We also have a tool. I don't use it without him b/c I'm able to take care of business myself in a matter of very short minutes. DH and I are rarely on the same page regarding frequency. I don't feel I need it much, but he disagrees. I know he "takes care of business" in the shower - and I know when b/c he takes a longer shower. I don't care. Eases the pressure on me to give in when I don't really want to.