Currently my comfortable average carb number is about 25g, I can go lower but not every day, not yet, not that I want to. I like your idea of having a different set of goals for TOM and non-TOM. Knowing yourself well enough to know that some days you need to go high and some days you can afford to go low.
I feel certain you will feel better once you work through your action items. I am working at not putting these sorts of things off, doing them the moment they reach the forefront of my worry system, so that the stress will be as short lived as possible.