Primal Journal (beachrat) page

[beachrat]

I'm tired of not feeling good, and not feeling in control. My work life is very stressful for many reasons, and too many things feel out of my control. So, at the least I can get my physical life better in hand.

When I got my first pair of VFFs about six months ago I felt like they changed my life. But the daily grind sucked me back in and dragged me back down. I think I can get back to that positive feeling and feel sure going primal will help.

[beachrat]

Although this wasn't a good time to start changing eating patterns, I feel it has been a good focus and definitely has helped to keep me away from flour, gluten, processed foods on this trip. I will be clearing out my pantry etc., once I get home, and am looking forward to buying better quality consumables. I have also looked into local farmers' cooperatives back home via online resources, and have two to check into for a steady supply of grass-fed/pastured meat and eggs. Keeping my fingers crossed that all of this will add to positive and noticeable changes in health, mood, and balance.

[beachrat]

So the adjustment back home has been pretty easy, except for continuing monumental stress at work, additional teaching job, family life here and extended, etc. I joined the Weaver Street co-op and took home scallops, fish, and a chicken the same day; haven't followed up on the local farmers' co-ops yet. I have more not-great protein in the house that I'll work my way through, supplementing with better eggs, meat, and poultry as I stock back up. Also am taking fish oil.

With all the stress I don't feel terrific but I don't feel worse, and I'm definitely not hungry. There are a few temptations around the office, with a huge once-every-18-months international conference going on (astonishing how little protein or veggies there is anywhere -- I feel sorry for the attendees, whereas I've only had to pop in and out of sessions and a few other meetings). But actually that food doesn't attract me; it's more habitual or nervous eating when it's all around. Haven't given in yet but I've looked at it

Am sleeping pretty well. Getting to bed early-ish and sleeping without too much trouble, and although several times I've woken up in the night I've been able to get back to sleep. Last night I had not one but two dreams that ended really badly (having to do with the source of some of the stress that's making me most unhappy), which presumably is my subconscious working through the grief. So, I guess it's a good thing although it hasn't gotten my day off to a great start. Overall I'm getting more sleep than was usual, and those are the first dreams I've remembered in a long time (although now I'm trying to forget them!). On the other hand they were so bad they woke me up, and if I hadn't had the second one I might not have remembered the first one. Who knows.

Hadn't gained any weight on the trip, and have lost about 4 pounds since I got back.

[beachrat]

Continue to sleep better and better, although yesterday I had fish, carrots, and salad for 'lunch' around 3 (as my first meal) and then really felt I needed to lie down for a nap. Luckily I was working at home so that was possible. Then I went out to a movie with a friend, and ended up going to bed around 10:30 (*much* later than usual!) and got up around 7:00, so I guess all in all I'm still on a good schedule.

I had a terrible asthma attack last Friday, so bad that I had to stop driving and focus on getting my breath. It was really weird. I was basically fine at work, then needed to go over to the university to collect midterm papers from my students. By the time I got down the stairs to my car my breathing was labored, and it just escalated while I was driving across town. I did not have any medicine with me because I have never had anything like this happen before (now I have Primatene mist in my purse at all times). I walked very slowly to my office, and was still having difficulty for most of the two hours I was there (simply sitting, occasionally talking). Then, I was pretty much okay by the time I got home. [Edit: forgot to mention that I had a bunch of celery that day for lunch, which is something I have done often (I like the crunch) so that part wasn't unusual. I did think the celery didn't taste great, so that's the only 'trigger' I could guess from the whole episode. It still doesn't make sense, but it was the only clue I had. I don't remember if I had any breakfast, but since I didn't start having trouble until about 2:00 and after lunch, I don't think breakfast would have had anything to do with it anyway. Still a mystery.]

For the rest of the week I was not feeling great in the breathing department, but have also picked up something of a chest cold and cough. So, I guess it is just the beginning of fall.

Have lost 3 more pounds or so. I haven't started "exercising" really, although I do have a lot more energy so I find I am moving around a lot more than I had been. Especially at home, I am much more likely to work on a project that requires moving around the house and/or yard than to sit at my desk all day. I'll ease into the exercise more as some of my major stressors at work get a bit more under control (which will happen necessarily as certain deadlines are passed).

[beachrat]

I was down about 10 pounds but now have stalled. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong except not specifically exercising. I am however moving around a lot more in general, have tons more energy, generally am sleeping so much better. I think what I need to do is really focus on the super clean real food (for now I'm still working through some regular food I already had in the house -- the right kinds of things but not organic free-range grass-fed everything, mixed in with the better things). I'm already doing a mixture of IFs (10-18 hrs) here and there, some when I'm not hungry and some whenever it's more convenient not to eat (instead of eating the wrong things).

I did fall off the wagon badly last Friday night when I took my sister and dad out to eat. I thought there would be something decent on a Chinese menu but it was a flop. Tasted good but I'm sure was loaded with sugar and the chicken turned out to be breaded, which it didn't say on the menu, alas). But I felt terrible the next day and a half, so I won't be tempted to repeat that escapade.

I'm feeling less stressed at work, in part because some of my deadlines have passed (successfully), but still have about 12 hours of work to do per day. I try to get outside at least 15 minutes a day for some natural vitamin D (and have D3 supplement for the other days), and as mentioned am doing well on getting more sleep. Should get my first CSA box tomorrow -- I stocked up on some good things when I was home but then forgot to put them in the car when I came back! I need to work in some sprints somewhere, and then I'll feel more on track (no pun intended).

Have another conference coming up next week so I'm trying to think what food to take. There's supposed to be a great market in this town, and I should have time after the first day to explore a bit. Luckily at least it's a shorter trip so even if the nutrition isn't ideal, it shouldn't throw me off for too long. We'll see!

