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Thread: The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page 493

  1. #4921
    athomeontherange's Avatar
    athomeontherange is online now Senior Member
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  2. #4922
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    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    Paula, I hate to be the devil's advocate here, but maybe you do need the occasional carb refeed scheduled in, because of the aforementioned issues. Not the husband problems, but the ones you mentioned in the same breath as LCHF. Maybe have one scheduled every x days, so that it's not a binge or anything negative, but simply part of your routine. Maybe if it's structured like that, ti won't lead to binging?
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
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  3. #4923
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    Have you ever felt trapped?

    I can't see a clear path out of anything.

    When I think of spending the rest of my life with this particular incarnation of my husband I want to run away or have an affair.
    It kind of feels like a binge building and it scares me. What, am I going to run out and Fuck random guys or worse am I going to start something with someone I actually care about? I can't even express my anger properly. The last time I blew up at him, I said something very hurtful. I'm just so overwhelmed by the difficulties of our life and his demands. We have financial difficulties because he under earns and we overspend. I have to be the ogre that always says "No". He puts so much pressure on our kids that they don't think they can please him. How can I spend the next 30 years with someone I don't even like?

    Then there is my shit. Yes HFLC made it possible for me to not binge for 25 days, but really I am not sure if the weight loss factor will be there. I started at 235 in December. My low in early Feb was 229. The rest of the weight I lost was repeated binge bloat. The weight loss is important to me.
    I had great weight loss success and felt great on "The Schwarzbein Principal" Macros 50/25/25 ish, but only stayed clean about 2 weeks at a time. What is the solution? I'm tired of trying to find out. I wanted HFLC to be THE answer, but I can't say that that is the case.

  4. #4924
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    I know weight loss is important. That can't be denied. But I think you are going to have to put your emotional and physical well-being first. Weight loss may be tied in to physical well-being, but what good is being thin if you're unhappy? You can't work on one without the other. I would prioritize emotional health & see how you can fit a nutrition plan to that.

    Not being able to express oneself, seeing no solutions... I know those feelings all too well, P. Sometimes it helps to make a mini escape for yourself, something healthy & safe, so that you don't take the worse options. Can you go for a walk today? Do some loud singing & yelling outside? Then come inside, have some tea, and watch something trashy.

    It's snowing a bit down here. 2-3" and I think it's still coming down, but hard to tell with the wind. Hope you are safe up there.

    P.S. Hope you are still working on being hydrated!
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  5. #4925
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    Well, if you lost weight and felt great on Schwarzbein then that seems to be the way to go, with the caveat that the binges need to stop. The binges are the problem; getting rid of them is the solution. I know jack about eating disorders, but yours seem (from reading) to be mainly stress triggered. You need to eliminate the stress. Can you fix your husband overnight? No, but you can fix some situations - you go out, he leaves you, you binge. No. You are an intelligent, attractive woman. Find a dude and dance. I don't mean sleep with him, but dance a bit. If your husband has one ounce of testosterone he will come over to find out wtf is up. Just tell him you wanted to dance, preferably with him, though since he was busy you were warming up. Not being introduced? Fine, stick out your hand and say, "Hi, I am Paula." It makes your husband look like an ass and hopefully he gets the message to do it himself.

    For the rest, sit down with him or write it out if you need to to avoid explosions, and say look: We make X money. We can't spend Y. We need to figure out how to fix it. Also, the boys are boys. They will achieve Blah. Leave them the f*ck alone unless they are doing something dangerous (dropping out of school, getting into crime, etc) or better yet, talk to them and give them advice. (the kid stuff was for you to say to hubby not directed at you).

    TL;DR eat the way that works. Eliminate stress and thus binges.

  6. #4926
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    Thanks as usual for the advice.

    I should not have written the above. I must be crazy. My husband came home all sweet and loving. No clue that his wife is trashing him on her journal. Maybe it's just me.

    Sorry, Everyone.

  7. #4927
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    it is safer to let it out than to keep it in, even if it is just a burst of irritation that passes before we all finish giving our advice. You should not apologize for what you write in your journal.

    Now, I know that you case and my case re: Dh is different. But, for me when I start to notice on his less than stellar traits I tend not to see his stellar traits, and it has a snowball effect. No one is perfect, so I try really hard to let go of those things that I can't change, and focus on the others. It is a learning and growing process. I have a long way to go.

    Having said that, you have to come to some agreement about your budget. It is a pretty simple math equation. Put it on paper and you both have to stick to it. Then no one is the bad guy, there is no good or bad there is just the math.

  8. #4928
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    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    Pfft. Don't you dare apologize for having emotions and needs. One dose of love does NOT make up for multiple doses of "fuck you." This journal is here for you to be you, warts, anger and all. If you started being suspiciously perfect, I'd call you out on not letting your emotions out in a (relatively) healthy way. These are the letters you write and don't send. You need the release.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  9. #4929
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    Pfft. Don't you dare apologize for having emotions and needs. One dose of love does NOT make up for multiple doses of "fuck you." This journal is here for you to be you, warts, anger and all. If you started being suspiciously perfect, I'd call you out on not letting your emotions out in a (relatively) healthy way. These are the letters you write and don't send. You need the release.
    ^The force is strong with this one.

  10. #4930
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    That's what we're here - friends. And, if it helps to vent it out here, and helps then with dealing with things at home, it is all for the better.

    I know this is going to be unpopular, and I hope you know that I mean it in the spirit of friendship, but like Canio said, the binges have got to be your first priority (which is probably somewhat food related and somewhat stress related -- not an easy "fix"). As an overweight person, who has had to deal with health-related things before the weight could even think about coming off (PCOS, gluten/dairy), I know how frustrating it is when it seems like everyone else just gets to focus on weight loss (and it just seems to melt off of them). But, if you don't address the underlying issues, the weight loss won't stick.

    I hope you have a wonderful rest of the day. Do you get tomorrow off?

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