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  1. #211
    TheFastCat's Avatar
    TheFastCat is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Fuel
    PR'd my snatch - 187.5# last night
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  2. #212
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    I am risking overtraining right now. My recovery is okay physically (I'm never sore, sometimes a little tight) but mentally I am burning out. usually 1-2 (more often two) daily sessions of combined crossfit, oly lifting, running or yoga each day on top of ~45 hours of work each week (and 1.5 hours total commute each day) leaves very little time in my life for anything other than work, exercise, life maintenance (errands, chores). get up at 4:45 - 5:45 each day and want to go to bed by 9pm. I still like doing the volume I am doing - I am improving a lot and making gains across the board but I think it's time for a reorientation -- I could put all that energy into otherstuff like mental health and a relationship I am trying to build.
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  3. #213
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    I am proud of my performance today at the gym
    Press
    135x5
    140x5
    140x5
    140x5
    145x3
    145x3
    150x2
    160x1
    160-Fail

    Push Press
    185x1
    185x5
    185x5
    185x5

    Bench Press
    205x7
    205x7
    205x7

    I am very discontent however.

    In delving into the abysses of what is causing discomfort I have been undergoing a rigorous process of self-inspection. What are those things that poke, prod and hurt me? What existentialist yearning, drive and compulsion is punching my heart, demanding attention, recognition to be heard?

    By all accounts I am at my life's physical apex. I am leaner (<10% body fat; vigorous vascularity on hips, abs, chest -- 8 pack), stronger, more cardiovascularly fit, more attractive (my own, self-hating impression), highest salaried version of my self that I have ever been. I am healthier than ever. I am in a relationship with a woman I am love with. I have finally become Smiley - the prehistoric jungle cat I speak of at the beginning of this journal -- wanting to emulate; and yet at this moment I am terrified, sad, lonely, afraid, weak and emotionally miserable.

    I think, that if I may be allowed to run the risk of complete presumption, that the apex of reaching Primal nirvana occurs when all things being accomplished as per healthy living recommendations, diet, body composition, blood tests, sex life, career, et al - we find ourselves looking elsewhere to improve happiness. And perhaps coming to grips with the reality that the path forward is not forever *upward*, nor really set forth or defined in the Primal Blueprint. In truth in moving forward along the trail of life necessitates navigation of twists and turns, downs and ups, stumbles, skinned knees and sprained ankles. 100% compliance, wash board abs and a hot wife will not, by their own sake, make me happy, peaceful or content.

    I have decided that acknowledgement and understanding that imperfection is a core definition of who I am as an individual (personality, spirit, soul) - is required to obtain peace, happiness and love.

    I am painfully discovering my own imperfections. These imperfections are not manifested in a craving for unhealthy foods, laziness, apathy, unhealthy choices or other, probably more prevalent "non-primal things". Rather I am becoming aware of character flaws and those spiritual, personality-related definitions of who I am that are flawed, imperfect or altogether broken.

    This is a painful, agonizing and gut-wrenching process -- to see those horrid manifestations of myself that are ugly, pained and disgraceful. Harder also is accepting them and not trying to "fix them". In fixing them everyone else just seems broken. I am tasked right now with understanding and accepting them so that I might better understand myself and others. Perhaps this will introduce peace.

    My focus is therefore in embracing many things that I have neglected through my two-a-day workouts, 50+ hour work week + commute, clean Primal/paleo diet, intermittent fasting etc:

    Leisure
    Calm
    Acceptance
    Grace
    Happiness
    Rest
    Peace

    It is altogether terrifying and much more daunting than any physical achievement I have attained thus far.


  4. #214
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    Yesterday at 5:15 AM did Squats:

    5x255
    5x265
    5x265
    5x265

    pull ups
    chin ups

    didn't go back in the afternoon, instead took a 3 hour nap which was amazing. I was so tired, only 4 hours of sleep the night before thanks to the girlfriend.

    saw her again last night, made it to bed sometime after 11 - got up at 4:30, and went to the gym for the 5:15 AM class

    did Bench Press

    8x205
    5x215
    5x215
    5x215
    3x230
    3x230
    3x230

    straight leg dead lift
    8x205
    8x215
    8x215

    pendelay barbell rows
    5x135
    5x165
    5x165

    I might skip yoga at 5:30 PM for a nap instead
    Last edited by TheFastCat; 09-05-2012 at 07:50 AM.
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  5. #215
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    Low bar back squat
    5x255
    5x265
    5x265
    5x265
    3x280

    bench press
    7x205
    3x225
    3x235
    1x245

    bar bell rows
    5x175
    5x175
    5x175
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  6. #216
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    Low bar back squat
    280x5
    280x5
    280x5
    295x3
    (forget the rest)

    Overhead squat
    185x5
    185x5
    185x5

    Pendelay Rows
    185x5
    185x5
    185x5

    pullups/chin ups
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  7. #217
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    Urban Forager is online now Senior Member
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    Hi Fastcat,

    J'adore Henri. Here's a Rilke poem for you:

    You see I want a lot.
    Perhaps I want everything:
    the darkness that comes with every infinite fall
    and the shivering blaze of every step up.

    So many live on and want nothing,
    and are raised to the rank of prince by the slippery ease of their light judgements.

    But what you love to see are faces
    that do work and know thirst.

    You love most of all those who need you
    as they need a crowbar or a hoe.

    You have not grown old, and it is not too late
    to dive into your increasing depths
    where life calmly gives out its own secrets.

  8. #218
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    Update - still at it.

    Did fran for the first time in almost two years - PR'd at 6:23

    Have a crossfit competition in two weeks that I've been training for.

    I got my USA Weightlifting Level 1 Sports Performance coaching certification and just completed my Crossfit Level 1 trainer course this past weekend in Boulder, CO

    Stress is down and sleep quality has improved since week long vacation in Costa Rica Dec 26-Jan 2 -- included copious pina coladas, rest and relaxation.

    20609210101226604381948.jpg

    30456010151503498623054.jpg
    Last edited by TheFastCat; 01-14-2013 at 07:09 AM.
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  9. #219
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    Happy Hour: 1,000 meter row + Hip Mobility

    Pre-Party: Snatch Balance 5X3 (work up to a heavy set of 3) : 165#x3

    Party: 1 Power Snatch + 1 High Hang Squat Snatch @ 75% of 1 RM Snatch every 40 seconds for 8 Minutes (13 intervals total)

    I used 145# - missed two attempts of high hang squat snatch
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  10. #220
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    Happy Hour: Shoulder Mobility + 10 behind the neck press w/ barbell + 10 behind the neck push press w/ barbell + 10 Front Press w/ barbell + 10 Front Rack Push Press w/ barbell

    Pre-Party: Front Rack Jerks 5X2 - 205, 215, 225, 235, 245(f), 245(f)

    Party: As a Team of Two complete for time:

    2,000 Meter Row

    60 Chest to Bar Pullups (L1 - band assistance)

    90 Push Press (L1 - 75/50); (L2 - 115/75)

    did it in 18 minutes something. I sprinted the 1000 meter row which about killed me, was pretty useless on the push presses
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