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Thread: The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page 461

  1. #4601
    geostump's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by honeybuns View Post
    I agree with sending them a card now. Not only will it let them know someone is still thinking of the daughter, as they are, it will remove that from your brain. When my sister died at 4, tons and tons of cards came that first week. After that, nothing. It was like no one but us remembered her and the pain of losing her wasn't a real thing. Better that they know it wasn't just dismissed.
    I agree with this.

    In regards to everything else, just take it one day at at a time. That is all you can do.
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  2. #4602
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    I agree on the card issue. You don't need to make any excuses, and it's okay to be angry with yourself. Now is a good time to move forward and act anyway.

    Your son's admission makes me wonder how much that might have been playing into his depression lately. I am glad he felt comfortable enough with you to share that with you, says a lot about what an awesome mom you are! I think it's perfectly reasonable to worry for him, when the world is not always so accepting of folks who are "out of the ordinary". If he's willing to talk more, just asking him questions about how he's feeling, if there's somebody he likes etc. will probably mean a lot to him. You do not seem to me like someone who would make him feel accused of some wrong-doing.
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  3. #4603
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    Quote Originally Posted by demuralist View Post
    Never too late to send a card. Just ignore that you never sent one and send one saying you think about them a lot and how hard the loss must be for them.

    Quote Originally Posted by honeybuns View Post
    I agree with sending them a card now. Not only will it let them know someone is still thinking of the daughter, as they are, it will remove that from your brain. When my sister died at 4, tons and tons of cards came that first week. After that, nothing. It was like no one but us remembered her and the pain of losing her wasn't a real thing. Better that they know it wasn't just dismissed.
    I think these are both excellent ideas. It will bring peace you your mind and like HB said, it'll tell the family that someone else is still missing their daughter too.



    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    I am glad he felt comfortable enough with you to share that with you, says a lot about what an awesome mom you are!
    I think your son's coming to you with this concern of his speaks volumes about your mothering ability! I hope someday if my kids feel this way, they feel comfortable coming to me about it.
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  4. #4604
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    Yes, send the card. It doesn't hafta be a bereavement card, even a "thinking of you" card would do wonders you AND them.
    According to my sister, one of the best things you can do for someone who's only recently come out is act normally. Don't make a huge deal of it, but do recognize it when talking about their love life. Don't overexaggerate it and don't gloss over it. Just treat it like you would a straight kid, except with an extra gender.
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  5. #4605
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    I have had the cards for three months. I will fill them out and send them tomorrow. Thanks for the practical advice and the lack of chiding.

    My son is not yet sexually active. He has had one girlfriend. His best friend and a girl I believe he is in love with in many ways terms herself as "Pansexual". Meaning she falls in love with a person not a type or gender. They argued last night because Billy felt she should just declare herself bisexual. It is an interesting situation I told him that now is not a time when he needs to make any decisions about this.

  6. #4606
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    Sounds like cards all around would be good. Regardless of the time of loss, your friend and uncle will appreciate getting one.
    I love you and am honored you can share your feelings with me might be too mushy for your son, but you're his mom; you're allowed to be mushy. And how about a funny one for you, to remind yourself of how great you are!

    And sending the cards will be an action you can perform. Taking action always helps with feelings.

    Maybe the AP has a crush on you! Or maybe he was tired and just want to sit. Or had indigestion and was afraid to get up. Or is gathering method tips to pass on to others. Or just zoned out. Too many possibilities for you to worry that it went badly. So cut it out!

    Just hang in there, Pebbles. Feel sad if you want to, for a little bit. Then--on with it!

  7. #4607
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabine View Post

    Maybe the AP has a crush on you! Or maybe he was tired and just want to sit. Or had indigestion and was afraid to get up. Or is gathering method tips to pass on to others. Or just zoned out. Too many possibilities for you to worry that it went badly. So cut it out!
    OR, maybe he felt it would be rude to get up and leave during the middle of a class (or disruptive) and decided to just sit it out???
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  8. #4608
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    Paula, I am glad you are sending the card. I think they will see this as the accident and they have been on your mind.

    As for the AP issue.. psh.. you are a rock start teacher and you know it. Personal experience, sometimes they stay longer to avoid the office, sometimes they see you are not at your best and stay for support, sometimes they "feel" getting up will distract the class. Its not always a bad thing. Observations are just a snap shot anyway. They KNOW what you are like on a daily basis and they KNOW we teachers are human and have "off" days. Don't borrow trouble.

    I hope the issue with the friends wife is resolved and does not lead to more drama for your already aching school.

    Its great your son has opened up to you. I dont have any recommendations, just remember, parenting is not for the faint hearted.
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  9. #4609
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    I am having a lot of issues come up right now too.

    Could this whole EMF thing be bigger for us than just food? Could it be a whole new way of coping with and feeling int he world?

    You know, I bet your family may not even know you didn't send a card. After a death, things can be so overwhelming. I bet a card from you now would be soooo welcomed.

    As for your son, does he have a therapist? All of my best friends really needed the support during their awakening, it helped them a lot. Just a thought.

  10. #4610
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    I may send "thinking of you" cards instead of the sympathy ones. Good Idea.

    The AP stayed the whole period in the class next door too. Someone said, "maybe he doesn't understand the concept of a walk in".lol I feel better about my teaching today, I had a student teacher from Guatemala observe me. He was so excited and asked if he could come back once a week for a while.

    I told my son last night that I love the nights we go to Fencing Club together because we laugh so much.

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