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Thread: Funnies! page

  1. #1
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Funnies!

    Primal Fuel
    I guess this could loosely qualify under use your mind.
    Everyone has THOSE days, the ones where you feel like the world just ran you over with a steamroller and your sense of humor got lost around the time the dog ran off with the keys for the 5th time in a row. This is a thread to help.
    Tell me your best funnies and stories. Jokes, stories, true, made up, you couldn't make it up if you tried, one liners, limericks, you name it, it's fair game.

    I'll kick it off:
    There once was a barmaid from Yale,
    Upon whose chest was the price of ale
    And on her behind, for the sake of the blind,
    were the same prices in Braille.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  2. #2
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    MeatMe216 is offline Senior Member
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    Was playing a gig a few weeks ago...

    A drunk douchebag was harrasing our keyboard player while he was trying to play. Inbetween songs our drummer says to him, "Hey, do I come to your job and slap the dick out of your mouth?"

    I lol'd for awhile.

  3. #3
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    NICE! (text to keep caps)
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  4. #4
    dragonmamma's Avatar
    dragonmamma is offline Senior Member
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    This was posted at Miss Cellania today:

    I was embarrassed when I saw my new doctor was an attractive woman, but she said, “Don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll help you in any way I can.”

    So I said,........“I think my penis may taste funny…”

  5. #5
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    bump
    Time for another one:
    Yo momma so SAD, she thinks a cookie in each hand is a balanced diet.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  6. #6
    MeatMe216's Avatar
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    Who LOVES getting fisted??





    sock puppets

  7. #7
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Didja hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?






    He laid awake at night wondering if there was a dog.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  8. #8
    Velocity's Avatar
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    Are you a college student, trying to navigate college while being Primal? Do you know any other PB college students on a tight budget? Heck, for that matter, are YOU trying to live Primal on a budget? Enroll at Primal University!

    For after all what is man in nature? A nothing in relation to infinity, all in relation to nothing, a central point between nothing and all and infinitely far from understanding either.
    -- Blaise Pascal

  9. #9
    Joe's Avatar
    Joe
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    Didja hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?
    He laid awake at night wondering if there was a dog.
    NK - double bonus points for funny and clean enough for any audience.
    Never eat anything bigger than your own head.

  10. #10
    jspradley's Avatar
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    Why do vampires save their used tampons?





    in case friends drop by for tea!

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