Dh and i are doing well. i read a fair bit of the david shade stuff, and i am really curious. it's way less clinical and way more practical than a lot of the other things i was finding. and Dh is looking at it, but kind of sees it as a joke. i understand that the language can be off-putting to him. now he's looking at a website about swords. *eyeroll*
in his process, he's been involved in the men's movement for many years. he has been learning a lot about masculinity and things like "leading" and "having direction" and substance (please note that this is the mythopoetic men's movement, not to be confused with "promise keepers" or the men's rights movement). one of our practitioners gave him some work by David Deida, which speaks to the idea of leading. I pointed out that this is also Shade's primary point (once you get through a strong foundation for a relationship -- if that's what you want). Sure, some of the language is off-putting, but still -- the information looks pretty sound overall.
our main issue is still about action. in a quiet moment after watching a movie and having a good steak, i mentioned that it's not just initiating sex, it's initiating every activity that gets me riled up. like, we talked about how i'd mentioned our issues -- repeatedly -- over 5 years ago, and *nothing* has changed. during the last two years, i was really fed up and just shut down -- focusing only on myself and my son and getting us moved. he says he "didn't feel welcome" during that time, and quite frankly, he wasn't. but moving on from that, we still have to deal with the original issue.
we talked about Deida and Shade, and he said he would look into it. so, now i wait for him to act.