How are you typing and dancing
How are you typing and dancing
"We are what we repeatedly do, excellence then is not an act, but a habit"
My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html
My "Program": doing my version of a 5:2 fast diet with real food.
We took a break so Bill could hit the bathroom. We are home now.
Well I have to confess that my no binge streak ended at 25 days. Last night I really tried to eat right. Bill insisted that we eat before the party, so we stopped at our favorite Chinese restaurant. We ordered a few things that looked ok, but turned out to be dumplings. Bill insisted that I eat something and that it was all good quality food and wouldn't hurt me. In my mind I said "Oh what the heck". There was food at the party too including pulled pork sandwiches, wings, pigs in a blanket and some fabulous cupcakes. All of which I ate under the umbrella of "Oh F it".
The binge part came when I was abandoned at the table. I ate another cupcake in secret. Then when we got home I was still upset at my husband so I ate more.
I feel sick today and am up 4 pounds of water weight, which I deserve. Back to EMF today.
I guess I had better explain...The date night started out with my husband, who had not slept well the night before, having an arguement with two of our sons. I was just getting out of the shower and tried to cool things down, but my interference just made him mad at me. He yelled from the living room, "I should just go by myself so I can have fun." I yelled back "Go Ahead." but continued to get ready anyway. He later apologized to our sons, but I was not sure if I was welcome. Things eased up over drinks and appetizers at the Chinese place.
Bill always gives me instructions about what I can and cannot talk about at parties. I guess once I embarassed him by telling someone that he had been a hair dresser. He gave me my instructions before we got there. So of course that made me feel as if he is embarrassed to be with me.
Maybe I should have given him instructions on how to introduce one's wife to people whom she does not know and how not to leave one's wife sitting alone at a table looking like a fool.
Yeah, so we danced for about 15 minutes, but all in all it was a pretty bad night.
On the way home, I let him know that I expected to be introduced to people in the future.
As usual, He was all apologetic and lovey dovey when we got home. I couldn't wait to go to sleep.
Sorry, as you all know, this is my venting place.
I often just don't feel "cherished" by him. I feel as if I am going to pay the rest of my life for previously being a " fat, useless, embarassment" to him. He is one of those people that never lets go of things. This is why I sometimes have fantasies about being with someone else. Someone with whom there is no past...
Last edited by Pebbles67; 02-11-2013 at 04:34 AM.
Dealing with the Exhaustion
I read through all of your recommendations.
I Have been taking a Super B complex for the last 2 years that includes 100mcg of B12 (1600%rda), I guess I will move my iron pills to late afternoon. I have too much coffee, eggs and dairy through lunch.
I will have my doctor test for anemia and b12 issues.
I take 50 mg 5htp for serotonin. I may add a second pill in the afternoon with the iron.
I will strive to work my water intake back up to 64oz minimum. Aiming for 100oz. I will also try to cut coffee consumption as it has replaced water.
I plan to have a double bouillon daily for a while. Some of the water weight this morning, may be due to that.
Last edited by Pebbles67; 02-11-2013 at 04:38 AM.
This is rough. I'm sorry your streak ended, but still very impressed that you made it through your period with no binges. That's a great victory.
A husband-binge, that's harder to guard against. I don't know what I would do in a situation like yours, but I know what I want to do to your husband, that's for sure. Grrr. It does not sound like he was using his nice-human behavior last night. We're often told we have to be responsible for our own emotions and behavior, but it can be hard to manage when someone is attacking us like that. (yes, attacks. I count five : saying he should go alone, food sabotage, expectation of 'obedience', abandonment, mis-placed affection to control).
Perhaps a binge was the only form of self-defense possible last night, but I hope it gets better/easier today. Thinking of you, Pebbles.
Thanks Sabine, You really have a lovely way of synthesizing the issues. Your response made me cry.
Good thing I don't have to leave for school yet. We have a 2 hr delay for sleet.
Funny, I am not really upset about the binge. It felt inevitable and necessary. I will get past this binge as usual and continue on the lchf path.
Well, today my school district is the first to close. We are having some sleet that is supposed to end by midday, but it will be too late to be safe for the buses. Now I am glad that we did not take the whole day off on Friday.
I really needed today off. I am a physical and emotional mess. Thank God. (and the Superintendent)
Hugs P. Sorry things did not go well at the party. You definitely deserve better treatment than that. How the frack can he be embarrassed by a hot primal wife, who has kept a job for years, raised some great kids, is sexy as hell, and puts up with his dumbass? He is embarrassed because he used to be a hairdresser? Tell him to grow a set and get over it. It's not like he did gay porn (not that there is anything wrong with that).
Well, no, don't tell him that as it wont help and will probably cause him to get defensive and moody. However, I would let him know in no-uncertain terms that you are his wife, the mother of his children, and for much of your marriage the reason he has food to eat and a roof over his head. Given all of that you expect to be respected, treated well, and given your due - your due being that he is proud of what you have done not nursing some grudge like a 3 year old.
F*cking asshat husbands making us all look bad.
"I need large pieces of dead cow to be happy." - skink531
"You truly are delusional and other forms of insanity apply go you. You aren't even interesting." - oceangrl