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  1. #501
    Jenny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by geostump View Post
    If my doctor would have told me...
    Stupid doctors.
    Yeah, exactly. It's downright depressing how far people have to go out of their way to stay informed, stuff doctors should have said but didn't. I'm all for people being proactive, well-informed patients, but doctors seem very oblivious to even the basics of breastfeeding.

    For example, I told my OB/GYN I was having milk supply issues and his reaction was basically "Oh well, you have PCOS and you're back at work, it happens." He gave me ZERO suggestions at that point, just acted like it was a dead end. Didn't mention LLL or anything. But since I knew better at that point, I went on to say, "So I'm pumping more and taking fenugreek and that's helping." And he says, "Fenugreek? What's that?"



    Hmm. In hindsight, I shouldn't be surprised he was so oblivious... this is the same guy who was (mis) handling my incision woes, too. Coincidence?! Maybe not!

  2. #502
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Oh, I know they are all tossers -- I love that term too -- and I don't take it too personally. They're just tales of crazy which I wanted to share.

    It's still pretty sad because it means other women who are ... this is gonna sound sexist, but bear with me for a moment and then tell me if you think it IS sexist... other women who are already self-conscious and perhaps also more hormonal than usual end up having to deal with these same jerks, and they may not all be able to handle it as well.

    So for example: I was shopping for a bra at the maternity store and my mom asked the sales gal, "Do you have this in a size 38D?" and she laughed at us and said "When you're that big you don't get to choose!"

    Now, I know she's an idiot (particularly since that isn't even a super huge size...) and I know not to take that personally. But it was still worth telling her manager that she's an idiot because, you know, she's working in a maternity store. I've known way too many pregnant women who are freaked out that they're getting "fat" and would have just melted down crying at that point.

    RE: making it hard to talk about problems in the medical system that may cause unnecessary interventions, I totally agree. Because so many (myself included) end up in this preemptively defensive mode, it's like you can't even make a statement without disclaiming it:
    "Induced labor ends up in c-sections far too often -- oh but in my case we really did need the c-section! Really!"

    And I often wonder if every time I say "I NEEDED a c-section" if there's a sort of accusative implication against some women who maybe really didn't NEED it. Which just makes women defensive again.

    Maybe I'm overthinking this. But, this kind of peer pressure / reading between the lines of the lines stuff is what makes being female such a joy.
    I don't find that sexist at all. Hell, in my experience male doctors have been more proactive with me in certain areas than female doctors. I wonder if that's across board.

    Hell, if VS sells a 38D(which apparently that's what they tell me I am when I can still wear a 38C I bought there years ago) then the maternity shop should have that readily available and the sales associate should know this is a fairly common size nowadays.
    Georgette

  3. #503
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    Quote Originally Posted by geostump View Post
    then the maternity shop should have that readily available and the sales associate should know this is a fairly common size nowadays.
    Yep... I honestly think she was just the type of person who defaults to the bitchy, snarky answer instead of actually doing what a sales person should do ("I'll check" or "Sorry, we don't carry that size.")

  4. #504
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Yep... I honestly think she was just the type of person who defaults to the bitchy, snarky answer instead of actually doing what a sales person should do ("I'll check" or "Sorry, we don't carry that size.")
    I had something similar happen when I was bigger and wore a 44D. I needed one of them full body strapless deals for a wedding I was in and ended up going to several high end shops and kept being turned away as no one would carry that size. Finally, I found a shop that had the size and the sales clerk ended up telling that if I lost a few pounds, it would make finding a bra that much easier. I looked at her and said, "mean cunt much?" and walked out. Ended up having to go to Michigan to get the damn bra that I needed.
    Georgette

  5. #505
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    Quote Originally Posted by geostump View Post
    the sales clerk ended up telling that if I lost a few pounds, it would make finding a bra that much easier.
    *eyeroll* Ah yes, that's a classic... the basic message being, "I want to inform you that you're fat, since clearly you must have NO idea that you are fat or that it makes certain things more difficult!"

    Because, you know, with all the health issues, social issues, logistical issues, and other trouble associated with being overweight... some saleslady telling us it might be easier to bra-shop is what will finally convince us to bother losing weight. Uh-huh. FAIL.

  6. #506
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Oh, I know they are all tossers -- I love that term too -- and I don't take it too personally. They're just tales of crazy which I wanted to share.

    It's still pretty sad because it means other women who are ... this is gonna sound sexist, but bear with me for a moment and then tell me if you think it IS sexist... other women who are already self-conscious and perhaps also more hormonal than usual end up having to deal with these same jerks, and they may not all be able to handle it as well.

