The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page 265

[Mud Flinger]

I prefer the mismatched raggety clothes you'd never wear out in public!

[demuralist]

no matter what it is I put on, if I am home and not expecting company I am not wearing a bra!

[naiadknight]

There's a reason you don't just drop by our house unannounced. Ring the doorbell and you're likely to hear: "OH SHIT!" *thudthudthud* as I run to either put a shirt on or hide, and "FUCK!" as Geek rummages around for a shirt. Then the door is answered in a most foul and grumpy mood because we didn't want to deal with people.

[canio6]

There's a reason you don't just drop by our house unannounced. Ring the doorbell and you're likely to hear: "OH SHIT!" *thudthudthud* as I run to either put a shirt on or hide, and "FUCK!" as Geek rummages around for a shirt. Then the door is answered in a most foul and grumpy mood because we didn't want to deal with people.

^This, though I do not generally bother to get dressed. That said, I do generally just peek my head around the door until I see who it is. This saved some girl scouts from being traumatized but does nothing to help those inviting me to certain religious instituitions as once I see it is them I no longer feel the need for modesty.

[naiadknight]

I've freaked out more than one JW like that. If I know it's one or a pair of them, I grab the copy of the Necronomicon we keep as a coffee table book in the 2nd living room and answer the door with "Hey, you're just in time! Did you want to sacrifice the goat to the great Cthulhu or just watch today?" I generally get either the gobsmacked "Uhhh... I'll leave you to that," or the one that completely misses it and says "Have you found Jesus?," which merits the response "Oh, you mean the hamster? Yeah, we just sacrificed him the to Holy Snake of Asgard we keep in the backyard."

[Saoirse]

bwahaha! i'm so plain, i usually say "thanks for your concern, but we're not interested. have a nice day." if they ask if we'll take tracks, i answer sincerely "well, you're welcome to leave them, but they will be deposited straight into the trash can. i know they cost you money to print, so why don't you save them for someone else?" i haven't had many repeats, even on this busy street.

i have a habit of being semi-naked or in my PJs. when the eldest is at home, it's usually PJs, but if he has left for school it's not uncommon for me to lounge around for an hour after my shower before i get dressed. i should pick up a light bathrobe, at least i'd be semi-covered!

[Pebbles67]

Wt. heading back down. 2 clean days in. 1 week on Prozac and starting to notice deeper, better sleep. I just finished TOM, so my sunny disposition is returning.

Eating Primal, but taking a break from food journaling.

The Goddess and the Banzai Tree Yesterday I received two lovely compliments. One of my dancing troupe friends, Peggy, was at the spa where I go to get my facials. I was talking about how hard it is for me to loosen up when dancing. She said, "Paula, I don't think you realize what a natural you are and that you have such charisma that every eye is drawn to you."

After that, during my facial, I told Diane about the binge issue and that I am seeking counseling and taking meds for it. I truly value this woman's opinion and there is something about her that makes people want to spill their guts. In the 3 months that I have known her, I have told her my whole story, especially the recent stuff. Anyway she started telling me that as she saw it, my issues are both physical and psychological and most of all, normal. The most powerful thing she said was, " Everyone in this world has some battle to fight. We are each like a Banzai Tree. Our life experiences tie us up and warp us. At times we all need to work on cutting those bonds to release the beautiful unique person inside." The she told me, "This may seem a little woo,woo, but I want to tell you how I see you. I see in you a powerful Goddess full of wisdom. People are drawn to your beauty, openess and peacefulness." She assured me that she had never said such a thing to anyone else. lol

It feels so weird to me that people feel this way about me and tell me so. In the last two years I have become an open book. The catalyst, of course, was my near death experience. Now, I share my life story, my thoughts and feelings freely. I guess that makes people feel comfortable with me. And I'm really cute too!

Okay, enough ego stroking for one day.

[canio6]

And I'm really cute too!

You're just now figuring this out?

[Mud Flinger]

It feels so weird to me that people feel this way about me and tell me so. In the last two years I have become an open book. The catalyst, of course, was my near death experience. Now, I share my life story, my thoughts and feelings freely. I guess that makes people feel comfortable with me. And I'm really cute too!

Okay, enough ego stroking for one day.

When you share the "real truth" about your life, you become like the velveteen rabbit - a little worn, but oh so loved.

Every one has "stuff" to go through. Some of it is of our own choosing, but much of it seems flung at us out of control. I have come to feel that the "perfect" people who look great, smell great and have all the newest stuff are generaly phonies. Either they are burried in debt and can't breath from that (most are it seems) or their hubby/wife hates them and is cheating or their kids are awful (bullies, etc).

I wonder if much of the "pain" you are experiencing is coming from your inner growth as you become "real" or who you really are both inside and out. If you make a list of your accompishments this past year, I think that even you will have to admit that they are most impressive and that you have grown quite a bit - all while taking excellent care of your family and your students.

Here's something to ponder - Does it hurt for a flower to bloom? Orgasmic? Is it scared? Does it like it's new look? Maybe as you ponder this question, you will find some answers for yourself.

[Pebbles67]

mud flinger Thank You, That was beautiful.



I think that all my life I have been afraid to really be who I am. Whenever I put myself out there, I got way too much notice and couldn't handle it, or I got hurt. I've often thought that I was meant to be in the public eye in some way. Who knows what I might have done if I gained this confidence in my 20's. So now I will be a star in my own little fish bowl and be content.