Well I have to confess that my no binge streak ended at 25 days. Last night I really tried to eat right. Bill insisted that we eat before the party, so we stopped at our favorite Chinese restaurant. We ordered a few things that looked ok, but turned out to be dumplings. Bill insisted that I eat something and that it was all good quality food and wouldn't hurt me. In my mind I said "Oh what the heck". There was food at the party too including pulled pork sandwiches, wings, pigs in a blanket and some fabulous cupcakes. All of which I ate under the umbrella of "Oh F it".
The binge part came when I was abandoned at the table. I ate another cupcake in secret. Then when we got home I was still upset at my husband so I ate more.
I feel sick today and am up 4 pounds of water weight, which I deserve. Back to EMF today.
I guess I had better explain...The date night started out with my husband, who had not slept well the night before, having an arguement with two of our sons. I was just getting out of the shower and tried to cool things down, but my interference just made him mad at me. He yelled from the living room, "I should just go by myself so I can have fun." I yelled back "Go Ahead." but continued to get ready anyway. He later apologized to our sons, but I was not sure if I was welcome. Things eased up over drinks and appetizers at the Chinese place.
Bill always gives me instructions about what I can and cannot talk about at parties. I guess once I embarassed him by telling someone that he had been a hair dresser. He gave me my instructions before we got there. So of course that made me feel as if he is embarrassed to be with me.
Maybe I should have given him instructions on how to introduce one's wife to people whom she does not know and how not to leave one's wife sitting alone at a table looking like a fool.
Yeah, so we danced for about 15 minutes, but all in all it was a pretty bad night.
On the way home, I let him know that I expected to be introduced to people in the future.
As usual, He was all apologetic and lovey dovey when we got home. I couldn't wait to go to sleep.
Sorry, as you all know, this is my venting place.
I often just don't feel "cherished" by him. I feel as if I am going to pay the rest of my life for previously being a " fat, useless, embarassment" to him. He is one of those people that never lets go of things. This is why I sometimes have fantasies about being with someone else. Someone with whom there is no past...