    So for example: I was shopping for a bra at the maternity store and my mom asked the sales gal, "Do you have this in a size 38D?" and she laughed at us and said "When you're that big you don't get to choose!"

    Now, I know she's an idiot (particularly since that isn't even a super huge size...) and I know not to take that personally. But it was still worth telling her manager that she's an idiot because, you know, she's working in a maternity store. I've known way too many pregnant women who are freaked out that they're getting "fat" and would have just melted down crying at that point.

    RE: making it hard to talk about problems in the medical system that may cause unnecessary interventions, I totally agree. Because so many (myself included) end up in this preemptively defensive mode, it's like you can't even make a statement without disclaiming it:
    "Induced labor ends up in c-sections far too often -- oh but in my case we really did need the c-section! Really!"

    And I often wonder if every time I say "I NEEDED a c-section" if there's a sort of accusative implication against some women who maybe really didn't NEED it. Which just makes women defensive again.

    Maybe I'm overthinking this. But, this kind of peer pressure / reading between the lines of the lines stuff is what makes being female such a joy.
    no i think you're right on both accounts. women do generally get sensitive during pregnancy and clerks at maternity stores should be especially careful. and yeah, when you're that size there are still lots of great options, but it's easier to find them online.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    *eyeroll* Ah yes, that's a classic... the basic message being, "I want to inform you that you're fat, since clearly you must have NO idea that you are fat or that it makes certain things more difficult!"

    Because, you know, with all the health issues, social issues, logistical issues, and other trouble associated with being overweight... some saleslady telling us it might be easier to bra-shop is what will finally convince us to bother losing weight. Uh-huh. FAIL.
    tossers!

  7. #507
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    So happy to have given you a new word to 'toss' around, lol. Here's another - they're wankers, the lot of them!!

    I was trying on a bra a while back, and I know damned well that some styles seem to absorb that little bit of fat that can pouch out under my arms while other styles pop it out. So I told the shop assistant (a dried up, skinny old thing) that the style didn't work and I wanted to try another one. Wee darling thing said that if I wasn't fat in the first place, I wouldn't have to search for something to hide the bulge. Then she rolled her eyes! Bitch.

    I get a bit fed up for myself, but having someone be that unkind and downright stupid and hurtful to my girls . . . well, it outrages me. Even so, Geo, it never occurred to me to say what you did. I'm storing that one away for the next 'mean cunt'. Love it!!
    Started Feb 18 2011

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    "There's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path" - Morpheus

  8. #508
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    i never realized how bitchy women can be. btw jac, i definitely have those pouches of boob by my armpits too. i don't know anyone who doesn't, and i know some rather skinny minnies.

    oh and i love "wankers" too and use it once in a while; next favorite is "fuckwit" which the kids hear when some fuckwit pulls in front of me in traffic.

  9. #509
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jac View Post
    So happy to have given you a new word to 'toss' around, lol. Here's another - they're wankers, the lot of them!!

    I was trying on a bra a while back, and I know damned well that some styles seem to absorb that little bit of fat that can pouch out under my arms while other styles pop it out. So I told the shop assistant (a dried up, skinny old thing) that the style didn't work and I wanted to try another one. Wee darling thing said that if I wasn't fat in the first place, I wouldn't have to search for something to hide the bulge. Then she rolled her eyes! Bitch.

    I get a bit fed up for myself, but having someone be that unkind and downright stupid and hurtful to my girls . . . well, it outrages me. Even so, Geo, it never occurred to me to say what you did. I'm storing that one away for the next 'mean cunt'. Love it!!
    The one thing that my husband has noticed is I no longer have pit-boob popping out on any of my bras. I no longer have back titties either. A friend of ours that we work out with on occassion stopped by Friday and I changed into a tank top after work and he noticed that and said I'm looking a lot smaller all over since we've worked out last. Go me!

    I use mean cunt a lot more now that I'm older. Pretty much use it daily. Figure with knowledge, a dirty mouth is allowable.
    Georgette

  10. #510
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    I've been reading all of the posts on medical and shopping troubles. WOW, there are a lot of assholes around! Regarding the difficulty finding things, I can relate. Apparently, men my size don't need decent boots or trench coats, or a variety of other items, like jeans that fit, but are not too long. I sometimes do without, often look at many stores, and have to get the boots I like in women's size.

    But in my case, nobody makes rude comments. I am also offended by the kinds of people you have been describing.

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