Geo, That is my fear. Even though he means well, there are things that once said can't be taken back.
FW, thanks for the male perspective. There are lots of things in his life that are making him resentful.
We had a talk tonight that did not go well. How could it? I am in that special time. Emotions are high and control low. He feels exasperated with our sons and feels like I don't support him. (And is overweight and feeling bad and doing nothing about it.)
The argument was about whether Billy would be allowed to attend one of the 4 year SUNY schools if he gets in. Husband said "No I don't want to waste the money." I said that we should give Billy the chance, and told him to stop being so negative. Which went over badly. He often sets an ultimatum and we have to follow it, but not this time. If Billy gets into a 4 yr school, He is going if he wants to.
Then I suggested that he might feel better about everything if he started taking care of himself....He said "You're the last person who should dictate to me" "You've been packing on the pounds lately." I said "So you are going to stay sick and unhappy because I haven't been successful?"
Well, you can imagine the rest.
My reaction to this type of marital strife has always been to eat, because F him the food is MINE.
God please help me not to eat. I want to show him that I can do this.