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  1. #4801
    demuralist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pebbles67 View Post
    2 binges and one permissive eating day, but I'm right in the middle of it, so I can't tell how many more there will be. Yes, it is better and I could live with three binges a month, except that I will make no weightloss progress that way.

    Here is the truth of the last two months so that you all understand why I downplay my January weight loss. I started EMF in early December at about 242. I was down to 235 on xmas eve. 8 Day holiday binge fest. Jan 1st 247.5 lbs. Got down to 233.
    Jan. 12-15 binge, back up to 242. Clean until Feb 10. Got down to 228.8. Today 234.

    It seems like a hopeless situation for weightloss, but at least I eat healthier most days of the month.
    Paula, maybe instead of focusing on the up side numbers you should be looking at the down side numbers, yes they are up and down but there is still a downward trend right? Maybe you need to graph your weights (especially if you are weighing daily) on graph paper that has very tiny squares. It will makes the fluctuations seem smaller and still show your downward trend. Cause isn't even 234 lower than you were all of last year?

  2. #4802
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    Thanks for all the cheerleading. I didn't mean to start something, again. (Geez, this journal must read like "Uh Oh!, Paula's is having a binge cycle again, Crap! Paula's husband is being an asshat again, Hurray! Paula is feeling sexy again and posting innappropriate shit...)

    I am just beginning to accept that this is the way it is. Just accepting, Not trying to be negative and I will continue to fight the good fight.

    NB, Thanks for the positives. Yes, things are certainly better than in 2010, but still not good enough for optimal health as I am facing a parental history of cancer, stroke/aneurysm, heart disease, diabetes etc plus my own clotting disorder.

    Chris, 230 was my average wt for last year. High 248 Low 213.

  3. #4803
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    We just love you and want to make sure you are bombarded by care & affection just in case you need it .
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  4. #4804
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    well, rats, nevermind

  5. #4805
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    Quote Originally Posted by demuralist View Post
    well, rats, nevermind
    However, there is a downward trend right now, as long as this binge doesn't last much longer.

  6. #4806
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    my loss was totally flatlined the last year and a half, it may not be since I started EMF, but one thing for sure EMF has been the best I have ever felt while watching what I was eating/dieting. I firmly believe that every thing we go through has a survival reason, that our bodies know what they need, and I think if you had gone straight to your goal weight doing Primal without going through the trials of the past months, you would not have gone through the learning process that will permanently end uncontrolled binging for you.

  7. #4807
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    Hi Paula, I am realigning my diet after a binge fest last week. I went up 10-11, down 5 in 2 days of somewhat clean eating. As a binger, who yo-yos on the scale, I have realized I may binge eat off an on for the rest of my life. That I have to practice EXTREME self care in order to not head back into sugar addiction, bingeland. And that I am gaining one thing I never had before, MINDFULNESS. At least I know when I am binging, that I need to realign with my spirit, that I need to experiment to figure out what is going on with my mind that is leading to this.

    I know we will learn more about coping and ourselves, it may take a while to get our weights down, but we will have battled many a demon and can meet them head on.

    I don't know about you, but something about this area of weight around 225-230 is creating a barrier for me. I am going for a check in with my therapist this afternoon and may do some digging into my feelings around this weight. I sabotage every time I almost get under 220, and also again at around 205. I need to spend some time with it.

    I know you'll figure it out. Until then, eat some shit that you love.

  8. #4808
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    I came home and practiced my guitar for 30 min. More on that tomorrow.

    I'm off to the gym for cardio kick.

    I did some more permissive eating this afternoon, but I just had dinner and am stopping for the day. Back on tomorrow.

    I asked the hubs to avoid buying candy for V day. I got him a present that he requested...Maybe I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. Or maybe not.

  9. #4809
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    Tease!

  10. #4810
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    Happy Valentine's Day!

    Today is love me, love my husband day. Sadly, I had to take off from work due to car issues. I am spending the morning with my man. After he goes to work it will be time for a chick flick and some pampering. He loved the card. I will wear his other gift later.

    I pushed myself to the limit last night at cardio kick. Every time we did an intense kicking or punching series I imagined that I was beating my eating disorder. My weight is down today. Hoping for clean day #1 . I have a reward system planned. $1 for each clean day. I will put this money towards things on my Amazon wish list. (Thanks for the idea, Sabine.)

    Lately, I have been thinking about what makes me happy. Singing is my bliss. I decided to start practicing guitar again for 30 min a day. My goal is to be able to accompany myself at an open mic night by next summer. This time I plan to work on learning songs rather than the traditional type lessons.
    Last edited by Pebbles67; 02-14-2013 at 05:35 AM.

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