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Thread: The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page 646

  1. #6451
    athomeontherange's Avatar
    athomeontherange is online now Senior Member
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    been tiptoeing on the whole30 website...I am thinking this will help clean up my eating which has been horrid and I can still do UD/DD..
    Karin


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    What am I doing? Depends on the day.

  2. #6452
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    Sweet, lovely, stressed the fuck out Pebbles! I thought of you often and wondered how my fellow amazon is doing.

    The best teaching and mantra my therapist gave me was "Everyone is responsible for their own thoughts, feelings, and actions."

    I think you take shit on that isn't yours and your hubs helps you by handing you his entire wardrobe. That is how he handles the world, he is lacking skill sets to do otherwise, but he can gain them. Seems to me the main cop out is "I know you are going to leave me, so I am going to treat you like shit until you do." That shit is emotional manipulation and bullying.

    I am a recovering asshole like your man. Do him a favor and hold him to a higher standard. His behavior is unacceptable and is killing him too. My hubs looks me in the face and says "I understand you wanted it to be this way, but you can't control and stifle me, and it isn't fair to be hateful towards me to vent your anxiety." I don't always like it, but I am becoming a more emotionally stable, free, and intimate with others. I don't have to prickle to run people off so that I can say to myself, see, you aren't good enough, everyone leaves me. That shit is ultimately a child's reaction to the world and does not allow me to experience myself and others fully and happily. I am happier now that my hubs calls me on it with love and compassion and allows me to live a better life with less fit throwing when I don't get my way.

    P.S. I got myself this ebook, Losing Control Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control Hurts Us And How to Let It Go (Volume 1): Daniel A. Miller: 9780982893005: Amazon.com: Books.

    I am and I would bet your man is anxious and scared and that is what makes him a task master, control freak who blames everyone else for all his problems. You and your boys are hearing a 10% leak of his inner ass kicking. Compassion and love are about boundaries. It's like a child, you teach them the boundaries of how they treat you and what they can get away with. You are strong enough to help your family with compassionate frankness and communicating clearly the boundaries. I am here if you ever need to ask a control freak what the hell is going through his mind. Love love to you. Keep taking those deep belly breaths and believing in the power of your love!

  3. #6453
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    All of this makes me wonder if K is secretly hating me and plotting my demise on an internet forum somewhere...
    LOL I doubt it.

  4. #6454
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    Quote Originally Posted by athomeontherange View Post
    been tiptoeing on the whole30 website...I am thinking this will help clean up my eating which has been horrid and I can still do UD/DD..
    Karin, I am doing I am doing W30 with ADF (3 fast days). It is working great. I hate to say it, but I am pretty convinced that both dairy and added sweeteners are a problem for me.

    I can tell that am losing weight, but I am really fighting not to weigh. It is the only part of W30 that I have stayed entirely true to so far.

  5. #6455
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    Kymma Thank You for sharing that. I think fear is exactly why he acts this way. He often says that he doesn't want his sons to struggle the way he has.

  6. #6456
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    I made it through the evening without a binge. I danced around my house to disco on Pandora, played with my NOOK, did my exercise and then fell into bed exhausted. Bill slept on the couch. Bummer, I got an undisturbed night of sleep for once.

    The third week of 666 body weight progressions is going well. I haven't progressed to any new exercises yet, but I am getting stronger.

    Today I will finish cleaning and organizing my classroom. My big final exam for 60 of my students is on Monday. One week until my Billy graduates.

  7. #6457
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    Morning P

    Gotta say following your journal is a right bleedin' rollercoaster, can't really add to what's already been said, but can add support, wishes and cockeyed humour at times!

    Having a boogie to disco got to be more fun than a binge, and hopefully you're getting stronger in more ways than one?!

  8. #6458
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    Canio, it does sort of make me wonder what evil thoughts the hubs has about me. I am willing to bet my house he isn't telling anyone about it in any way shape or form. He is a privacy freak, barely admits things to himself, and only answers exactly the question you ask so as not to give too much away! It has taken me 20 years and I still haven't cracked this nut.

  9. #6459
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    Yeah Dave, I never hesitate to put it all out there. Thanks for taking the ride.

  10. #6460
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    On another subject, what exactly is Fitness 666? I checked out the website about a week ago when I had a chance, but barely got a chance to look at it. Can you explain it a little more for me? I'm wanting to get back to working out. I need to kick this fat arse into shape.
    Georgette

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