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Thread: The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page 655

  1. #6541
    Pebbles67's Avatar
    Pebbles67 is offline Senior Member
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    Oct 2010
    Mid-Hudson Valley New York
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    This was an interesting weekend with lots of roller coaster ups and downs and some scary parts.

    Billy's graduation was great, but he seemed subdued the rest of the weekend.

    We went to the 2 grad parties on Saturday, one for a friend and another for a family member. The friend party was uncomfortable for us because we only knew the boy and his immediate family. I am never good in that kind of situation. Too shy. believe it or not. The family party was fun and we caught up with many people. Most of them will be at Billy's party as well.

    I ate badly all weekend. I have one week left of June to eat clean and try to salvage something out of this w30. I still learned a lot, but in the end, the poor eating may hinder scale and measurement progress. I will continue w30 through July.

    I was a jumble of emotions and hormones this past week. In addition to my usual feelings about the end of the school year and then Billy's graduation, we had a pregnancy scare. I have always been on a very set schedule for my period. In the last 6 months or so, things have been changing...a little early...a little late. I was due on Father's Day. Well, it still hasn't come. Yesterday, I finally bought a test. It was negative, Thank God. I do have a copper IUD, but it is nine years old and the life span is about 10 years.

    A pregnancy for me would be a disaster. Not just because I am nearly 46 years old, but because of my health issues, one of us would likely die in the process. Could we make the decision to abort our own child? Then selfishly, I saw all of my dreams going up in more theater, no singing with a band... I also thought about how I didn't want to have another disabled child. I felt like an awful person...Mostly I was just terrified. My husband was not thrilled about starting over again at 53, but more than that, he was worried about my health.
    Anyway, the upshot is that I am just getting old...I'm not really happy about that either, but I will be glad when hormonal crazy girl leaves forever.

    Don't worry, even after all of the above, I am fine. Billy and I will hit the ground running this morning to order food and buy supplies for his graduation party. Shopping is always fun.
    Last edited by Pebbles67; 06-24-2013 at 05:37 AM.

  2. #6542
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Senior Member
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    Jul 2011
    MA, USA
    [[hugs]] An understandably rough week! I think a lot of us have been there with pregnancy scares, with all kinds of worries. My guess about Billy's subdued behavior is that reality is sinking in. The summer between high school and college was very fun, but a bit surreal to me. I hope his first post high-school summer is great .
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  3. #6543
    demuralist's Avatar
    demuralist is offline Senior Member
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    Aug 2011
    Yep, DS had a bit of time where he was more subdued than normal. Friends who he may never see again, knowing it is a new phase of life, scarey, just like for us. He will fall into the excitement of it soon enough.

    I had a major pregnancy scare at almost exactly your age, but my test gave a false positive! Then TOM started, and after that I did another test and it was negative. But a few weeks of "can we do this again, and how in the world will my health hold up" made it one of the most stressful months of my life.

  4. #6544
    geostump's Avatar
    geostump is offline Senior Member
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    Nov 2010
    Ohio, its not the heart of it all
    I remember a bit of surrealism after high school graduation. You're an adult, yet you're still living with the parents. It was a bit odd to say the least.

    Pregnancy scares are the worst. I still have freak out moments even though Clint has been snipped and I had the ablation last year. I couldn't imagine being pregnant at my age now. I am still honestly surprised mom went through with my pregnancy when she was 40. I can definitely understand your apprehension with it. Glad it was just a scare.

  5. #6545
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    tomi is offline Senior Member
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    Dec 2011
    Pacific NW
    Oh those pre-menopausal pregnancy scares........... eeeesh!! I was your age when my periods started doing weird things. I'd skip a period every 6 months for 2 years - then I'd skip one every 3 months for 2 years - then they just stopped. Sure glad to hear it was a happy outcome.

    Likely Billy will go through some ups and downs for next year as he's figuring out this new phase of life. Its a big transition. Will he be living at home still?
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  6. #6546
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    HelenLouise is offline Senior Member
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    Aug 2012
    Perth, Australia
    Wow what a weekend!! Glad it was just a scare. Even at the age of 36 I think if freak out if I fell pregnant again!

  7. #6547
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    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
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    Mar 2012
    Yep, pregnancy scares... know them all too well. Glad you got the answer you were hoping for.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)

  8. #6548
    canio6's Avatar
    canio6 Guest
    Hmm...scary indeed. Glad things are all clear on that front

  9. #6549
    athomeontherange's Avatar
    athomeontherange is offline Senior Member
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    Jul 2011
    It sounds like the weekend was good with the exception on W30. Glad to know we can go through W30 together in July as well. Have fun shopping and planning Billy's party.

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    What am I doing? Depends on the day.

  10. #6550
    PrimalLaurie's Avatar
    PrimalLaurie is offline Member
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    Sep 2012
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    Hi Pebbles,

    I'm newish to the boards (been lurking once in a blue moon for a long time), but have finally decided to I need accountability and have decided to make sure to read some journals and post in my own every day. Hope it is okay that yours is one I picked since I related to you!

    I read a huge portion of your journal last night and you are a great inspiration. I struggle with binges like you, but mine seem to be tied to exhaustion and eating wheat and sugar, though not necessarily in huge portions (I have celiac so I am really really harming myself).

    Your ability to keep picking yourself up and taking another three steps forward is amazing! Looking at so much of your journal I could really see all the progress you've made.

    Glad to hear you are NOT pg - I'm 39 and I would flip! I can't imagine having one graduation from high school and being pg at the same time

    GAPS/Primal - Working on Getting Healthy!

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