True. Thanks Sabine.
True. Thanks Sabine.
Yesterday evening I made an effort to love on my husband a little. He had been physically and verbally pushing me away all weekend. He was only in the mood late at night and I just didn't have the energy due to TOM.
I gave him a foot rub and sat with him and watched a show about FDR. Then we had a little snuggle time (sorry, TMI) and then watched Homeland together.
He seems to be in a better mood today even though he did not sleep at all last night. He said he couldn't stop "thinking".
Today, we meet with our son's counselor for the debrief. Hopefully, he will say that he only needs to see Billy 1x/month. We've paid $600 to the counselor in the last 2 weeks. We just can't afford it.
Trying to eat well today.
Ouch! Does insurance not cover that kind of thing (meaning, child therapy...or however you would classify that)? I wonder if his school would have a counselling option. I know mine did, though I didn't particularly like the counselors.
Journal on depression/anxiety
Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).
I think we will get reimbursed a percentage.
I loathe Philip Glass. The repetitive nature of his music makes my inner Aspergian want to scream.
Last night, My husband and I fought on the way to see our son's counselor. He said something really nasty. (Why do men do that?). If I said half the shit to him that he says to me, we would be over. For him it was done after the blow up, but my anger and hurt stayed with me. He also put Philip Glass on really loud in the car because he knows how much I hate it.
We had a nice reprieve talking with the counselor. It was clear that Billy had talked about his Dad's temper. The counselor handled it beautifully. He thinks that Billy has a lot of suppressed anger towards his Dad and was able to suggest some ways that Bill could help Billy.
Afterwards, We went to dinner as planned. He was being cute and teasing and I was still feeling upset. Then he wanted sex. So I put out because it was easier than explaining how I was feeling and being the "unforgiving one". I was a damn good actress last night.
Sorry for spewing this crap here. Unlike my husband, I am not willing to say this stuff to his face because It would really hurt him. Maybe things will get better once TOM is over or maybe not.
I have found that once said things linger, so I usually don't say them. If they continue to bother me, I will pick an appropriate time to broach the subject. Of course if you remember anything about my history you know that I have a very hard time picking the appropriate time!
I would say, that it is time for him to grow up and take responsibility for his own successes and failures. He blames you because he doesn't want to do that. But part of being an adult is taking responsibility.
When my son was having some issues, one of the pediatricians in the group had a child psych degree and she saw him, insurance covered it. She got to the crux of the problem very quickly and we all dealt with it and it was over.
Question, when he is being ugly, do you respond in kind? ie, raise your voice and argue back? I tended to spout off early in our marriage then get over it but it would linger with DH, then he started to just let me spew. Once done he would say something like, 'I didn't know you felt that way' in a very calm voice. It always ended the argument and I didn't feel like he had cut me off, although at first it did irritate me that he wouldn't argue back. It slowly taught me to be more mature/civil and now we just don't argue, or raise our voices. We disagree mind you, but it is a conversation now. Much more helpful. The only thing this doesn't work for is when it is in regards to sex. I have not figured out yet how to get him to talk about that.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html
My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.
I think women in general are more cautious about saying stupid, hurtful stuff. Of course, if my husband ever read this part of my journal he would definitely be hurt. I just tend to be more of a coward. If I confront him with anger, I just get more anger or angry silence.
I think I may have some suppressed anger toward my husband as well. Gotta work on that.