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Reply With QuoteThis doesn't exist. Unless you're partnered with yourself.Originally Posted by Grizz
Senior Member
Spaceman,
Sorry, but I just don't agree with the nicey nicey approach being discussed here. I know I am going to get a lot of flak but this is serious. PWG has great advice in this thread, and is perfectly logical. Who can say anything against her splendid advice. She is clearly right on, logically. However this is not a logical situation. It is emotional. There can only be one cook in the kitchen. Illogical I know, but that is the way it is.
These are basically IRRECONCILABLE differences here. Give her a reasonable chance to see it your way, or it must be the HIGHWAY. It is YOUR life at stake here, and IMO, compromise is clearly not possible. You and your GF are simply incompatible. Nothing wrong with that. Such is life and there are plenty of fish in the sea. You just can't go through life cooking different meals in the same kitchen. If you look really close, you may see many more irreconcilable differences. No harm done if she is just a live-in girlfriend. If she refuses to see it YOUR way on this issue, trust me, there will be too many other issues coming up. You need a lifetime partner that is compatible in every way.
Best of luck to you in ironing out these issues
Grizz
Last edited by Grizz; 10-15-2010 at 12:07 PM.
Senior Member
This doesn't exist. Unless you're partnered with yourself.
"Boy I got vision and the rest of the world is wearing bifocals" - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Senior Member
I agree with this. So much so that it makes me worry about moving in with my gf who isn't fully primal. I love her to bits and pieces but seeing someone have unhealthy habits day in and day out would simply not fly in the long run. Luckily, she only has a few, minor unhealthy food habits and is totally on board with eating more veggies, does enjoy meat and such. I guess, given all of that it really wouldn't be so hard. I definitely agree with Grizz on this one though, real hardcore differences in eating habits is just a recipe for disaster.
Senior Member
Sorry, but that is not going to work out.
Just kidding. If my wife doesn't want to eat what I cook, she can make something else. i am the cook in the relationship.
Senior Member
As your friend and as a female, may I gently recommend not 'trying to get her to lift heavy things'? It might just be me but it pissed me off royally when my husband was trying to encourage me (get me) to work out. And by that I mean that over time, it was a Very Bad Thing for our relationship.
Might just be me. I'm easily annoyed.
Last edited by cillakat; 10-15-2010 at 05:48 PM.
Senior Member
I love PWG's advice and would agree with it in regards to many other issues couples face.
Food is a huge core issue though. If - and this is a huge if - there is ever a chance that you would consider life with this person, including raising children with this person you'll have to deal with the food thing over and over and over.
Now, it may be that in every other way you are so compatible, that you're not going to worry about the food thing. Great. It's important to know yourself and what you can manage. But I know that for me, *choosing* unnecessary complications is not helpful over the long term. Yes, I've occasionally done it. But it's just obviously not the right thing. For me. For me, food is that big of a deal.
Does my husband eat primally? No. But he is willing to eat whatever food I make and loves meat. If, though, I haven't grocery shopped or cooked, he will absolutely run out for cereal, bread and nitrite laden lunch meat.
rotflmao!
Ditto for religion/religiosity, various issues regarding sex and various issues regarding money.
Oscar Wilde: "Life is not complex. We are complex. Life is simple, and the simple thing is the right thing..."
Pick the right thing - the simple thing - whenever possible.There will be enough difficulties that will come along without us choosing them.
Senior Member
While not ideal, couples and families do this all the time. Some have food allergies or develop them, eating philosophies change over time, diets change because of illness, etc.
It would have been better to have explored these differences before moving in together and there may be other differences that should also have been discussed before making this commitment. As any couple who has been together a long time knows, there are a LOT of things that need to be worked out when deciding compatibility and continue to be worked out as time goes by.
None of us here can say if this is a dealbreaker for the OP or something that the two of them can work out.
Senior Member
I don't know why I said I "keep" getting her to try. I mention it but not often. In all honesty, fitness doesn't get brought up as much as proper nutrition goes. We have had THIS somewhat unpleasant conversation though:As your friend and as a female, may I gently recommend not 'trying to get her to lift heavy things'? It might just be me but it pissed me off royally when my husband was trying to encourage me (get me) to work out. And by that I mean that over time, it was a Very Bad Thing for our relationship.
Might just be me. I'm sensitive.
Her: I'm fat, I want to start working out.
me: that's cool, but you'd benefit from just not eating frosted wheats for no reason.
her: yeah but I like those, and I'm talking about exercise.
me: I know, but it's better to have your exercise compliment your nutrition, not have your exercise cancel out your bad food choices.
her: ok... I know, but still.
We drop it before it turns into an actual argument, and I think I did my part by giving her CC to read, and showing her some stuff she can do in her own time, since she still thinks she needs the gym to work out and such. She's a smart girl though, and she's seen what I've gone through, changes I've made, and she's seen what I do at home, the equipment I acquired or built, etc. She sometimes will get on my power tower thing and do a chin up negative, and actually has gotten stronger from doing them as infrequently as ONE rep once a week, which is pretty nuts. I'm gauging her strength on her being able to hold herself up, and stop at "the L" (when your arms form an L as you're decending) but has still a while to go. She just lacks some motivation and claims to be tired, so then I point out some of the shit carbs she eats, and the sugary treats, and then it all starts up again ...
I'm patient and supportive, I love my girl.
Senior Member
Now this, I'm not buying. If you could feed yourself before, you can feed yourself now.
K
Senior Member
Good! This is a great relationship skill - being able to walk away.
Like I am now. lol
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