Pebbles, I went and slapped your wee goat in the middle of your journal without reading a thing.....and then I read the last few pages. I am in tears for you right now.
These are hard times, but you will get through this come hell or high water. Firstly thou - you have got to keep strong and well. No point in you getting yourself so low that you are unable to function.
Second - our eldest daughter was diagnosed with ADD at 14. From the age of 2 I would see the Doctor regularly, as I knew that something was just not right. Her inability to understand consequences amoung other things. My Doctor told me several times that I was just a bad mother. DH got a hold of that one, and hasn't ever let it go !!!!!
Anyway when she went away to boarding school other people noticed her odd behaviour, she was referred to counselling, then a psychiatrist, etc.... She was put on ritalin, cos I didn't know any better, but as she got older was using it to keep her weight down. So I insisted that she wasn't prescribed any more.
She is now 27, mother of two, and she worries me terribly at times. Her lack of concentration is appaulling, her demanding attention seeking behaviour frustrating, her inability to finish a task infuriating.
Often ADD and AHDH go hand in hand with depression, which she suffers from. Also anxiety. She takes meds for both.
Is your son on any anti anxiety or antidepresent meds ?
Does he keep a diary - fantastic tool for our daughter
Really prioritize what you are going to chip him on, and stress this to your DH too. You can't be constantly at ADDs, because they don't process half of what you tell them anyway !!!!
A good psycologist will guide you through this trying time as well, but make it a family affair - because everyone needs to be on board.
Our middle DD said to me recently that she used to get so upset because we spent so much time with our eldest DD. We weren't conscious of it at the time, but we ended up spending 80% of our time with 20% of our offspring !!!
The other thing that I find now is sugar affects eldest DD severly. Does your son eat much sugar/processed food/carbs ???
anyway Paula, we are all here for you.
"never let the truth get in the way of a good story "