Wow. Your husband and mine could have gone to the same charm school. There were years in our marriage that I questioned whether I wanted to be treated like this for the rest of my life when he treated me like that. His was not so much prepping me beforehand but tearing me down afterwards when I thought everything had gone well. It is a horrible way to live and absolutely awful on the self esteem. Just remember, it is HIM with a problem, not you. Always, always, always believe in yourself!
Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.