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Thread: The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page 228

  1. #2271
    Pebbles67's Avatar
    Pebbles67 is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by demuralist View Post
    Paula, I am wondering if it might not be easier for you to give up one thing at a time? Unless you tend to do them in combination together. I could easily give up fruit again, although not permanently I don't think-the smell at the produce stand draws me to them, but giving up dairy and stevia for me would mean no coffee as I just cannot drink it black.

    Elemiating one at a time would also let you know which is the one giving you problems.
    Yes, I totally get what you are saying. It's just that I am trying to stop the bingeing. When I went for a whole 30 type thing a few months ago, I was able to get in two clean weeks.

  2. #2272
    Sabine's Avatar
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    This is a brave and beautiful post, Pebbles.

  3. #2273
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Paula- I am glad you found the fortitude to share that. Some of that sounds familiar, just a different path. That had to be one of those hard to write/ glad it's out writings.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  4. #2274
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabine View Post
    This is a brave and beautiful post, Pebbles.
    I feel like I ought to be wearing a bumper sticker that says: "Don't follow me I am lost." I am just a seeker like everyone else.

    Justaseeker's Journal:

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  5. #2275
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    I'm really grateful you shared that. know that you are loved. *hugs*

  6. #2276
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    That took a lot of guts to share all of that. It shows a lot of strength on your part. I'm sure with that strength you'll get yourself to where you want to be. It seems like you've already come an long way.
    My blog: My Primal Adventure

    "I've come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubble gum."

  7. #2277
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    theprimalcajun is offline Senior Member
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    1,444 are a brave & beautiful woman on the inside & outside. You will find your "way". We all support you & care about you. You have already come such a long way!!

    Goal: Don't worry be happy!

  8. #2278
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    Quote Originally Posted by geostump View Post
    I sing in the car with the kids to embarrass the hell out of them. That is fun.
    me too

    Wow, your post is really brave, Paula! I can imagine how hard it was for you to write that.
    Last edited by Candy in Wonderland; 04-23-2012 at 03:10 AM.
    My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
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    Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
    Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

  9. #2279
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    Pebbles67 is online now Senior Member
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    Thank You all.

    I just wanted to add a few thoughts. I am not in a bad space mentally. Everything that I wrote yesterday is my history. It doesn't haunt me anymore, but does speak to my lifelong skewed relationship with food and self. Of course, that was just the short version. There is much more to it. If you have any questions or comments about my story, please feel free to PM me.

    I have been very successful in the Primal lifestyle, but lingering issues still wreak havoc. I wanted others to understand that, for me, it is not simply a case of change what you eat and all will be well.

    I have just come through a time of suffering, and in connecting it to another difficult period in my life, I hope to make some real changes. I have fallen back into the trap of "needing" food to smooth out the rough edges of emotion.

    One step in figuring out how to stop using food is finding and valueing myself. When both my body and mind were sick on SAD, I was just going through the motions of my roles...Mom, Teacher, Wife. Caring for myself and feeding my own soul was last on the list.

    And so, I am seeking my meaning. Some day my boys will move on and I will retire from my job, so I have to understand the deeper purpose of my life. And yes, I do believe we all have a deeper purpose.

  10. #2280
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    I believe my deeper purpose is to come out on the other side of this struggle so that I can help others through their journey.
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."

    My journal:

    My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day

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