The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page 493

[Pebbles67]

On a more serious note, My husband is driving me crazy. He obsessively worries about everything, lays it all on me, and then does nothing to fix the problems. I could tell you the whole story, but I have said it all before.
This morning he and the older boys are at the firehouse working a pancake breakfast. Is it bad that I am happy not to have to deal with him this morning?

Food issues - I want to binge over the above. But there are other things wrong as well. I'm in ketosis again, and again I am feeling tired, no desire to do anything , my emotions are flat, maybe I am even a little depressed. Today I decided that this was unacceptable. I have mapped out my food day to include 75g of carb (not including fiber), 95g protein, 65% fat, 2000 calories. In essence, I am trying moderate carb and protein with high fat. I had to bump up my cals to get the 65% fat. if I went to 60% I could eat fewer cals. The result already is that I feel less "down" and I am actually cleaning my house.

Hopefully, I can still get the anti binge value with the happiness factor as well. Not sure if I can claim to be aiming for NK. Dr. Attia eats 4000 cals / day with 200+g carbs, so being NK is not necessarily tied to being under 50 g carb.

[demuralist]

Paula, I think you can reasonably make the argument that with all the exercise that you do your calories should be at least 2000. Not trying to through a fly in the ointment but maybe you could try doing the 2000 calories with percentages that would still allow you to be in ketosis. (or did you? I am horrible at percentages) 65%/20%/15% or 70%/20%/10% even. I sort of feel like it is the fat that keeps you out of binging and that you turn to carbs which seems to start a trend.

[athomeontherange]

I was noticing that about the fat as well. You did so well keeping the binges at bay with high fat.

[canio6]

Paula, I think you can reasonably make the argument that with all the exercise that you do your calories should be at least 2000. Not trying to through a fly in the ointment but maybe you could try doing the 2000 calories with percentages that would still allow you to be in ketosis. (or did you? I am horrible at percentages) 65%/20%/15% or 70%/20%/10% even. I sort of feel like it is the fat that keeps you out of binging and that you turn to carbs which seems to start a trend.

I agree with this. You seemed to be doing really well on LCHF. Then again, I think part of it was that you were locked in, confident, and putting your success forefront. You seem to be sliding back into stress (ie. husband issues), and while I am the last person to talk to anyone about stress, seriously P, focus on you. Let your husband's issues be his for a while. He's a big boy; he'll live.

[demuralist]

^ this, you seem to be "talking" in a different voice than the one I heard during the 25 days of binge freeness

[athomeontherange]

Yes. Kinda worried Chicka!

[naiadknight]

Paula, I hate to be the devil's advocate here, but maybe you do need the occasional carb refeed scheduled in, because of the aforementioned issues. Not the husband problems, but the ones you mentioned in the same breath as LCHF. Maybe have one scheduled every x days, so that it's not a binge or anything negative, but simply part of your routine. Maybe if it's structured like that, ti won't lead to binging?

[Pebbles67]

Have you ever felt trapped?

I can't see a clear path out of anything.

When I think of spending the rest of my life with this particular incarnation of my husband I want to run away or have an affair.
It kind of feels like a binge building and it scares me. What, am I going to run out and Fuck random guys or worse am I going to start something with someone I actually care about? I can't even express my anger properly. The last time I blew up at him, I said something very hurtful. I'm just so overwhelmed by the difficulties of our life and his demands. We have financial difficulties because he under earns and we overspend. I have to be the ogre that always says "No". He puts so much pressure on our kids that they don't think they can please him. How can I spend the next 30 years with someone I don't even like?

Then there is my shit. Yes HFLC made it possible for me to not binge for 25 days, but really I am not sure if the weight loss factor will be there. I started at 235 in December. My low in early Feb was 229. The rest of the weight I lost was repeated binge bloat. The weight loss is important to me.
I had great weight loss success and felt great on "The Schwarzbein Principal" Macros 50/25/25 ish, but only stayed clean about 2 weeks at a time. What is the solution? I'm tired of trying to find out. I wanted HFLC to be THE answer, but I can't say that that is the case.

[namelesswonder]

I know weight loss is important. That can't be denied. But I think you are going to have to put your emotional and physical well-being first. Weight loss may be tied in to physical well-being, but what good is being thin if you're unhappy? You can't work on one without the other. I would prioritize emotional health & see how you can fit a nutrition plan to that.

Not being able to express oneself, seeing no solutions... I know those feelings all too well, P. Sometimes it helps to make a mini escape for yourself, something healthy & safe, so that you don't take the worse options. Can you go for a walk today? Do some loud singing & yelling outside? Then come inside, have some tea, and watch something trashy.

It's snowing a bit down here. 2-3" and I think it's still coming down, but hard to tell with the wind. Hope you are safe up there.

P.S. Hope you are still working on being hydrated!

[canio6]

Well, if you lost weight and felt great on Schwarzbein then that seems to be the way to go, with the caveat that the binges need to stop. The binges are the problem; getting rid of them is the solution. I know jack about eating disorders, but yours seem (from reading) to be mainly stress triggered. You need to eliminate the stress. Can you fix your husband overnight? No, but you can fix some situations - you go out, he leaves you, you binge. No. You are an intelligent, attractive woman. Find a dude and dance. I don't mean sleep with him, but dance a bit. If your husband has one ounce of testosterone he will come over to find out wtf is up. Just tell him you wanted to dance, preferably with him, though since he was busy you were warming up. Not being introduced? Fine, stick out your hand and say, "Hi, I am Paula." It makes your husband look like an ass and hopefully he gets the message to do it himself.

For the rest, sit down with him or write it out if you need to to avoid explosions, and say look: We make X money. We can't spend Y. We need to figure out how to fix it. Also, the boys are boys. They will achieve Blah. Leave them the f*ck alone unless they are doing something dangerous (dropping out of school, getting into crime, etc) or better yet, talk to them and give them advice. (the kid stuff was for you to say to hubby not directed at you).

TL;DR eat the way that works. Eliminate stress and thus binges.