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Thread: Jenny and Optimus Primal's Journal page 87

  1. #861
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    Well, this was a sort of smug-inducing moment even though it's not really justified:

    So I'm talking with my coworker and I tell her "I want to get in shape and build more muscle, and lose another 30-something pounds, then reevaluate and see what to target next."
    She looks horrified. "What?? No! You don't have 30 pounds to lose!"
    Me: "Are you kidding? I'm 195 pounds. Even 165 is technically still overweight."
    Her: "Wait, you mean you're 165 now?"
    Me: "No, I'm 195 now. Heh."
    Her: "No way. I'm 120, you can't be more than 15 pounds more than me."
    Me: "I'm just very dense and I tend to have more muscle than the average fat chick. Also, I don't think a lot of people have a realistic sense of what different weights can look like. It really varies by individual. I know I've seen other women who are 200 pounds and I think, 'No way, she looks so different from me.'"
    Her: "I guess so! Wow. Well you look great already."
    Me: "Thanks. "

    This is a common experience for me. Sure, women tend to undershoot weight guesses as a way to avoid insulting others, but she seemed genuinely shocked. I've had lots of friends even back when I was more athletic assume I weigh less than they do, when in fact I have like 40 pounds on them.

    And I do think I'm pretty good looking even though I'm not skinny (and presumably never will be, though I will lose weight.) Maybe that's my warped American obese=normal perspective, or maybe I just have a better attitude about my other positive attributes than some gals do.

    But, I still want to _feel_ a particular way and losing weight will definitely help my health.

    It's only been a couple days, but so far my "eat more protein and make sure I really get a salad" seems to be working out nicely. Yesterday I had one of my stews and then a salad at dinner, and I wasn't hungry. Yet that definitely is a reasonable calorie deficit. By my calculations I could probably do two soup + salad and still get a deficit or near-deficit for the day, but if there are days I can comfortably undershoot that, why not?

    I wouldn't call it official IFing, but I've also been waiting until as late in the day as possible at work before busting out my lunch. This is something I naturally do anyway because I'm busy, so it sort of works out anyway.

    And as for sleep... I am taking my evening vitamins right after dinner now, and having my last big glass of water then instead of later. Hopefully this will prevent me from waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Even if I manage to hold it, on some level it probably disturbs my brain a bit from otherwise-deep sleep.

    (I know you're supposed to take vitamins with a meal anyway, but I was in the habit of taking them immediately before bed as a way to dodge pregnancy nausea back when I was pregnant. It only just occurred to me that I was still doing that and didn't need to!)

    I also got the App Store - Sleep Cycle alarm clock and used it for the first time last night. I dunno, it might be a scam, but the theory seems sound enough and many people say it helps them. We'll see how it feels long-term as I wake up... waking is always a challenge for me. Of course the other half of that equation is going to bed at a good time!
    Last edited by Jenny; 12-16-2011 at 05:14 AM.

  2. #862
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    Here's the output from that Sleep Cycle app for last night:



    Basically it uses the accelerometer in the phone to sense how much you move around, and then watches for your most active periods to determine how awake you are. It tried to time its alarm for the peaks of your awake-ness.

    This seems to have timed it properly at the top of a cycle, so that's good. The jaggies at the end of the graph are me smacking the phone for snooze purposes.

    (Yes, I slept just five hours last night! Ugh. I had a bit of a crisis to deal with in my online business last night. I'm going to bed early tonight to try and balance that out...)

    Apparently these 1.5 hour cycles are very typical, which makes sense since my body is in the habit of expecting about 7 hours of sleep. (divide by four = 1.5 hours each). Of course what my body REALLY wants is FIVE cycles of sleep for around 8.5 hours total. I can usually sleep even longer than that given the opportunity, but that's due to sleep deficit. I think if I could arrange for 8.5 hours of sleep a night, I'd be much better off.
    Last edited by Jenny; 12-16-2011 at 05:23 AM.

  3. #863
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    BWAAAAGH my incision is open AGAIIINNNNNNNN AAAAAAAGH.

    Also it's worse than last time. I am so upset I'm shaking right now. Godeffingdammit.

    So, let's see. Back to wound care this week. I'll INSIST that they do some kind of culture, give me antibiotics that actually can kill the bug in question, and do the surgery again to try and get the area more stable. Which means more recovery.


