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Thread: The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page 87

  1. #861
    athomeontherange's Avatar
    athomeontherange is offline Senior Member
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    I wear merrels, nb or 5 fingers to work. My kids love my shoes.. lol its so weird.. but they notice
    Karin


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    What am I doing? Depends on the day.

  2. #862
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    You are amazing and inspiring I just spent most of the day reading your journal from the very begging. I hope I can "friend" you as I move along my primal journey.

  3. #863
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    Pebbles67 is offline Senior Member
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    Fabbecky Welcome! Is that as in Fabulous Becky? I am always happy to make new friends. FYI, I know the Finger Lakes Region very well. I went to Wells college from 85' - 89' Keep in touch.

  4. #864
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    Thoughts on things that I cannot change

    My Father was a very charismatic man. He was handsome, had a beautiful voice and was a very inspirational preacher. His big dream was to be an evangelist with my Mom and I at his side singing and sharing the love of God with the world. Unfortunately, my Dad was also a very damaged man. He had suffered many things as a child and young man and could not seem to let go of some of life's difficulties. His big dreams never came true, but I could tell you many stories of all the good things he did. When he died in 2009, he was living in a retirement home in Oregon. He had physically and emotionally separated himself from my Mom and I. We communicated about every 6 months. He would say he loved me, but that he wasn't a good father. I assured him that I didn't feel that way and that I wanted him to come back to NY to be near me. I tried to get him back for 10 years to no avail. My sons missed out on knowing him. Sad.

    I am much like my father. I always understood his strange behavior even though I didn't know why. Then I had children of my own. Two of them have Asperger's Syndrome. One day as I was doing research to help my kids, a lightbulb went off. My Father and I both had/have mild Asperger's too.

    My Dad could not move on from his past and achieve his dreams because his Aspergian brain caused him to hyper focus on his pain and failures. Add to that a lifetime of SAD eating and you have an emotionally paralyzed man who never reached his potential. I was headed down the same path before I found the Primal way of life, but I still have to be careful that I let go of things that weigh on my mind rather than letting them control my actions. So here's to acceptance.

    1) I cannot change anything in the past good or bad. Of course it is the bad stuff, pain, embarassment, failure, that sticks in my brain.
    2) Some of the damage from being overweight for 35 years will not be undone even with the miracle of Primal, specifically, my damaged legs, but it is not too late to protect myself from an early death and have a vibrant life from now on.
    3) All three of my kids have learning disabilities and may never reach my dreams for them, but I can do my best to see that they are healthy and happy.
    4) I have Asperger's, no matter how mild, that causes me to easily hyper focus and go into my own little internal world. I can work to be aware and in the moment and set boundaries on the distractions that steal my time and at times keep me emotionally distant from my family.
    5) The grass is not greener on the other side. I can accept the good life I have and work to make it better.
    6) I will never be a Broadway star (my dream), but I can sing, dance and act in my own little community.
    7) I cannot bring my Mom back or change the fact that on her last day I didn't tell her I loved her and was blessed to have her as a Mom. I didn't even pray with her. But God knows, and I'm sure he has told her.

    As Usual, Thanks for reading, my friends.
    Last edited by Pebbles67; 11-15-2014 at 04:13 PM.

  5. #865
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    Paula, that's very beautiful. You made me cry. If I can help in any small way through our discussions here on our forum, I'm happy to do so.

  6. #866
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    Paula, it is so very healthy for you to reach this point of understanding and acceptance and to be able to 'verbalize' it. Congratulations on the growth. And, like Ruth, I am here for you in any way that I can help.
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
    Unknown

    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

  7. #867
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    Paula, that is a very powerful statement you have made.

    Yes Fab as in Fabulous. It is my screen name everywhere, originally chosen when I lived in Las Vegas. I live on Keuka Lake now and am finishing my BS in Education at Keuka College Decided to finally go to school for real when I got pregnant with my 4yr old, went to school full time again and found out I was pregnant with my 2.5yr old. It has been a journey... My certifications will be Spec Ed 1-6, Spec Ed 7-12, Childhood Education 1-6, and Adolescent Social Studies I would like to (dream job) teach either 4th grade or High School/Junior High Social Studies - and eventually go back to school for my PhD in History.

  8. #868
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    Paula- WOW. I am still digesting some of this and will need to read this again. I love that you are at a point where you can put things into perspective like this. Its an inspiration to me. YOU are an inspiration to me.
    Karin


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  9. #869
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    Quote Originally Posted by athomeontherange View Post
    Paula- WOW. I am still digesting some of this and will need to read this again. I love that you are at a point where you can put things into perspective like this. Its an inspiration to me. YOU are an inspiration to me.
    +1

  10. #870
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    Love your realizations. The Aspergers one especially. This will allow you ways to help your sons big time!

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