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Thread: Saoirse's Primal Journal page 166

  1. #1651
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    i guess what i'm wondering is if my husband is that stupid or if he's a giant prick and i'm just trying to keep our relationship stable by choosing to believe he's that stupid. i guess you guys can't answer that for me.

    drssgchic- how did the highlights look when they were growing out? i'm worried that by messing with my hair color i'm going to wind up having to keep up with it every 6-8 weeks. that's a bit of money that really could be spent elsewhere. but *i* would like to do highlights if it's not sometthing i'll have to commit to.
    Last edited by Saoirse; 05-25-2012 at 12:37 PM.

  2. #1652
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    That's why I insisted on highlights instead of a full-head dye. My hair grows- as the hairdresser put it- like a weed. So the chunks were perpetually different lengths of grown out so I didn't have a solid dye-line. As far as the last round- I got pissed off, dyed it blue, and when it started to go green I dyed it brown so it wouldn't be terrifically obvious that I was growing it out. I'm not sure how that would work on blond hair, though. (hmm- I really need to re-dye the top of my blond streak. At some point)

    I think if you keep it subtle and the chunks a bit uneven, it could be done on an "as able" basis.

    It is unfortunate that ass or moron are the choices.
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

  3. #1653
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  4. #1654
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    I really wish that I had something to offer up **edit- obviously, once I got started, I found something to say. Derp** ... I was going to try about 10 pages back, but the ball kept rolling and I think that my experiences are either too f*ked up to relate to this of as with current husband... he just wouldn't.

    I mean.. he knows how I am as far as sexual preference. We offer up any nice packages we see (female) to each other pretty regularly. Sometimes we don't agree 100%, but since it's something that we share I never look at it as a "Hey... you should be more like "x", rather than just "wow... look, BOOBS over your left shoulder!"
    But he doesn't send me pics with comments about how he likes certain things... I think he would see that as just plain rude.
    We are all imperfect... and generally aware of out imperfections. None of us need another person pointing them out.

    I'm not perfect... and neither is he. FAR from it! He could easily offer up a hundred examples of hotter women, and I could offer up a hundred examples of hotter/more financially desirable men who I'd probably actually have a SHOT with unlike the ones he'd throw out (I'm aware of the special group of pretty hot men who prefer a chunky girl).
    BUT I choose him, and he chooses me. We have real reasons for that. For instance I trust him... nothing is more important to me than that. And for him... I'm very low maintenance and laid back. He never has to "ask" to do anything like most of the guys he knows. And I'm also game for anything... I tend to take life as it comes with a very zen attitude. There have been things he chose to do on my birthday or whatever that really had NOTHING to do with me. Most women tend to get mad and either go and pout or just plain throw a fit. I dive in and have fun!

    I think it's the choice that makes the biggest difference. I choose my husband very rationally. Yes I love him, more than I ever thought I would to be honest. But I chose to be with him because of the stability that he could give me.
    And I think that he made a choice too. I couldn't have kids... he didn't want to have kids. We got along as friends and I gave him space to be moody when he gets that way.
    And it helped that we were sexually compatible.
    I think that sometimes it's important for everyone to remember that even the giddy feelings of love can be cultivated... it's just a different sort of process than regular marriage duties,and can be defeated by little things and biting remarks much easier.

    I do comment on men occasionally... though few really spark my interest. His comment is usually "If that's what you need to be happy, go get it..." Which I assume is his man way of saying... "I really don't care if you think that enormous neanderthal freak of a man is HOT woman... I'm the one who takes care of your business."
    So... yeah, that's true for men. Bunch of damn honey badgers! LOL

    ***#ramblin
    Last edited by cori93437; 05-25-2012 at 01:09 PM.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  5. #1655
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    Cori- I was wondering about that. I mean, I have looked at women with men, but I can look at it from a "would I hit that" perspective, which would make her less competition and more potential fun.

    And, just curious, your husband does know how lucky he is to have you, right? Hmm- as I was typing that I realized it applies to both Cori and Saoirse.
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

  6. #1656
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    i feel bad that i can't be like that, cori. but i just can't right now. i've tried, and each time i end up just feeling really hurt. he also kind of wishes that i was bi, but as far as pictures go, i'm not. i'm not turned off by the idea of *doing* something with another lady, but pictures are a different ballgame. a woman is real, she has faults, insecurities, and a personality. a picture is usually airbrushed, photoshopped, and totally dehumanized. i think that's part of why it's so offensive to me.

  7. #1657
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    Ok... I guess I need to add something. Yes husband and I share looking at women as an "I'd hit that" sort of thing.

    HOWEVER... husband not only is not interested in me bringing a partner to bed with us (and I've offered it very openly), he isn't interested in hearing about my FonF exploits from back in the day either. He totally just doesn't perve on it. Weird but true. Only man on the planet I think.

    I think if I ever really expresses a NEED for an additional female partner that he would reluctantly give me the option... but done separate from him.

    And I do understand where you are coming from Saoirse... when things are already on shaky ground the small slights just cut 100x harder. I've been in abusive relationship where this was done on purpose to keep me weak. It's not ever good to not feel "good enough" and I think that's what it comes down to... the "am I good enough" or "do you think I'm good enough"... that eventually become a part of our own voice and how we think of ourselves.

    And don't feel bad that you can't be like that right now... you've been poked and prodded in completely the wrong way IMO. He may not KNOW how manipulative he's being, but it doesn't change the fact that you feel completely manipulated by what he is doing... and you've made him aware of that!

    IMO don't ever do something just because you think that's what another person wants. If you would want to be with a woman on your own alone without husband within a million miles, just don't. It has to be your idea first and foremost, not something done to please... that would go sideways so fast you don't even want to know. I've seen it. It just doesn't work. Resentment on the grandest scale.
    Last edited by cori93437; 05-25-2012 at 02:16 PM.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  8. #1658
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    Don't feel bad about it! It's part of who you are! You demand more than the surface. I fail to see how that is a bad thing. (Personally, that's why I prefer amature porn- they're less perfect and look way less bored ) And he can want you to be bi all he wants, but it's your mind/body- not his to dictate to. *shrug* Tough cookies, hubby
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

  9. #1659
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    Dang it Cori- why do you keep saying the same things as me but way, way better? Yeesh.


    (kidding, of course- only slightly jealous)
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

  10. #1660
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    Quote Originally Posted by drssgchic View Post
    Dang it Cori- why do you keep saying the same things as me but way, way better? Yeesh.


    (kidding, of course- only slightly jealous)
    I've been to LOTS of therapy. LOL
    I figure that has to count for something.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


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