Ok firstly, I'm angry and need to vent.
I am studying to become a Doula. I spent good money on a program and I have read countless books on childbirth and child rearing and pregnancy. I have a lot of money invested in this education because I am passionate about birth and a return to more organic labor and delivery (when medically possible).
Months ago my hubby's best friend, Tony got his "girlfriend" Melissa, pregnant. She's a sweet girl, but she's ditzy as all hell. A TTC that has received a terrible education and has been emotionally and mentally f*cked by her mother, all of which has left her socially retarded.
She is completely and totally devoted to Tony. He has admitted that if her were ask this girl to spread his poo all over her body she probably would, no questions asked. He can do no wrong and she makes no decision without consulting him because in the end he makes all decisions for her. (This behavior used to involve her mother, then her grandparents and sometimes her older sister.)
Melissa has admitted that she doesn't like making her own decisions and she needs others to make them for her. This goes to the extent that she didn't even have an OB until she was 7 1/2 months pregnant despite my telling her almost daily she needed to get a doctor! (please keep in mind both she and tony were living with us up until that point)
She was due on the 11th of January. The week before she decided to tell her doctor that I was her Doula.
I never broached this subject with her, because quite frankly, she acts like a child and I didn't want to be the one making all the decisions she and Tony should be making (except, that he could have cared less if she ever went to a doctor and never encouraged her to do so). However she knew I was studying and I do need to attend 2 births to obtain my certification and since she decided to give the doctor my name and number I didn't want to back out and look unprofessional.
So I panicked and bought a lot of what I needed for my birth bag, and I bought a couple of books to read that could get me though all of this at short notice and 3 days after her appointment when I went to meet with her she told me that Tony didn't want me to be her Doula. He was afraid I shoved myself on her and that I would replace him. I explained that is not my job, and that she knows very well I NEVER pushed my services onto her and I left some stuff for him to read about how a doula does not replace the partner. The next day she said that Tony said I could be around for the labor, but not the birth. I was fine with this, I could still use the birth for my certification.
Well her due date came and went, she was getting uncomfortable and worried, Tony was getting pissed off at using his precious few days off for false alarm contractions. I lent them a birth ball and told her to call me when she was ready.
This morning my husband called me to tell me the baby was on the way.
They never even had the decency to call me and tell me they didn't need my services, nor did they ever tell their doctor that they had dismissed me. So now I'm quite sure the doctor thinks I'm a no show and I'm back to finding TWO births to attend instead of one. I am so damn angry at the both of them it isn't even funny. They got $400 worth of services for free IN EXCHANGE FOR MY ATTENDANCE AT THE LABOR. ARGH!!!! I have been on call for 3 goddamn weeks, making no plans and not going out in case she needed me! ARGH!!!
Quite frankly I'm not entirely sure how to feel. It's already taken me awhile to get used to her pregnancy to begin with (long story) and we started getting along better and then this happens. Exactly what I knew would happen because she has no backbone and sticks her neck out for no one.
So with that out of the way.... I'll post later regarding more primal matters