Trying The Primal Life- My 90 day wellness challenge journal
I've been here before, I've got a whole long messy journal thread buried down in this forum. But it got to be such a mess of ED and addiction and despair that I feel like I need a fresh start.
I'm a canary for what seems like the most baseline addiction there is, the legal, widespread, socially acceptable SUGAR addiction. The world's most beloved recreational drug, I suppose- or at least North America's. I'm like an alcoholic for sugar. I can't just 'use recreationally', my addiction to sweets just makes me too sick.
Hell, it's made me sick and depressed and unable to live, think and function ALL my life. I'm one of those people who's been slammed with the sugar blues (obesity, hypoglycemia, anxiety, depression, persistant feelings of just not fitting in or belonging or wanting to BE anywhere or do anything) so deeply that it's derailed my life. Or shaped it, I suppose. Directed it.
In a way, I almost feel lucky to KNOW how much sugar and grain harm your body and brain. I could be one of those millions of people who use every day and struggle- a little, a lot, but can still tolerate and function more or less- with their weight, with depression, with feeling like something is WRONG but being so drunk on sweets that they can't really focus on it. In a way, I'm lucky to have it be so obvious.
I'm lucky too to have a way out. Lots and lots of people just HAVE no health care, no access to good clean foods, no access to supplements, therapy, etc. No education on nurtition, no ability to go out and exercise due to living in an unsafe place, or due to disability or injury.
And more than that, I want to be excited to get better. I've been trapped by sweets all my life, but now I can at least TRY life without them.
And see what that's like. I've never done that before, so it's new and exciting!
I want to see if I CAN get better. What life is like without being sick and drunk on sugar all the time.
I want to try that for 90 days.
Just to see what happens.
Here's my plan, in brief:
1)Primal diet- plants and animals. Food has been so impossible all my life, I want to make it clean and simple. So I'll just use the primal pyramid- lots of healthy fat and animal/fish protein. Add some fresh clean veggies to that. Herbs and spices. Later on- I'll experiment with fruit, but right now my unstable blood sugar needs a break from fruit carbs. Club soda, herbal and green teas. Cocoa as a sensible indulgence.
2)Macronutrients ARE important for my blood sugar, which is a huge beast when it's unstable. So- lots of protein- 120g. Carbs at 100g per day, all veggies to start, fruit as tolerated later on. Rest should be fat. Calories ARE important since keeping count of them helps me control my weight. 1600kcal per day.
3)I have many food allergies and I need to take them seriously- food intolerences mess me up just as badly as sugar. (Well, maybe not AS badly, but badly!) But after the challenge, I want to get retested at my naturopath to see if I'm still allergic to things that I think are pretty harmless- like eggs, full-fat dairy, mushrooms, etc.
4)I have lifelong issues with low neurochemistry and vitamin depletion- so I take amino acid supplements, vitamins, aloe vera and alka seltzer for my digestion, etc.
5)Fresh air, sunlight, primal play.
Right now, November 28th, I'm pretty much as sick as I've ever been. I'm binging on sugar and I'm hip-deep in bulimia too. I've been eating sugar ALL day every day for weeks now. I feel like an alcoholic who starts drinking at 9am, I swear. I'm sitting here with a cup of coffee (caffeine isn't any good for me either). And my head and body are both totally messed up on all this poison food.
So that's where I'm starting.
We'll see where 90 days of change gets me.
Getting my Grok on in the Pacific Northwest.
"C is for cookie, that's good enough for me."
"Cookie is a sometimes food."
"Sometimes cookie monster eat APPLE instead of COOKIE. Sometimes eat CARROT."
-Cookie Monster, partially reformed sugarholic