The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page 260

[honeybuns]

On the agenda today:2 hrs of bellydancing practice.

Love your body, love yourself!

[Pebbles67]

Wt. 227.6 -3.4

Cals 1500. A clean day.

Well, I have news...Yesterday I had my yearly physical. I discussed my binge problem honestly with my doctor. I explained that I am out of control and once I open the door, one treat turns into 3-4 hrs of eating sugar and other carbs until I fall into bed drunk on sugar. A few binges a month has turned into 2-3 days a week. This is especially dangerous because it sets off my hypoglycemia.

The cause is a combination of hormonal change, stress & grief, physical addiction to sugar & wheat (Yes I believe there is an addictive component) and long term compulsive behavior. If you wish, you can read all of the details of my history with food in the first few pages of this journal.

I told her that planned to seek counseling, but wondered if there were any other medical options for me. I cannot take hormones due to a deadly clotting disorder.

Her suggestion was trying an SSRI. I told her that I was concerned about addiction, wt. gain etc. She suggested Prozac. Prozac is used for Premenstral Disphoric Disorder, Bulimia, OCD and Anxiety in addition to Depression. It has fewer side effects than other meds and is easier to get off if I am not happy with the results.

So, as of today, I will be taking 10mg of an antidepressant. That is the lowest dosage. I can't say that I am thrilled about this. It makes me feel like a failure, but in truth I don't see any other way.

With an eye towards helping others, I plan to write about my Prozac adventure here. If you have any experience with SSRIs, positive or negative, please share. (A PM would be fine if you want privacy.)

Thanks.

[Sabine]

I hope this works well for you, Pebbles. I am praying for you. And glad to see you giving an update. I always wonder when i don't see an early morning Pebbles-post. How was the belly dancing?

[demuralist]

I did a year of Prozac about 15 years ago, lowest dose also, in conjunction with another (which I can never remember the name of) for sleep that I took at one tenth of the recommended dose. Had no problems while on them, they did exactly what I needed them to do, and had no trouble getting off of them. My depression started with the surprise death of a favorite uncle. It came at a time when I was particularly stressed (I had just had my second baby, was dealing with the colon cancer diagnosis, the IBD diagnosis and its symptoms, and building a house). The death was the final straw. The meds helped me to recover mentally as I was recovering physically.

Sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

[canio6]

I hope it works out for you

[namelesswonder]

I agree that sometimes you do what you gotta do. I've been on and off SSRI's since I was 15 years old (so about 8 years), tried all kinds including Prozac. I remember most notably that Prozac gave me nightmares. My memory is awful, but overall with any of the SSRI's, I just remember that I did not feel like myself on them. Sure, they suppress the worst emotions, but they also suppressed the best. I didn't feel nearly as happy on them as I do off. Using supplements like 5-HTP and Tyrosine for depression and anxiety has helped, but I'm still struggling to find something to take the edge off to get me through the really rough patches. I believe you've taken 5-HTP before and I wonder if you are taking it regularly because that may help. I really want to read "Primal Body, Primal Mind" as I've heard it has a lot of great info on various supplements for mood disorders (like "The Mood Cure", which I think you may have read, and is what I've based my supplement experiments from).

I'm going to start trying out Tryptophan or St John's Wort next month to see if they make a difference because I don't think 5-HTP is cutting it anymore.

I can tell you that most people DO suffer withdrawal from SSRI's and it can be pretty awful. I was on 10mg and 15mg when I took Prozac, fairly low doses. Every time I came off an SSRI, either reducing the dose or going off it entirely, within 2-3 weeks I'd suffer a really bad bout of depression that lasted a few days. Once you get through that, it's over, but for someone like you, depending on your reaction to the drug, I imagine it could make you feel like having a binge episode. Overall I would encourage you to keep in mind that the "quick" solution (and this may not be, but it depends on how you are looking at it) may not be the best one.

