Skink...this is an area where, once again, you and I are very similar. I can relate to your issues and world as ALL of my offspring in this world are female.
And as a father, I am much like you too. I do not want to raise the same sort of girls that I met when I was growing up. You know, co-dependent "wait for a man to save them" types. Thats bullshit. Especially nowadays. I look at my life and I see many of the lines that segregated my parents into their associated gender roles are now GONE. Men nowadays cook just as much- if not more- than some women (its that way in my house. I do the VAST majority of the cooking). Women in a lot of families make the money and are the sole provider for their families (in 2008 when I last lost my job my wife supported us and I stayed at home that summer with my 4 kids! My baby girl was 5 months old). We are becoming a society with many of the same roles for both sexes. I see it in my marriage to my wife...and I see the lines only getting more and more blurred as we move down the road to the future. Men and Women need to be able to do the same things nowadays. Its the "crosstraining" principle we use at work here. If someone is out sick...there better be a back up who can handle their job without missing a beat or else everyone suffers.
I try to raise my girls as "manly" as possible. Within reason. I dont make them do certain things that they have no interest in that I do...like mowing the grass or fixing my mower. However, both of my oldest daughters want to hunt with me next winter. My son does too. We will ALL be going. Of course, not on the same day because that would be stupid and we wouldnt find anything due to our noise level. But I will take them out individually with me. And they will ALL undergo instruction on how to safely handle, control and shoot a firearm.
The other thing I would say...is some of it isnt up to you. My oldest is a girly girl but she plays soccer (and hard!). My middle is sort of a tom boy/ girlie girl who most recently played soccer but now she wants to go back to gymnastics again which she loved and was good at when she was younger. And my baby, so far, is a princess. She loves looking in the mirror and singing and dancing. My point is...individualize your fathering to each of them. Because they will each need it in different areas of their lives. But also present them with the same message. I tell mine when they are out on their own after I raise them...they will be able to take care of themselves. By themselves. And I dont want to hear about needing to marry some man to provide for them!
If you can just get your....mind together....then come on across to me.....
James Marshall (Jimi)Hendrix