Speaking of toys, I was always too shy to get my own, but my husband bought one for me called Lucid Dream (I call it Viggo (Mortensen) or Gerard (Butler) depending on my mood, lol). My husband sometimes uses it on me while we are kayaking. Does anyone else use toys with their partner?
At the same time he bought the toy, he purchased "Flesh Gordon" . I had never seen it as I was only 10 when it came out. My hubs saw it in a theater when he was in the Navy. We watched it together. Very funny, not a serious porno, but a classic.
Primal since 9/24/2010"Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes
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Dh and i are doing well. i read a fair bit of the david shade stuff, and i am really curious. it's way less clinical and way more practical than a lot of the other things i was finding. and Dh is looking at it, but kind of sees it as a joke. i understand that the language can be off-putting to him. now he's looking at a website about swords. *eyeroll*
in his process, he's been involved in the men's movement for many years. he has been learning a lot about masculinity and things like "leading" and "having direction" and substance (please note that this is the mythopoetic men's movement, not to be confused with "promise keepers" or the men's rights movement). one of our practitioners gave him some work by David Deida, which speaks to the idea of leading. I pointed out that this is also Shade's primary point (once you get through a strong foundation for a relationship -- if that's what you want). Sure, some of the language is off-putting, but still -- the information looks pretty sound overall.
our main issue is still about action. in a quiet moment after watching a movie and having a good steak, i mentioned that it's not just initiating sex, it's initiating every activity that gets me riled up. like, we talked about how i'd mentioned our issues -- repeatedly -- over 5 years ago, and *nothing* has changed. during the last two years, i was really fed up and just shut down -- focusing only on myself and my son and getting us moved. he says he "didn't feel welcome" during that time, and quite frankly, he wasn't. but moving on from that, we still have to deal with the original issue.
we talked about Deida and Shade, and he said he would look into it. so, now i wait for him to act.
I just bought my BF the David Shade book which he has promised me he will read when it arrives. I was really interested in his stuff too, because that's the main area that my partner doesn't fulfill me. He doesn't take any leadership at all in the bedroom and I find that very off-putting.
It may be politically incorrect to say so, but many women I know and I for sure, love the idea of a man who will take charge in the bedroom and 'ravish' us. I don't know how that can be perceived as sexist personally. It just shows that your man has the hots for you and is passionate in his desire for you. If that's wrong, then I don't wanna be right!
for me, it's about being cared for and lead or gifted an experience, rather than having to create it myself from beginning to end.
so much of my life is planning and executing on plans. i am looking after my son, and taking care of a kid requires a lot of foreplanning to set them up for success so you don't have to punish and everyone has a great experience. day by day, my son is so happy and we hve no "discipline" problems normal to others -- this is largely because of the amount of research i do, work on myself, and all of the other things attendant. it's invisible work, but there's a lot to it. my household -- you know the house doesn't clean, declutter, and run itself. someone is doing that. i plan it, i organize it, and i do that work. the business -- it's a massive undertaking. my job is not just the day to day running (everything from cleaning to acocunting to interviewing and maintaining pracititoiners to customer service), but also all of the financial and strategic planning both short and long term.
and i feel like our marriage is like this too. i do a lot of the planning for our sex life, and a lot of planning for how our marriage goes. our dates, our lifestyle within the marriage. i even plan our vacations. LOL seriously, i'm in charge of the details. he's happy to execute, do what i want (for the most part), but taking the lead is not part of it.
he says now that he wants to, that he's going to work on it, and that it's right. i'm not sure i believe him. i think i need to see actual evidence, and after 14 years, i'm not sure i believe it. perhaps there is resentment too, i still need to work out. ah well. we'll get there (or we won't). LOL
which orgasm is best for you . . . the Clitoral, G-Spot, or D-Spot?
Depends on how revved up I am. If I'm still warming up, clitoral. If I've already warmed up, d- spot.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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my favorite toy is actually a "microdermabrasion" thing, just without the scrubby pad on it. I think it's by Neutrogena? I bought it to use on my face, but when I turned it on and felt the smooth, vibrating surface, I knew it would serve a much better purpose in bed I'd like to get one of the remote control eggs, which is inserted, then give the remote to my husband for use in public . . . . naughty, naughty!
Mr Toon and I woke up at the same time, and we got each other off before starting the day with a shower together. There are studies that show early morning sex leads to a better day, and I can believe that! One thing I must do is get my birth control in order. I am not on any form of BC, and it was sooooo hard not to go for real SEX this morning.
I don't see it as sexist at all to want men to be masculine, and to want to feel feminine. That is a big part of Tantra. If you want to have a really amazing valentines weekend, try this: Saturday, spend all night for HIS benefit (NO SEX), just worship him like a God, revel in his masculinity, etc. Sunday, he does the same for you, only you are the all-sexy Goddess. Then Monday, bring it all together and WATCH OUT! You will have your male/female batteries all revved up and ready to GO!