The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page

[Pebbles67]

Happy New Year!

I have been thinking of starting this journal since I first started primal eating in September. Now you know that I am a terrible procrastinator. I don't think that bodes well for the success of this journal, but here I am anyway. My goal here is to have a place to put down my thoughts about the primal life as opposed to the insanity of life on the SAD. I hope that posting here will help keep me honest and help me analyze some of the things that cause me to go back to eating badly even though I know that I am killing myself. I intend to post at least once a week.

A little about me - I am a 43 year old wife and mother of three sons ages 6,12, and 15. I am also a high school Spanish teacher. I hope that didn't bring up bad memories for anyone. I know language teachers are sometimes the most hated. We have special ways of torturing students like conjugating verbs. You may want to check out Adam Sandler's "Beating of a high school Spanish teacher" just for a laugh.

I have been fat since age 8. I had been fed a high carbohydrate diet from the start, but that was the point that pictures show that my body could no longer fight the carb overload. Both of my parents were obese. My father was probably 450lbs when he passed away two years ago. My Mom has weighed over 300, but now she is eating primally and doing well. Let me be clear, I do not blame my parents for my food issues. I just wanted to set the background so that the reader will understand that I have a looooooong relationship with food. My parents had many hard things happen to them in their lives. They became used to coping with emotions, stress etc. by smothering bad feelings with food. Food was their and my drug of choice. I find myself incredibly grateful that they were not alchoholics or drug addicts, but the underlying behaviors are the same. It just takes longer to die. Food addiction is easier to hide and more acceptable in society.

I know that the primal way of life is the answer to all of the above. I have played around with every diet with some success, but never any permanence. This way of life fights the addiction to carbs, stabilizes my emotions and build my confidence with exercise. That said, I wish that I could honestly write that I have been faithful to primal since I started in late September, but I lost it in early November and just cleaned up my act three days ago. More on that another day.

As of Dec 29th I am Grain, Sugar and Dairy free again. I even had a primal NYE feast last night. I lift heavy things 2x a week at the gym and belly dance 1x a week for play. I am not sprinting yet.

I have lost 17 pounds, even with all the messing around. I am 5'10" inches tall and hope to lose 100 pounds total, while building muscle of course.

Friends, feel free to comment on anything that you wish. Your thoughts will help me in my journey, knowing that I am not alone in this fight. I will strive to be thick skinned and take criticism where its given, knowing full well that we are all here to help each other.

Hasta Luego!

[Pebbles67]

So, lets review 2010 and declare a plan of attack.

This past year was full of great strides in my health: I lost 25 pounds (17 through primal eating)
I joined a gym and have lifted heavy things 2x a week pretty consistently since April
I discovered the Primal Blueprint three months ago

* I had my best and worst health experiences this year. Three weeks into my primal journey, I nearly died from pulmonary emboli. ( I'll talk more about that experience in another post) I sort of lost my momentum after I left the hospital, but now that I have fully recovered, I am ready to get back to it in 2011.


Goals for 2011: Eat primally all year. ( Okay let's break that down to a week, then a month etc.)
Get my family to join me in this way of life.
Add Sprints to my exercise routine

Smaller steps: I will weigh, measure and check my BF% every Sunday. And post here, of course.
I will reward myself for each 10 pounds lost. I have to think about what I might want as a reward.
Daily show my family how the primal way of life is making me a better Wife and Mom

1st Mini goal-25 pounds down by my April 15th gym anniversary (230lbs)

[Lindsey]

Happy New Year and good luck with your goals1

[Pebbles67]

Thanks Lindsey. I hope 2011 is a good year for you too.

This will be my Sunday check in post. It is my last day of Winter break so I probably will not post again until next weekend.

Weight 253.6

BF% 41.3 ( I have a machine that measures BF & BMI so I'll put both here for the record)

BMI 36.1

Waist 37in, Hips 52in, Chest 44in, Arms 17in, Thighs 30in

Until next time...

[Pebbles67]

The first day back to school was great. I can't believe how much energy I had today and how much I accomplished.

[Pebbles67]

Made it through my first clean week since before Thanksgiving!

Possible snow day tomorrow. I told my students that I would put on my "Snowday" pajamas tonight. (The word snowday is written all over them)

Just in case, I'll hit the gym tonight to make sure I get my 2nd weekly workout in.

[Pebbles67]

Weekly check in. I did not lose any more weight this week. In the first five days back on primal I dropped the 7 pounds that I was up from the holidays.

BF% 41.5 BMI 36.1 (no change)

The real change came in inches lost.

Waist 36 -1
Hips 50 -2
Bust 43 -1
Arms 16 -1
thighs 29 -1

I'm not sure why these inches lost did not translate to body fat loss, but I'm happy anyway.
I feel great mentally and physically.

[Pebbles67]

Thoughts on Health and Illness

I have been obese since elementary school, but I always considered myself a "healthy" fat person. That belief may have been true up until my mid-thirties, but after that time I was probably lying to myself. The high level of grains and sugars that I ate on a daily basis made me generally tired and emotionally unstable. It got tougher to be a good wife, mom and teacher. Little did I know that underneath the surface the inflammation was damaging my veins and setting me up for sudden death.

January 1st 2010 I hit my highest weight (280), and decided that it was time to make a change. I joined a gym in April and started doing WW there as well. ( I liked the Weight Watcher's meeting and still attend even though I am not doing their plan.)

In September my chiropractor introduced me to the Paleo diet. I chose Primal after reading about it here at MDA.

By October 15th I had done three solid Primal weeks. My gym workouts had made me strong. I was feeling great. As I left my school on that Friday afternoon I was looking forward to a great weekend. I was approaching my car when I suddenly felt short of breath. At first I thought it was asthma, but by the next day I knew I was in trouble. I went to the emergency room.

It turns out that I had bilateral pulmonary emboli blocking my lungs and my heart was filling up with blood. I was a hair's breadth away from death. They kept me in the ICU for two days. I was not allowed out of bed and they didn't feed me for 24 hours in case I needed emergency surgery. (My first IF). I spent six days in the hospital.

I am now on Coumadin, a blood thinner, to prevent clots from forming. Other than that life is pretty well back to normal. I was able to stay primal in the hospital by requesting gluten free meals. I was determined to stick with this way of life because now it was really a life and death issue. I got back to the gym in mid november and have just gotten back to lifting the weight I had reached before the crisis.

Physically, I feel fine. Mentally, I struggle with alot of emotions around my illness. I am grateful to be alive, but I have also felt fear, anger, self pity and rebelliousness. It was the rebellion that set me off on an eating binge that lasted through most of November and December. I finally got ahold of myself on December 29th. I was feeling physically ill and was able to really ask myself "Do You want to die?". I was certainly acting like I had a death wish.

So here I am, trying to save my own life. Next time Thoughts on Rebellion

[Pebbles67]

Ugh! I came really close to bingeing last night. Around 8pm I started to think about carby food. I could see and taste the bowl of cereal and the toast and pb. The bad thing was that my husband was leaving for work at 9:30 so I could have gone crazy.
Instead, I had some fruit and protein and went to bed.

So, What is the trigger? I was fairly happy yesterday-went to the gym, accomplished some things around the house, hung out with my family.
Boredom?, Hormones?, Tiredness? I wish I knew what to do to circumvent a binge. While I was victorious last night, that is rarely the case. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just one night, but my binges tend to last for days.

[Pebbles67]

OOOOH I just noticed that I am now a "Member" no longer just a junior. Yeah, I'm easily pleased.