Even after we separated I tried,. We dated, went to individual counseling, communication workshops, marriage counseling, journaled back and forth because I "was too fast with verbal responses".
In the end, my ex had a secret that came out. It was something I couldn't live with or work through and I was done.
It was when he knew for sure there was no going back that he started doing everything he could to, in his words, annihilate me. Now to my face, he promised and still promises to do right by me. What he tells our children and his actions, on the other hand, betray his words.
It was hard being single mother of 3 and dealing with the fall out of what was revealed. His contempt and selfishness was and is hard on all of us. However, it is one of the best decisions I have ever made.
I say all of this to let you know I understand and don't take ending a marriage lightly. I do think you still need to express, even if only in writing, what his behavior does to you.
I also think boundaries would be good. When he gets mean/mad/whatever,I would say something like ,I don't deserve to be spoken to/treated in that manner and then walk off. If you wont take his offloading of negative feelings he may find a different way to deal with those feelings.