Yay! So happy for you.
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My parents chose #1 and it was the beginning of the end for my relationship with them, and it has never recovered and will never recover. They never got to know me as a developing adult, and I told them nothing about those years because they made it known at the time that they'd disapprove of everything (instead of just talking to me about things, whether we agreed or disagreed). They still know nothing. They wasted their entire relationship with me.
Do. Not. Be. That. Guy. We all know you're way better than that, Dave. If your daughter(s!) knows she can talk to you now, she'll talk to you throughout -- and about everything that matters to her. She'll ask for your advice, and she'll trust it, regardless of whether she follows it. More important, she'll know you trust her and that'll help her build trust in herself and her own judgement during the rough, angst- and self-doubt-filled teen years... and those are looming just ahead. (in a few years, right? can't remember your daughters' ages off the top of my head -- sorry!)
And while you probably don't want to hear this... It also means she won't just sleep with guys to piss you off/get back at you. And she'll do exactly that if you treat her like her sexuality is some kind of prize that you get to maintain ownership of.
I can only imagine it's hard being a father of daughters, but you'd be making a huge mistake if you were to take the path my parents took, which is also the one many parents take, sadly. Life's a bitch all 'round, but it's a lot easier to navigate when you've got a dad (and mom, of course) on your side who listens and is backing you up.
Anyhoo. Sorry if that came across harsh or whatnot, but almost all the people I knew who made bad sexual decisions in their teen years didn't have supportive parents they could talk to about much of anything, so a lot of their decisions were based on acting out. It also meant that they relied on their friends as "experts." Yikes. I'm sure you won't make that decision, but thought I'd add some weight behind the argument that you definitely shouldn't.
Patrick, your advice is spot on. As far as the kids know that is exactly who I am. It's just that in private with the wife I can't help but to have those dad emotions slip out. The conversation I had with her is that she is pretty, smart, funny, and sweet, so it is only natural that a boy would like her and totally normal and OK. I let her know it is also normal if she liked them back. I just want her to know what is appropriate behavior for 8 and 9 year old kids in this situation. I have noticed that our society has turned out a bunch of 8 year olds that want to act like 18 year olds. Last year(when they were 7) one of her friends was over to play and was talking about dating and trying to get boys to like her. WTF!!! My wife tried to subtly tell her that she shouldn't be worrying about those things, but we aren't that kids parents.
Oh, and that video kicked ass. I'm sure Maynard would have been proud.
Here is the original for all the non-Tool people to compare it.(This video even comes with the cool science to go with it)
For sure, man. I figured I was preaching to the choir, but a little reinforcement never hurts! You're totally right that everything is accelerating for kids. There's a lot of pressure for them to be adults but also kids... and to not be under pressure. Not only do they have to juggle real-world interactions but online ones, too. Most of us are digital immigrants; kids are digital natives. Totally different world for them! I'm sure your kids are happy as hell to have you for a dad!
And yup... Tool rocks. Been in love with them since Undertow. Dammit. Now I have a crazy urge to listen to Undertow and Aenema back to back.
Wow...been AWOL from here for a while. It's probably a good thing to take a vacation from e-life once in a while. The bad thing is I have also taken a vacation from workouts. I dis workout yesterday for the first time in about three weeks. I have actually started going to a real gym. Since o don't get off work until 4:30, it is getting dark by the time I get home(fucking winter), not to mention it is a little cold for doing outdoor workouts. I decided that the community center that is right next door to where I work would be a good option. Yesterdays workout was dumbbell bench, dumbbell rows, dumbbell overhead press, and lat pulls. Kept it short and simple(and too heavy) for the first day. Still just a little sore today, but good. Going to go again tonight and do some squats and dead-lifts.
One thing at the gym made me laugh, and reminded me why I stopped going to gyms in the past. There was one kid in there, looked early 20's. In decent shape and weighed about 165 - 170. He loaded up what looked to be close to 400 lbs on the bench. He then proceeded to bounce the bar off his chest, ass came about two feet off the bench, and his spotter looked like he was doing bent over rows while yelling "IT' ALL YOU, BRO!!!" Sorry dude, but you are a fucking joke. Maybe I don't look as "cool" as you, but I'm doing it right. Just for shits and giggles I went to the USA power lifting site and saw that 400 lbs is the WV state record in the collegiate 220 lb weight class.
Anyway, new job is boring(that's why I'm here now). I really can't do anything until I finish training which will mean travelling out of town on four different weeks. I hate being away from the family, but I have no other choice. Right now I am working for the state. I will be interviewing ans processing applications for welfare and other services. The pay sucks, but the benefits are good. I'm just bidding my time until I can transfer to another state agency that is more my lone of work. Funny coincidence though, my old college roommate is a supervisor here in another department. We were best friends but kind of lost contact a few years ago, so this is kind of cool. He's been introducing me around to the higher ups and pushing my qualifications.
That's all for now. I'll have to try and catch up on all the other journals eventually.
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Good luck with the new job. I hope you can jump to something more your speed soon.
Oh, this was perfect timing... I was getting worried about you, but I remembered you'd started a new job. I was about to do a "hello... are you out there..." post!
It sounds like you're in a good position to move into something better!
Don't they have KBs at that gym?
I know what you mean about form, though. I do some of my workouts in the base gym, they have a Crossfit-like area with the Crossfit equipment. It hurts my eyes to see some of these young guys totally dork up their form. I've only ever helped one person, but that was the teenage daugher of a guy working out. I think if I tried to tell a guy twice my size that he could deadlift more if he moved the bar a little closer to his shins when he starts to lift, he'd blow me off. I'm just a (very) small female, what do *I* know about lifting weights...