Saoirse's Primal Journal page 184

[Saoirse]

i go to trig, and you guys go from tornadoes to testicles? lol.

Yay on feeling better about your belly It's good when our friends can reassure us- even if it's indirectly.

As to the librarian . . . *wide-eyed stare* I'd like to look like that . . .

thank you. i know my body issues are dumb, if only my right brain would listen to my left brain (or is it the other way around?)

To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles.


Hmm...I shall research this to ensure its authenticity.

i have read that biblical swearing was done by placing your hand on the other guy's upper thigh. i know, not the same culture or necessarily time period, but it seems the change the interpretations of some verse (don't ask me which, i haven't picked up a bible in years).

[drssgchic]

Our issues are what they are. But I'm glad I could fight the good fight against yours

[Saoirse]

thank you. it makes a difference to me.


by the way, good testicle stories! FW- i know lots of people like that, and it always cracks me up. setting your mind to stopping smoking is nothing special; it's called resolve! growing your hair? yeah, i dunno.

[Saoirse]

breakfast: a bunch of ground pork, an avocado, salsa

lunch: big bowl o' ice cream (that's the last of it)

dinner: this and that; a little homemade chicken soup, some pan fried potatoes, BAS from garden mesclun mix and a yellow pepper, a few hamburger patties

snacks: apple slices, a ton of blueberries, a peach

[drssgchic]

Well, as a little extra boost, I'm in the middle of your sundress pictures, and, dang. Remind me again what you're complaining about- cause I can't see it!

(I totally hear you about pastels/white. I might look good in them, but they attract dirt like magnets. Dark is better. Way better. Although I do have trouble seeing you in black. You might have to post more pics. Um, domme? )

[Saoirse]

hmmm..i don't know how much black stuff i have anymore, other than a few tank tops, though at one time it was almost all that i wore. for all my bitching and moaning, maybe i should just demonstrate. am i going to regret this? maybe. i might take it down later.

side profile: not so bad
DSCN0161.jpg

front: OMFG WHT happened here??
DSCN0153.jpg

[Saoirse]

hmm...it's kind of relieving having those pics up there. kind of scary for some stupid reason, but also relieving.

[cori93437]

hmmm..i don't know how much black stuff i have anymore, other than a few tank tops, though at one time it was almost all that i wore. for all my bitching and moaning, maybe i should just demonstrate. am i going to regret this? maybe. i might take it down later.

side profile: not so bad
front: OMFG WHT happened here??

Meh... silly girl.
It's really not bad... the way you talk bout it I expected a train wreck.

It'll never be perfect. But your babies smiles do that just fine.

I have a good bit of experience with scarring... and that's what that is. Scars.
Time.... Time. Time. Time... They'll fade more.
And some good old fashioned rubbing with some coconut oil too if you feel like it.

Here you go...
ONE of mine (I have 7)... it's on my left side about where my kidney is I guess... the bulgy thing touches my ribcage at the top, it's to the back a little... not exactly in the middle of my side.
The reason it bulges to one side of the scar is because there is a hockey puck sized medical device in there.

Now... if it looks small, remember that it is over 4 inches... as long as my palm is wide.
And it's over an inch wide. (**Cool, it actually posted really close to 'life size'! But it also looks lighter, maybe from flash?)
And it's about 6 YEARS old... so it has faded. some. The first 2-3 year it was PURPLE. Weeeee.


Seriously... it looks like an evil parasitic LARVAE!!!
Stoopid doctor. LOL

Also... this area has only been opened once.
They will open it again in a year or two.
I can't wait to see it after they mangle it a second time.
I have a couple of thinner, but longer, scars that have been opened 2-3 times... they look all ropey and weird.

[Saoirse]

yay! pictures! (can you tell i'm really visual?) my scars change color; sometimes they're all white, other times they're purple. i don't understand why, but i've given up on any hope of fading or smoothing. it's the texture more than anything that bothers me. i have some light stretch marks in other places that i think are cute. i have no clue why, that's just my reaction. but my tummy is just blech. sure it could be worse, but it could be better. Anyway...


Thank you for sharing your scar. what does your medical device do, if that's not too personal?

[cori93437]

It's a SCS, spinal cord stimulator,... a pain control device.
I have a problem that causes my brain to send out pain messages without any stimuli.
And it also over reacts to any stimuli that it does get.
It's called RSD or CRPS.
I have it in the entire right side of my body... toes to nose!
I've had that since '97, diagnosed in '98, medically retired in late '98, first SCS implant in '99.
Without my SCS I'm a useless mess... even morphine doesn't take the pain away enough.
I've had... about... 10 surgeries to keep it running.

It's only been a couple of years since your last babe... give it some time.
Some people, especially some of us with fair skin, take a long time to heal... but I think it'll still get better.