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Thread: The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page 46

  1. #451
    geostump's Avatar
    geostump is offline Senior Member
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    Definetly praying for you and the boys. Love you.
    Georgette

  2. #452
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    holding you all in a huge hug in my heart.
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
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    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

  3. #453
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    What a precious group of friends you all are.

    We survived the wake. For me is was a lovely time in which my husband and I got to speak to many people who loved my Mom very much. It was hard for my sons. Mom had insisted on an open casket wake and she was right. My 13 year old cried for almost the whole hour that we had with her alone. Then he and my oldest son took care of their baby brother and bravely spoke to visitors about their great love for their Nana. For Kevin it was essential that he be able to see and touch her. He kept running up to the casket and trying to wake her up. He went through the whole range of emotions from laughter thinking she was playing with him to sadness and anger when she would not wake up. It was painful, but it felt right too. It's hard to explain... I think he will come to understand as the weeks pass and he cannot see her.

  4. #454
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    My mom is a big believer in an open casket for this very reason. Sometimes it is a very necessary part of the so long for now process.
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
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    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

  5. #455
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    It sounds like your son had been able to come to terms with her passing. the finality of death is a concept that i have a hard time emotionally coming to grips with. i'm sure an open casket helped.

  6. #456
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    I've only been to two closed casket funerals. One will be 2 years ago this past February for a very close friend who died tragically in a car accident where she went head on into a semi and her body was burnt in the accident. The other one was for a 5 year old girl where the mother couldn't handle seeing her daughter's body after her death. I honestly think the mother would have been better off if they had an open casket.
    Georgette

  7. #457
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    The Memorial Service was beautiful. I especially loved the part where people laughed and cried as they told their favorite stories. I was able to sing my song and talk of my Mother's strong belief in God. I even got the biggest laugh of the day when I talked about the two things my mother taught me.
    I said "First and most importantly, she taught me that Jesus loves me and died for me. Second she told me to get my degree and career in line before I got a man because men can be unreliable...I fear the unreliable man she was referring to was my father." I also said that I was blessed with a degree, a career and a reliable husband. Then, I publicly thanked my husband for saving her life twice 4 years ago so that we had more time to enjoy each other.

    The luncheon was fabulous. It was held at the firehouse near the church. My Mom had asked my husband to do most of the cooking because the church suffered a lot of damage during hurricaine Irene. He made salmon and chicken. There was a funny moment when said I was going to leave my Mother's urn in the car during the meal. The young man from the funeral home just looked at me and waited. I said, "I guess she wouldn't want to miss this". So we put her next to the coffee pot.

    One very sweet thing was that my 13 year old son took possession of her ashes and would not let anyone else carry the urn. He even chose where it should be placed in her apartment for now. He also made a lovely speech during the service while his brothers stood with him.

    All day I sensed that she was pleased, but that her spirit was moving further away from us. When we got home, I put her bedroom back to the way it was before she died, re made her bed and set her picture boards up around her urn. For now I'll leave it that way. I was down there talking to her this morning and asking her if she liked her memorial service, then the lights flickered off and back on.

  8. #458
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    Your mom looks like she was a beautiful woman. Glad to know you both had each other in your lives. Now, you and the boys have an angel.
    Georgette

  9. #459
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pebbles67 View Post
    One very sweet thing was that my 13 year old son took possession of her ashes and would not let anyone else carry the urn. He even chose where it should be placed in her apartment for now. He also made a lovely speech during the service while his brothers stood with him.
    this brought tears to my eyes.

  10. #460
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    oh Paula, sounds very nice. Now take the time you need to grieve, and that way you will be able to help the boys through the process as well.
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
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    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

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