orgasms are way more intense than his. Again, I don't know if it's because I'm more vocal or not. I tend to believe that it's because mine seem to last longer. I'm not multi-orgasmic (more's the pity), but my orgasms last 2 or 3 times longer than his. Maybe that's it.
Originally Posted by Enamel
02-19-2011, 05:23 PM
This is awesome. Go you sexy Goddess you!
Originally Posted by Pebbles67
02-19-2011, 06:21 PM
i was unconsciously standing nude (post shower) in the middle of the house complaining about something (some tribunal related frustration), and the kid was napping, so DH did what came natural. very funny.
i hadn't even realized what i was doing. LOL
02-19-2011, 07:29 PM
I was talking with a guy I dated pre-husband today and he told me that he thinks I'm a closeted lesbian. I've always thought women are attractive but I've never actually thought I could have sex with one. Not too sure where I stand on this. My mom and all my friends back in high school even thought the same about me. Good lord...