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Thread: The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page 337

  1. #3361
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    Last edited by Pebbles67; 11-08-2012 at 09:55 AM.

  2. #3362
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    Internet hugs. Nothing helpful to say. Any chance hubby would consider couples counselling? Might be good to have a neutral space to discuss things, where he might be more inclined to keep his cool.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  3. #3363
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    Couples counseling may be possible, when we get more financially stable.
    Paula Primal since 9/24/2010
    "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

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  4. #3364
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    I am afraid I have nothing to add, I am sad that that is true, but feel certain nothing I could possibly say would help you out. I do wish you the very best, I am heartbroken that it is not currently with the hubs, but hope it will turn around soon. In the mean time, flirtations help to keep you feeling human/attractive/sexy not sure taking it further would do the same.

    Any chance there is a minister or some such that could help out? I recently saw this article (I like this blog, lots of interesting stuff) it might help in the interim Free Marriage Counseling: How to Do it Yourself | The Art of Manliness
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
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    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day

  5. #3365
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    Sorry about your hubby troubles. Couples therapy would be a great option. Maybe writing him a note so that you could get across your point and not be mad or pressured while you do it. Another option I would take would be to stop allowing bread and other wheat products in the house. If you know that they effect him and he wants to blame you then let him be mad at you for making him healthier. Sure the kids will throw a fit but they will find plenty of crap to eat outside the house (at least my kids do). This may cause the family to call you a food nazi (mine does or atleast used to) but we are all healthier for it. Sending hugs your way as this real life crap is never fun.

  6. #3366
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mud Flinger View Post
    Another option I would take would be to stop allowing bread and other wheat products in the house.
    I would find a more diplomatic way to phrase this. Speaking as a grown ass man, no one disallows me to do anything in my house whether that be eating bread or what have you. Now, I can be made to see reason if approached the right way but if my wife were to say, "I am not allowing bread into the house," I would ask her where she is moving. (and I don't even eat bread. It is the principle of it)

    (and to be fair, I would never tell my wife, "No more diet coke is allowed in this house" etc. Ultimatums do not good communication make.)

  7. #3367
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    Pebbles, you are very brave to post this, and I think that saying it out loud (well, posting it, you know what I mean) will help you resist doing anything against your values.

    It is completely normal to be attracted to good looking people who are nice to you. And to have struggles even with people you love who are NOT. I think acknowledging the temptation will make it easier to avoid it than trying to pretend you aren't tempted.

    I won't address your husband situation, because you know what's what, and even when you are furious with them, it is another thing entirely to have someone else criticize Your Man (we humans are funny, aren't we?). But I will say: "Grrrr."

    On practical matters, do you do the grocery shopping? If so, you could just stop buying bread, etc. If he wants it that badly, have him get it himself.

    Just let me know if you ever need me to delete something from this (or any other) post in your journal.

    Hugs to you, friend. You know we are all thinking of you. (And in the case of canio, in exciting ways!)
    Last edited by Sabine; 11-07-2012 at 07:37 AM. Reason: left out a vital pronoun

  8. #3368
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    My husband is not a Christian and I am not currently acting like one, so a minister is out. I don't think my husband has any idea of the depth of my pain right now. He thinks things are OK I guess, though we did have a talk a couple of weeks ago.

    The thing that irks me most is that I have never blamed him for things that I could lay at his feet mostly because I know that we are responsible for our own actions.

    When I met my husband, I was a healthy 170lbs. I had been to an eating disorders program and had dealt with my crap and improved my self image. Honestly his perfectionism, impatience and criticism had worn me down to nothing again by the time he hit nursing school. Hence the reason I was 280 lbs and miserable. I ate to spite him or because it was something under my control and I still do, but now my motivation is more about surviving my health issues and being healthy for my kids.

    It would be ridiculous for me to blame him for my being fat as much as it is stupid for him to blame me for his dreams not working out as he wanted.
    Last edited by Pebbles67; 11-07-2012 at 08:03 AM.

  9. #3369
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    1) I don't really worry about what you guys will post. It is my very open post that I worry my husband will read. I needed to vent, but in the end, I don't want to hurt his feelings. I may just excise parts of it, I hate deleting what I have written.

    2) I will never force the bread issue in my household. I may try to make some fermented breads to see if they like them, but that is all. We have made changes to gluten free cereals for example, but that was a family decision after taste testing.

  10. #3370
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    I understand where you come from with your marital issues. This has been a lot of the issues that I've had with my husband over the years. I've had to get to the point where I only care for me and me only and let him worry about himself. He has to want to change.
    Georgette

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