So I've been absent from my journal for a little while. As it turns out, there has been a bit of an upheaval in my life. I have recently found myself without a job. I find myself a victim of local politics. I've actually been out of work for over little while now, but had been all but promised by the powers that be that it was only a temporary situation. I believed them, and just figured I'd weather the storm in the short term and all would be back on track long term. Well, the temporary situation is now a permanent situation. As I see it, politics is nothing more than a chess game and I am nothing more than a lowly pawn. When the other side takes a pawn they feel good because they took a piece from the other side. Your own side says "Eh...it's just a pawn. No big deal." So needless to say, I have been a little preoccupied lately.
Here's the strange thing, I don't care that much about not being a cop anymore. The job had kind of lost it's magic for me anyway. A while back I had expressed feelings of wanting to change. The thing that was stopping me was the security of a steady paycheck and benefits. Of course right now I'm not thinking about pursuing any dreams, but just getting any job out there to have some money coming in. The sad thing is, I don't have a lot of skills that are very marketable in the private sector, but I'm looking to see where I might fit in. The law enforcement thing just isn't happening right now, and as my wife said, "they did it to you once, do you want to see if they'll do it again?" Private security doesn't normally pay that well. There is the government security side like Canio, but he sounds like he has some rank and seniority and still gets hinted to that his job could be on the bubble(Canio, I apologize if I have that wrong). And I hate to say it, but I am kind of looking forward to finding a job where I go in, do my 8 hours, and go home. No stress or having to think about work all the time. The never really being off duty. The only stress I feel now is that if i don't find a job that pays fairly well I don't know how I will be able to keep the house. I won't throw out any numbers, but I was doing pretty good salary wise, and we were living at that pay level. Our mortgage was based on my making as much as I did. If in the next few months, if I can't find a job that is at least close in pay, We may just pack it up. The in-laws have already offered to have us come up to West Virginia with them. They have a large house on 20 acres in the country about an hour outside of Pittsburgh. They have expressed that they are getting older and could actually use the help there. I think this may be what we need to do. The kids would love to live up there with grandma and get to see the seasons change. I hate the city life anyway. I always say that I love South Florida the place, but I absolutely hate everyone that lives here.
So maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Right now it absolutely sucks ass, but maybe in the long run it will be the best thing for me and my family. Maybe now there isn't any reason not to pursue all the things I want to. I could start bitching and crying, saying how unfair it all is, and why me, but that won't change it and it won't do anything to help the situation. I know it's a cliche, but I'll just take it one day at a time. I will do whatever I need to do for my family. So i may not be on here as much as before for a while, but I'll check in from time to time and see what everyone is up to.