Sweet strong beautiful 30 year old Mak died today and we are in shock. The heartache is extreme. I am numb.
I had not eaten by 2 pm and had some bacon and eggs with my hubby to stave off the gnawing...while the other gnawing just kept on coming. That gnawing feeling that it shouldn't have happened, her death. But I can't dwell on it anymore. 2 ryvita with Bovril and cheddar after the eggs...and a glass of red wine.
This afternoon my snack was a mineola (citrus) but really only the juice as I sucked it out of the fruit. Not long afterwards I had about 125ml (1/2 cup)of chunky cottage cheese.
Hubby is getting take-out tonight. The restaurant is closed for the day due to our sad loss. I have ordered 3 lamb chops and a Greek salad. That is for later. Now I shall have some Earl Grey tea with milk. I still feel like eating something and I am not sure what. It must surely be emotional...so I reach for the water.
Thoughts on my progress - I am doing it slowly as is suggested and that is working for me. I shall get on the scale on Monday. Primal needs planning.
RIP my dearest Mmakoma. I shall await your visit in my dreams. I love you.