[theprimalcajun]

I wish you all the best Pebbles! My SIL is on Prozac & it has helped her immensely. She hasn't tried getting off of it yet so can't say how that may go. Sometimes going the "natural" route just doesn't cut it. MIL was prescribed Lexapro(?) as its supposed to be very "mild" but of course she refused to take it. Only you & your doc can figure out what is best for you. And nobody says you have to take it forever. I have a prescription for Xanax I got last fall to use if I need it. Haven't taken one yet, but its nice knowing I have it if I need it.

If this helps you thru the rough spot for awhile then so be it! There are so many different things on the market now that if Prozac doesn't work well for you you can try something else...that's what SIL did. Please don't feel like a failure, cause girlfriend you are anything but!!! You are awesome & such a inspiration to so many!!

will be looking forward to hearing how it goes for you!!
{{{hugs}}}

[Gravyboat]

I just remember that I did not feel like myself on them. Sure, they suppress the worst emotions, but they also suppressed the best.

This. I was on it once and felt like a total robot.

Granted, that may be just what you need right now, since it might get rid of the "high" of binging. Or it might make binging more alluring because you just want to feel something. It's impossible to say until you try it.

My experience on it was not good, but I'm also bipolar, and people with bipolar shouldn't take antidepressants. Try it and stay on a low dose and see how it works for you. Go about your life as normal, don't think a lot about the fact that you're taking a drug (or any changes you see might just be psychosomatic), and see what it does on its own. You may find that the people close to you notice changes and you don't. Personally, I tend to have a hard time seeing a difference in myself when I'm on meds because, from my perspective, the WORLD changes and I don't.

[Edit to add] DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT stop taking it cold turkey if you decide you don't like it. DO NOT!!! Whatever bad side effects you are getting that make you want to stop taking it will go the exact opposite way x10 and it will be even worse if you just stop taking it all at once. It might seem like a waste of time, but you HAVE to taper on and off psychiatric meds. Please trust me, because I've ended up in the mental hospital before after stopping a med cold turkey and ended up having the most terrifying experience of my life. Basically, I could not control the speed of my own thoughts, and I had so much energy trapped in my body that I could not stop moving and thought I was going to die. I lifted a weighted psychiatric chair off the floor in some kind of moment of superhuman strength while weeping in terror. So yeah. Just don't do it.

[naiadknight]

I've tried all but the frist gen and latest anti depressants, with mixed results. I hated Levaquin with a damned passion. I was trying to think through cotton fluff and had no energy, not good for an engr student holding down a part time IT job. Welbutrin was great until it started making me more, rather than less, suicidal. There were a handful of others akin to the first antidepressant I was on: I was euphoric for a day, foggy for two weeks, and then it my body learned what it was and it stopped working altogether. I had a doc that wanted to put me on a maintenance dose of some new one and I told him that would just rotate me through the rest of the meds out there in a damn quick hurry, leaving me with nothing medical that would work if I ever REALLY needed it.
Because none of the meds worked for longer than a month, I eventually had to take matters into my own hands (I wouldn't guess this would be applicable for binging, Paula.) I started playing around with different vitamins and supplements based on cravings and how I felt, while trying to deal with my childhood issues on my own (crappy therapist was crappy, not the way I'd wish for even my worst enemy to deal with it.) I'm out the other side (mostly), but I'm still on my selenium supps.
If you do decide to take the meds, and eventually want to go off them, heed Gravyboat's words. Do not take the effects of those drugs lightly. I was able to drop them because they either quit working completely (no effect at all on me) or the world was a better place without them. I've heard horror stories from other friends about going cold turkey on psych meds, and from all I've heard and read, I was one of the lucky ones.

[Pebbles67]

Thanks for all the input guys. I did all of my research in the last 3 months. My Doc had mentioned SSRIs previously during my crisis in February, so I went in prepared to ask questions. I also have an RN on staff (husband) who helped me find quality literature.

I took my first dose this morning and will keep a written record of whatever happens...or doesn't. I have a follow up appt. already booked with my Doc.

So far I have experienced nothing. I felt good, normal all day.

My husband and I had one of our wandering days. We went to a bookstore where I bought 3 paperbacks for $1. I found some "lost ancestor" pics in an Antique mall, and I bought two scarves for my tribal dance turban. I ate 2 meals out and stayed Primal.