  4. #864
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    Latest news. I have several friends with parents who are doctors, and both have said "You should talk to my mom/dad!" But I kept saying "That's sweet, but I'm all set, thanks!" ... because the mom-doc is a GP and I already have a GP, and the dad-doc is a cardiologist, so rather irrelevant...

    Well, actually it turns out the cardiologist has a subspecialty in wound care. Oops. Guess I should have asked why he was suggesting his dad all along...

    So, his dad says the wound care center I was going to did have a good reputation at one point, but they've gone downhill in recent years. He wants me to make an appointment at his office for Wednesday and then he'll figure out what to do, or where to refer me, or what have you. Someplace reliable. He thinks maybe they didn't redo the incision correctly (which wouldn't surprise me since the redo was by the same doctor who wasn't handling this too well to start with...)

    And I'm very curious as to what he'll say about the possibility of infection or if it's just very weak tissue / stitched poorly / whatnot...

    Anyway! Wednesday!

    Meanwhile the hole is bigger than before, but seems to have stalled out. So, uh, yay? Seems like every time this happens it gets bigger for a few days, then calms down.

  5. #865
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    Jesus. You just can't catch a break, Jenny. Here's hoping this guy helps set things straight.

    As for me, I might not be able to make PAX. Stupid money.
    "Oh, you wanted answers...yeah, sorry, I'm not so good with those. Uh, probably something to do with science or something..." -- canio6

    August 2010: 207 lb, 37" waist, 25+% BF | Currently: 177 lb, 33" waist, ~15% BF

    Sometimes blogging as The Primal Mind. (My unorthodox and filthy-mouthed journal is semi-retired at this point)

  6. #866
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    AAAARRGH!!! sweet baby cheesus!! sorry about the incision, hopefully the new doc will be able to figure it out.

    that sleepcycle app is really cool, i'm going to forward it to the hubby.

  7. #867
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    That is downright horrific honey! WTF? Why can't they fix you? That must be so hard. You have an amazingly positive attitude for as long as this has been going on. What has it been, a year? My goodness. Maybe you need some new doc. Best of luck. Take care of yourself.
    Notebook of a Nutrition Nerd

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  8. #868
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    Yeah, a year. Thanks for the sympathy, all. I am sure I sound like a broken record by now!

    I talked to my GP today to forewarn her that I'm skipping to another doctor. Basically lampshaded it by saying "I don't want to be one of those patients who just switches doctors for no reason, but I think we really need a fresh perspective here!" (made sure to say "we" there) "The wait and see approach makes conservative sense, but I've had a lot of that already."

    She agreed, of course. Not that I need her Approval(tm) but she is still my favorite doctor, she's totally on board with primal/paleo, I want her to understand why I'm going to another doc, etc.

    She wants me to let her know what he says and whether he wants to do a culture on it, etc.
    "Trust me, you will soon enter a magical land full of delicious steakflowers, with butterbacons fluttering around over the extremely rompable grass and hillsides."

  9. #869
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    Oh, no Jenny - that's so frustrating!! And scary. No wonder you were shaking. Good on you for talking with your GP, and for going to another doc to see what other perspectives there are. Keep us posted on how you go tomorrow (well, it's tomorrow for me!)
    Started Feb 18 2011

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  10. #870
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    This is a common experience for me. Sure, women tend to undershoot weight guesses as a way to avoid insulting others, but she seemed genuinely shocked. I've had lots of friends even back when I was more athletic assume I weigh less than they do, when in fact I have like 40 pounds on them.
    I understand this. I'm 5' 1/2". I while ago I posted (#1601) a couple of OLD photos of me weighing at least 125lbs. According to all the "charts" I should weigh 100lbs and I'm 20-25lbs overweight in these photos...I think my bones are made of lead. Maybe yours are too?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    BWAAAAGH my incision is open AGAIIINNNNNNNN AAAAAAAGH.

    Also it's worse than last time. I am so upset I'm shaking right now. Godeffingdammit.
    Oh NO! How horrid!!!
    Have you tried any homeopathic remedies to help the healing? I'm wondering about Hypericum (its for deep wounds)...just a suggestion of something to try in addition to seeing a specialist. This is definitely not something you can treat yourself!
    "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
    "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
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    "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


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