Geostump Well Done!
Paleobird Does the "good girl" thing still apply when the ravishing fantasy includes multiple ravishers? Not saying I would ever do it, but I think about it sometimes. I'm a Baaad girl and I like it. lol
Primal since 9/24/2010"Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes
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paleobird: ciliakat's article (posted way early ago) posits that position as flawed in a fascinating way. it's a classicly freudian position (explained in the article), and while applicable in some cases, it asserts women as pathological about sex. i don't think we are. at least, not as much. and, it explains some other possible theories, and i've read a few more about potential "primal" social structure that may bear out (matriarchal vs patriachal societies and such).
but i do agree that there should be 'flow' between both parties.
dh just got shut down, btw, again due to timing/approach. he's done little to make things go well coming up to this point, and i was working and had just managed to get the little one down for a late nap, and then DH finishes something (don't know what) and just comes in and asks if i want to. it's like "yes, i want to; but no, i don't want to. it would be a lot of work to get myself up and going (receptive), and he's looking for a quickie (like i initiated last week) because we know the LO won't be asleep for long. i don't have the time i need. i explained this, and told him to go and read some more of this information, because he is NOT getting it. i explained it again, and he says he doesn't see the difference. so, i tried to explain it again. i don't know if it's working. LOL
anyway, we are becoming more practiced, so it's working out. but slowly.
I am a firm believer in "Whatever floats yer boat" or in this case your kayak. And, I am anything but Freudian in my theories. I don't think women are pathological at all. I think our whole society is pathological about sex. Also, there is a big difference between wanting someone else to take the lead and fantasizing about being raped.
I really hope you a DH work things through and get those kayaks in the water again.
i agree about society being pathological about sex. i don't fantasize about being raped, "ravished" must have a different meaning for me. "ravished" is about degree of force in a trusting way, not about coercion, if that makes any sense.
zoebird, i'd love to read that article that cillakat wrote. do you remember the title?
yeah, it's all good. and i wasn't accusing you of anything in particular, just asserting that the idea that you posit is addressed in that article in a fascinating way, and how it connects to the (older) fruedian idea.
and i don't think we are, by in large, pathological about sex. i do think we have large cultural issues related to it, but i don't think that is necessarily pathology.