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Thread: The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page 571

  1. #5701
    tomi's Avatar
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    I'm sure you are done with the call back by now............ hope it went well!
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

  2. #5702
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    Sometimes we are legends in our own minds...

    I went to the call backs and was seriously out-gunned by women who have extreme operatic voices and are confident in auditions. I was cut within 15 minutes of arriving. I feel like a fool. I have a nice voice and I am great once I am in a show, but the audition process is hard on me. I can't believe that I actually thought I was in the running for the lead. How stupid.

    I got too invested in this and am really hurting right now. I got smashed in the face by reality.

    Hairspray auditions are this Friday. I may go just to try and regain some confidence.

    Am I binging? You bet! I don't know if I can even face work tomorrow. Shit!

  3. #5703
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    OH.............. I'm so sorry. Put it behind you and look for other parts to fill your love of theater! Don't let this one disappointment shake your confidence.

    {hugs}
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

  4. #5704
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    I showed my sweet hubby your pic from a few pages back, and he said, she should get any part, she looks like a movie star!
    Stay positive, sweetie; you've chosen a hobby full of joy AND heartaches. Big hug

  5. #5705
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    Hugs

  6. #5706
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    I wonder...

    I would invite you to put the food down for a moment. Drink a little water. Wash your hands & face. Then ask yourself, without criticism, what can you do differently for Friday?
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  7. #5707
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    Considering the tragedy in Boston, my little foibles are meaningless. Prayers for the families of the victims.

  8. #5708
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    About yesterday, My binge was only about 2 hrs long. I ate 1 large bag of bbq potato chips, 1 pint of ice cream and a 2 cup serving of cereal and milk before I stopped due to extreme fullness. The question is whether I will eat well today or badly. I went to bed with the intention of getting up and going to school, but my sleep was very erratic and I had a panic attack in the middle of the night due to the sugar. These are terrifying. I wake with my heart pounding and when I jump out of bed, I can't walk because my entire body is numb. Then I get the sense of impending doom, as if I am dying.

    So, today I will stay home and try to get my head on straight. Unfortunately, I have now mentally gone the other direction. (Telling myself I am an idiot who has no talent.)

    The truth is that I tried to go swim in a big pond and got knocked out by professionals. There is no shame in that. I just need to be less naive. I have not paid for professional voice and acting lessons. I do not have a lot of audition experience, so the fear gets to me. The thing that hurts is that I did not see it coming.

    Today, I will watch Hairspray, prepare my acting resume / head shot (odd that GSP wants one and RPA did not) and work on an audition song. I was very prepared for the audition yesterday. I knew all of my character's songs and had read the script, but they weeded us out with an obscure musical piece that we had to learn on the fly. Not my forte. I can be no more prepared than I was for J & H, but I can be less naive and guard my heart better.

  9. #5709
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pebbles67 View Post
    About yesterday, My binge was only about 2 hrs long. I ate 1 large bag of bbq potato chips, 1 pint of ice cream and a 2 cup serving of cereal and milk before I stopped due to extreme fullness. The question is whether I will eat well today or badly. I went to bed with the intention of getting up and going to school, but my sleep was very erratic and I had a panic attack in the middle of the night due to the sugar. These are terrifying. I wake with my heart pounding and when I jump out of bed, I can't walk because my entire body is numb. Then I get the sense of impending doom, as if I am dying.

    So, today I will stay home and try to get my head on straight. Unfortunately, I have now mentally gone the other direction. (Telling myself I am an idiot who has no talent.)

    The truth is that I tried to go swim in a big pond and got knocked out by professionals. There is no shame in that. I just need to be less naive. I have not paid for professional voice and acting lessons. I do not have a lot of audition experience, so the fear gets to me. The thing that hurts is that I did not see it coming.

    Today, I will watch Hairspray, prepare my acting resume / head shot (odd that GSP wants one and RPA did not) and work on an audition song. I was very prepared for the audition yesterday. I knew all of my character's songs and had read the script, but they weeded us out with an obscure musical piece that we had to learn on the fly. Not my forte. I can be no more prepared than I was for J & H, but I can be less naive and guard my heart better.
    Sometimes those big fish in those big ponds have very sharp teeth and can cut through the thickest of skins. The good thing about those leasons is the skin gets a little thicker and you are a little better prepared for your next trip in to the big pond. Some day, you will be the big fish in the big pond.... just keep swiming!

  10. #5710
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    about the bingeing.

    But not about the audition. You're great(I've seen the clips). There is no shame if someone else is better or more what the director wants. And the only way you get better is by getting out there and DOING it. Which you are.

    Emotions rise up and get us, but I'm glad it passed quickly and you are back on track.

    Today you will eat well. You will cosset your body (bath? manicure? massage? facial? long slow walk? some crazy nude dancing and singing?) and be feeling great by the afternoon.

    Hugs, Pebbles.

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