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Thread: Saoirse's Primal Journal page 50

  1. #491
    Patrick's Avatar
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    Haven't had home Internet for 14 days. I'll try to work on something over the next few days while visiting my parents.

    Zoe, I wasn't saying men and women suck. I was practicing reductionism on what can often amount to dozens of pages of ranting between/about the sexes. Frankly, it's a really fucking tired cliche, so I was summarizing the whole of the argument so as to save people time.

    If you and your husband can talk about it, things will get better, Saoirse. I've only done long distance once for 10 months. And while that was from China to Canada (no visits, obviously), no kids were involved. If his isn't something you both can talk about, you're screwed. I'm not saying that to be mean, but as soon as silent resentment strikes you as a better option than trying to discuss things, the relationship's over.
    "Oh, you wanted answers...yeah, sorry, I'm not so good with those. Uh, probably something to do with science or something..." -- canio6

    August 2010: 207 lb, 37" waist, 25+% BF | Currently: 177 lb, 33" waist, ~15% BF

    Sometimes blogging as The Primal Mind. (My unorthodox and filthy-mouthed journal is semi-retired at this point)

  2. #492
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
    If you and your husband can talk about it, things will get better, Saoirse. I've only done long distance once for 10 months. And while that was from China to Canada (no visits, obviously), no kids were involved. If his isn't something you both can talk about, you're screwed. I'm not saying that to be mean, but as soon as silent resentment strikes you as a better option than trying to discuss things, the relationship's over.
    I agree with what Patrick says here. We're doomed to fail just because I've given up on talking. We talk about stuff but not us. Never seen any changes with him so it's pretty much done. I've found having no expectations easier than expecting massive changes from someone.
    Georgette

  3. #493
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    It can depend greatly on the realization. Sometimes discovering that things have hit that dreaded point can frighten both parties into an emotional state such that the discussion is possible. After all, while I like simplicity and minimalism (in all things), few things are black and white and no two circumstances the same.

    Still hopeful you and your husband have a shot, Geo! Call me a pragmatic optimist.
    "Oh, you wanted answers...yeah, sorry, I'm not so good with those. Uh, probably something to do with science or something..." -- canio6

    August 2010: 207 lb, 37" waist, 25+% BF | Currently: 177 lb, 33" waist, ~15% BF

    Sometimes blogging as The Primal Mind. (My unorthodox and filthy-mouthed journal is semi-retired at this point)

  4. #494
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    I withdraw the gender-based hardwiring stereotype commentary, LOL! Like I said, it is a generalization, but it doesn't appear to apply here...

    Hope all works out for Saoirse and Geo.

  5. #495
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    i hate this flip-flopping, but i do have hope for us. my husband has been expressing his devotion to me all along (there is no one else, he wants no one else, he loves me). of course i want to work things out. i have a long history of not feeling cared about and feeling rejected by those who are supposed to be my safety net (*warning* family dysfunction alert!), so i guess i shut down pretty easily. i feel like i should be able to approach issues in a calm and rational manner and still have them addressed. apparently, if i don't nag or throw a temper tantrum about something, he doesn't realize that it's important to me. umm...that's not going to work. i refuse to be like that, so we're going to have to figure out a different way to mark a subject as "important." i'm going to have to remember each and every time that if i want him to really LISTEN to something i'm saying, i will have to make it obvious. maybe i should grab him by the arm, look him in the eyes sternly and say "do you need to write this down? it is IMPORTANT."

    already i've failed to do this. i asked him to figure out a way that i can give him constructive criticism in a way that he will respond positively to (instead of getting really pissed off and globalizing "apparently i can't do anything right!") i guess i will need to ask him again, and again, and again, until i get an answer. maybe *I* should be writing this shit down. which brings me to a little gripe. when he gets emotional and blows up because i've criticized him, i should overlook it because he cares. when a woman does that, it's because she's a crazy woman. he did not see the double standard there.


    anyway...
    i ate primal brownies this morning for breakfast and now i have a sugar rush. it takes a LOT of those brownies to get a sugar rush. oh well, i could have done far worse i suppose.
    Last edited by Saoirse; 07-27-2011 at 09:32 AM. Reason: paragraphs, baby

  6. #496
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    thanks finnegan. the thing is, you never know when those stereotypes are going to hold true. there are a lot of stereotypes that just bug me because they're not true at all, but that's not always the case. for example, those stereotypes about men needing sex to feel loved, and women needing to feel loved before having sex totally hold true with us (what a fucking catch-22. maybe i should've been a lesbian.) you're just never going to know before hand if the stereotype holds for a particular couple.

    btw, who's on google+?

  7. #497
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    I think Facebook is as much social media as I can handle... I'm a friggin' geezer and too much technology overwhelms my poor brain.

    As for sexual stereotypes, I'm not sure the lesbians I know "need to feel loved before having sex."

    OK, so my takeaway from your journal has now narrowed to a laser focus: Saoirse is thinking about going lesbian.

    I know it's a mis-reading of your post, but this is definitely how men's minds are wired.

  8. #498
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    lmao. if i do that, i promise i'll post pics.

  9. #499
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
    lmao. if i do that, i promise i'll post pics.
    and sh*t just got real.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  10. #500
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
    lmao. if i do that, i promise i'll post pics.


    Are you sure you want things to work out with hubby...?

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