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  1. #1
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    Uncooperative Mate?

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    So... my girlfriend moved in recently, I was looking forward to cooking larger meals, which can be easier, but we're clashing big time:

    She doesn't eat the following:

    1) All Beef Products
    2) All Pork Products
    3) All vegetables except carrots and green peppers
    4) Allergic to ALL things coconut

    She does eat, and stocks the pantry full of:

    Pasta
    Bagels
    Sandwiches
    Pizza

    I myself have been on this primal roller coaster, changes in my job and eating out alot (on the road) have been making it very difficult to stay on this. I've kept off the 40lbs I lost doing P90X, but I still have about 35 more to go, and I've just been totally stalled. I just can't seem to stick with this for more then 3 days anymore. I'm bombarded from every angle possible and it seems like sometimes my choices are simply not to eat, or suffer through the carbs.

    Argh.

    Sincerely,

    Frustrated Tom

  2. #2
    PrimalWannabeGirl's Avatar
    PrimalWannabeGirl is offline Senior Member
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    This is a couples communication issue more than anything.

    Just as you want respect for your eating "culture", your girlfriend wants respect for hers. (Now is not the time to bombard her with online links, books, or anything else seeking to convert her.)

    First thing to do is make a list of all the meals you can eat in common. It sounds like she will eat fowl and fish in terms of animal proteins.
    So build a list of a few primal dishes that she will eat, and therefore you will eat. Make those meals the centerpieces of your dinners, say 3 or 4 nights a week.

    The other eat-home dinners can be "to each their own." You cook YOUR meal, she cooks hers, and you eat together.

    If the budgeting issues are part of this, pool your resources for your communal meals, and then divide up the kitchen in your Primal Zone and her SAD Zone. Do this with respect.

    Lead by example. As you continue to get healthier, leaner and fitter, she may just join you. Be patient. I assume there are qualities in her that are special to you. Don't let the kitchen ruin the bedroom, if you know what I mean. Just approach this as a problem to be solved, where neither of you is WRONG and NEITHER OF YOU needs to change.

    Good luck,
    PWG

  3. #3
    momofredheads's Avatar
    momofredheads is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrimalWannabeGirl View Post
    This is a couples communication issue more than anything.

    Just as you want respect for your eating "culture", your girlfriend wants respect for hers. (Now is not the time to bombard her with online links, books, or anything else seeking to convert her.)

    First thing to do is make a list of all the meals you can eat in common. It sounds like she will eat fowl and fish in terms of animal proteins.
    So build a list of a few primal dishes that she will eat, and therefore you will eat. Make those meals the centerpieces of your dinners, say 3 or 4 nights a week.

    The other eat-home dinners can be "to each their own." You cook YOUR meal, she cooks hers, and you eat together.

    If the budgeting issues are part of this, pool your resources for your communal meals, and then divide up the kitchen in your Primal Zone and her SAD Zone. Do this with respect.

    Lead by example. As you continue to get healthier, leaner and fitter, she may just join you. Be patient. I assume there are qualities in her that are special to you. Don't let the kitchen ruin the bedroom, if you know what I mean. Just approach this as a problem to be solved, where neither of you is WRONG and NEITHER OF YOU needs to change.

    Good luck,
    PWG
    I agree!! Great suggestions!!
    ~*Lori*~
    my Primal journal : http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...-momofredheads
    my food blog http://iamhungrywhatsfordinner.blogspot.com/

    SW 231 as of 1/1/2012
    CW 192

  4. #4
    Redflame's Avatar
    Redflame is offline Senior Member
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    PWG needs a medal for that post!
    Redflame
    Started PB Aug 9, 2010 then let 'stuff' get in the way
    Back to start and make a fantastic 2012
    Goal of Significant Weight Loss
    15 pounds down! with more to go!

  5. #5
    elwyne's Avatar
    elwyne is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redflame View Post
    PWG needs a medal for that post!
    +453872

  6. #6
    iniQuity's Avatar
    iniQuity is offline Senior Member
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    A buddy of mine is having similar issues. His wife was paleo for a few months but for whatever reason decided to go back to CW, and they’re Italian, so she’s fixing pastas, risottos, etc and my friend is finding HIS motivation to stay paleo harder. He got married less than a year ago so it’s still a young marriage and he’s trying to keep eating what he knows is good for him and trying not to annoy his wife with “you shouldn’t eat that…” but he’s worried about her health, and possibly having her gain some of the weight she lost right back which will inevitably happen.

    In my case my gf loves primal food and enjoys eating everything I make as long as it’s not obscure (she ate liver and heart under false pretenses =] ) but at home she doesn’t think twice about eating a bowl of cereal, toast, etc. At first I would get on her case, but now I don’t as much. Her body composition hasn’t changed in the least but I think it’s a combination of her less than optimal food choices and almost complete lack of exercise which she’s making strides to change. I think if we lived together it would either be great for us and she would go primal or it could potentially disrupt our harmony…

    Edit: My gf would like to "get strong" as she puts it, but doesn't care to lose weight, and she doesn't really need to. I keep trying to get her to start lifting heavy things, starting with herself, her push ups are atrocious! haha I gave her my copy of Convict Conditioning but she hasn't started it yet..
    Last edited by iniQuity; 10-15-2010 at 09:17 AM.

  7. #7
    lizch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redflame View Post
    PWG needs a medal for that post!
    I agree! One of the best responses I've read on this forum.
    Liz.

    Zone diet on and off for several years....worked, but too much focus on exact meal composition
    Primal since July 2010...skinniest I've ever been and the least stressed about food

  8. #8
    lcme's Avatar
    lcme is offline Senior Member
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    PWG definitely has gotten right to the point there. At the end of the day you can only live by example and hope that the other person sees the light.

    I never thought that my SO would give up potatoes and bread, but 1 year into my elightenment and he was on the wagon full force! (down 25 lbs if I may boast)

  9. #9
    shiggles's Avatar
    shiggles is offline Senior Member
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    Going to have to agree with PrimalWannabeGirl on this one, mate.

  10. #10
    Daemonized's Avatar
    Daemonized is offline Senior Member
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    Being single right now, I have wondered how I would ever handle being in a relationship where I cohabited with someone else again. I've gotten so that I really like cooking for myself, but I have my own ways of doing things now that probably wouldn't please anyone else. For example, a couple nights a week I'll have a can of salmon with a little cheese an some mustard in it. I'm a fan of cooking big in the weekends too and I have meal sized portions for me frozen in baggies for week nights. Then I also do carb refeeds with a sweet potato some evenings and in general I'm an eccentric bastard.
    I figure if I ever did get in that sort of a situation I'd either do all the cooking or cook for me onezy except for maybe on weekends. While I would fix someone extra non-primal things if the wanted, I would not, however, change my dietary habits to please someone else. I guess I could get super lucky and find another prime to date, but the primal dating scene has been dead around these parts for the last few hundred years.

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