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Thread: The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page 644

  1. #6431
    geostump's Avatar
    geostump is offline Senior Member
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    I'm not sure how he'd react to this, but have you ever thought about couples/family counseling? Maybe discuss this with him when things are calmer. I'd hate for the boys to resent their dad as they get older and also for you to feel like your a "bummer", because you aren't. I know Clint and I are discussing doing this within the next year. Praying for you and your family.
    Georgette

  2. #6432
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    Re: Counseling. Hubby and I spent a year with a wonderful counselor and it was worth every minute and every penny. I know its costly and time consuming - but its the best investment of your time and money and you would not regret it. That being said - both partners must be in agreement that help is needed and both must be willing to make changes and adjustments for the betterment of the marriage.

    P - I'm sorry you're having to go through this crap! Remember that you have done nothing wrong. Instead of saying "I'm sorry I dissapointed you" ........ say, "I'm sorry you feel dissapointed by my actions" That puts the burden of emotions on HIM where it belongs. He is asking you to step up and be the "front man" for him - to express his wishes. Thats not fair and it shows a weakness on his part. Then....... when you don't "perform" to his expectations he rushes in and takes over - and then blames you for failing him. These are things someone needs to point out to him and he needs to correct his behavior and expectations. Counseling would be a good avenue as long as he is open to seeing his own faults.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  3. #6433
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    <expletives deleted>

    hugs P. Many, many hugs.

  4. #6434
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Eventually, your husband will pull his head out of his ass or suffocate, at this point I could live with either.
    This is all that needs to be said, really...

    But, b/c I'm me and I often speak when it is unnecessary, I am going to speak.

    I don't know your husband and will likely never meet him, but I do not like him one bit. He's bullying you and I don't like it. He's definitely got sand in his crotch about something and he needs to get it figured out and FIXED b/c the way he's treating you is absolutely unacceptable.

    I once told Brad that he will NOT continue to treat me the way he had been treating me (once when he was constantly pissy like Bill is) and that if he continued to do so he could practice putting EX in front of wife b/c I was not going to put up with it. Or maybe I told him to stop treating me like an ex-wife unless he wanted me to become one... either way, same point was made.

    It might be high time to tell Bill something similar b/c maybe he doesn't realize that he's being so mean and brash and hard to get along with b/c (no offense to the wonderful men here), he's a man and doesn't think like us.

    Or ask him if he'd tolerate a man treating his mother like that - or treating his daughter like that, had he had a daughter (I can use both on Brad).

    Anyhow, hugs to you. From reading my journal you know I have a difficult one too, so I know what you're dealing with. Lots of hugs and words of encouragement to you.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  5. #6435
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenn26point2 View Post
    This is all that needs to be said, really...

    But, b/c I'm me and I often speak when it is unnecessary, I am going to speak.

    I don't know your husband and will likely never meet him, but I do not like him one bit. He's bullying you and I don't like it. He's definitely got sand in his crotch about something and he needs to get it figured out and FIXED b/c the way he's treating you is absolutely unacceptable.

    I once told Brad that he will NOT continue to treat me the way he had been treating me (once when he was constantly pissy like Bill is) and that if he continued to do so he could practice putting EX in front of wife b/c I was not going to put up with it. Or maybe I told him to stop treating me like an ex-wife unless he wanted me to become one... either way, same point was made.

    It might be high time to tell Bill something similar b/c maybe he doesn't realize that he's being so mean and brash and hard to get along with b/c (no offense to the wonderful men here), he's a man and doesn't think like us.

    Or ask him if he'd tolerate a man treating his mother like that - or treating his daughter like that, had he had a daughter (I can use both on Brad).

    Anyhow, hugs to you. From reading my journal you know I have a difficult one too, so I know what you're dealing with. Lots of hugs and words of encouragement to you.
    This is what I wanted to say, but I think I said it in a kinder gentler way.
    Georgette

  6. #6436
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    Thank you for all the love and advice. I think because it is high hormones week, I will hold off on posting much more about us. Unless something new happens. I have read and am thinking about everything you have written.

    I feel really sad right now. I will fight the binge urge the best I can tonight, do my exercises and go to bed early.

  7. #6437
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    Paula -- remember that a binge is not a reward or a pleasure - but a punishment to yourself. You deserve to be treated like the wonderful kind person you are............ be good to yourself.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  8. #6438
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    Quote Originally Posted by geostump View Post
    This is what I wanted to say, but I think I said it in a kinder gentler way.
    Yes, Jenn said pretty much what I wanted to say but had to delete so that Tomi's eyes didn't start to bleed if she read it


    Quote Originally Posted by tomi View Post
    You deserve to be treated like the wonderful kind person you are............ be good to yourself.
    Very well said.

  9. #6439
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Yes, Jenn said pretty much what I wanted to say but had to delete so that Tomi's eyes didn't start to bleed if she read it




    Very well said.
    Mine was the customer service friendly version of Jenn's response.
    Georgette

  10. #6440
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    A binge has often been a point of rebellion (an F U if you will) towards my husband often when I feel helpless against his anger.
    Yes. I realize it doesn't hurt anyone but me.

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