The Bedrock Journal - ( Pebbles67) page 228

[Pebbles67]

Paula, I am wondering if it might not be easier for you to give up one thing at a time? Unless you tend to do them in combination together. I could easily give up fruit again, although not permanently I don't think-the smell at the produce stand draws me to them, but giving up dairy and stevia for me would mean no coffee as I just cannot drink it black.

Elemiating one at a time would also let you know which is the one giving you problems.

Yes, I totally get what you are saying. It's just that I am trying to stop the bingeing. When I went for a whole 30 type thing a few months ago, I was able to get in two clean weeks.

[Sabine]

This is a brave and beautiful post, Pebbles.

[naiadknight]

Paula- I am glad you found the fortitude to share that. Some of that sounds familiar, just a different path. That had to be one of those hard to write/ glad it's out writings.

[justaseeker]

This is a brave and beautiful post, Pebbles.

+1

[Saoirse]

I'm really grateful you shared that. know that you are loved. *hugs*

[skink531]

That took a lot of guts to share all of that. It shows a lot of strength on your part. I'm sure with that strength you'll get yourself to where you want to be. It seems like you've already come an long way.

[theprimalcajun]

Paula...you are a brave & beautiful woman on the inside & outside. You will find your "way". We all support you & care about you. You have already come such a long way!!

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

[Candy in Wonderland]

I sing in the car with the kids to embarrass the hell out of them. That is fun.

me too

Wow, your post is really brave, Paula! I can imagine how hard it was for you to write that.

[Pebbles67]

Thank You all.

I just wanted to add a few thoughts. I am not in a bad space mentally. Everything that I wrote yesterday is my history. It doesn't haunt me anymore, but does speak to my lifelong skewed relationship with food and self. Of course, that was just the short version. There is much more to it. If you have any questions or comments about my story, please feel free to PM me.

I have been very successful in the Primal lifestyle, but lingering issues still wreak havoc. I wanted others to understand that, for me, it is not simply a case of change what you eat and all will be well.

I have just come through a time of suffering, and in connecting it to another difficult period in my life, I hope to make some real changes. I have fallen back into the trap of "needing" food to smooth out the rough edges of emotion.

One step in figuring out how to stop using food is finding and valueing myself. When both my body and mind were sick on SAD, I was just going through the motions of my roles...Mom, Teacher, Wife. Caring for myself and feeding my own soul was last on the list.

And so, I am seeking my meaning. Some day my boys will move on and I will retire from my job, so I have to understand the deeper purpose of my life. And yes, I do believe we all have a deeper purpose.

[demuralist]

I believe my deeper purpose is to come out on the other side of this struggle so that I can help others through their journey.