[jazmin]

Hi beachrat - Welcome!

Sorry about your high stress levels right now. I can relate. It's so nice to have one area in your life (the PB) where you can take control and make the changes you choose to make for yourself.

Just a couple random thoughts on stalled weightloss: (A) Don't worry about it too much. The goal here is more a change in body composition than a lowering of numbers on a scale. (At least, that is what I am struggling to live by. ) Here is a thread that is very helpful to me in wrapping my mind around the concept of "Ignore Scale." (Not sure if you are M or F, but it applies equally to both, despite the title.)

Batty's Thread

(B) Robb Wolf talks a lot in his podcasts about how high cortisol levels released by stress can stall the Paleo/Primal plan and fat loss, through some sort of biochemical mechanism I don't get. His recommendation is to reduce stress as much as possible (duh, I know) and get lots of sleep. So if you are worried about your little plateau, I bet once your stress levels go down as deadlines pass, etc, your fat loss will pick back up.

And it sounds like you are doing great with the sleeping part. Mmmm ... dontcha just love good sleep? Are you still having weird dreams? I have talked with a few other people on the forum who also are having weird, vivid dreams as they adjust to Primal. You are probably the fifth person I've seen, besides myself, who has mentioned it. Interesting.

[beachrat]

Hi beachrat - Welcome!

Thanks -- and sorry for not replying earlier. I'd sort of given up on the dialogue part of this thread so I didn't check back until now. My bad and thanks again for the welcome.

Sorry about your high stress levels right now. I can relate. It's so nice to have one area in your life (the PB) where you can take control and make the changes you choose to make for yourself.

Just a couple random thoughts on stalled weightloss: (A) Don't worry about it too much. The goal here is more a change in body composition than a lowering of numbers on a scale. (At least, that is what I am struggling to live by. ) Here is a thread that is very helpful to me in wrapping my mind around the concept of "Ignore Scale." (Not sure if you are M or F, but it applies equally to both, despite the title.)

Batty's Thread

Thanks *very* much. I have eased off on worrying about it, although the plateau lasted a while. I'm inching down again now, and enjoying wearing clothes I haven't worn in a long time. Trying to get the rhythm of eating good food only, at all times, so the junk (especially at the office) isn't even tempting.

(B) Robb Wolf talks a lot in his podcasts about how high cortisol levels released by stress can stall the Paleo/Primal plan and fat loss, through some sort of biochemical mechanism I don't get. His recommendation is to reduce stress as much as possible (duh, I know) and get lots of sleep. So if you are worried about your little plateau, I bet once your stress levels go down as deadlines pass, etc, your fat loss will pick back up.

I think that's part of it. Some of the worst is over, although there are always new deadlines to take the place of the old. It's all about pacing myself, at least that's what I'm telling myself lately.

And it sounds like you are doing great with the sleeping part. Mmmm ... dontcha just love good sleep? Are you still having weird dreams? I have talked with a few other people on the forum who also are having weird, vivid dreams as they adjust to Primal. You are probably the fifth person I've seen, besides myself, who has mentioned it. Interesting.

Weird, long, and interesting dreams. Sometimes even helpfully thought-provoking

The last few weeks I started waking up in the middle of the night and that was bumming me out, even though I was getting back to sleep without any real problems. Then I ran across this idea of segmented sleep, or dorveille via a question on PaleoHacks. I had just been thinking about getting black-out curtains but have decided not to at this point.

I do love the good sleep. I think even if I never lost another pound I'd stay on this path for the sleep, anyway. It helps fight off the stress, too!

[beachrat]

I'm in a cooking phase now -- over the weekend roasted a duck, cooked a pork/turkey meatloaf (that was delicious), roasted butternut and delicata squash (now I want more!), boiled down a bunch of bones for outstanding broth, and shopped for other ingredients. I was going to make pate' tonight but realized before I got too far that I needed to defrost the ground (pastured) pork.

Sleeping better and eating better. Only 14 pounds lost (I was not very faithful over a long Thanksgiving break) but tons more energy and getting back into some clothes I haven't worn in a while. Now I'm back to a stricter implementation and hoping the downward trend picks up momentum again.

[beachrat]

Good lord that pate' smelled great last night. By the time it was done cooking, however, I had already filled up on shrimp (sauteed in coconut oil) and leftover meatloaf, plus a little cauliflower. So I put it in the fridge and look forward to having some tonight. If it's half as good as it smelled it will knock my socks off.

Plus I have more shrimp, and sauteed in coconut oil is about the best way I've ever had shrimp. Tonight though I might add some garlic to see if I can top myself.

Also, yesterday was my first 24-hour IF (from dinner Monday night until dinner Tuesday night) which was easy and felt great. Doing it again today so I can pig out on goodies tonight, then will go back to more regular meals I suppose. Nice to know I can do a whole day IF with no strain, though. I'm psyched to get on a very good roll with eating real food all the right ways ... the better to make sure I maintain momentum through the parties etc. coming up for the holidays, too!

[beachrat]

One holiday party Saturday night threw me off all day yesterday. Today there's a lunch, and Friday another (faculty) lunch. Friday and Saturday an old friend in town, and Sunday another party. I see a lot of fasts in my future on the other days!

Edit: I don't find it too difficult to find something healthy to eat, or not eating, at these things -- unfortunately I do tend to give in to the opportunity for a few glasses of red wine. Apparently my tolerance and capacity to metabolize red wine differs from beer or has diminished with having lost the habit of drinking more regularly. Next party maybe I'll try harder to stick with sparkling water instead!