Primal Journal - Debbie page

[Debbie]

I'm on day three and, already, I see some definition around the top of my trunk ... the top of my ribcage, that area above my ab's. Woo hoo!

I am going to ease into this whole deal. One of the reasons this appealed to me was because it affirmed what I already knew: I should eat what makes me feel good and not put so much stock in what others say. It's fine to listen because, hey ... something may apply to me. When the student is ready, the teacher will arrive.

BUT, another huge reason I liked this was because I don't think it's natural to measure my food portions or count my servings. So, for now, I'm keeping this journal real loose. As I see more progress, I will probably be motivated to take measurements (of me, not the food!).

I'm looking for grass-fed beef, etc, in my area. For the time, I will have to settle on my local farmer's market and the organic section of Hannaford's.

So, for breakfast I had a spicy chicken sausage, sliced and browned ... added some baby portobello's that I sliced fairly thick ... and topped with three handfuls of organic baby spinach. Yum

My lunch is going to be mesclun greens topped with a can of tuna (in olive oil). I'll bring some organic carrots and celery, and a lime to drizzle on top of the greens before adding the tuna.

Dinner? I don't know. I'm full already from having eaten breakfast and planning lunch. Maybe I'll pick up some raw sunflower seeds enroute to work. Which, hey ... it's about that time. Adios

PS - I'll get back to exercise. It's been nearly a month. My endocrinologist has me doing a saliva-cortisol test to figure out the root of this damn fatigue. I haven't told him that I think I know the answer and I'm on day three of reversing it.

[Debbie]

I feel great. I was really starting to think something was wrong because I had been going to the track since March and then, about a month ago, I just couldn't get up. I saw some tone in my legs but more fat on my abdomen! I was needing more and more sleep. I actually slept until after nine this weekend! That is so NOT me! Today is day 4 and, although I slept a little over 7 hours, I am beginning to feel like me again. The pain from the old back injury is still there, but not like it's been. I can breathe, for one. I wanted to get out of bed, for two.

Having been on a healing path for over 3.5 years now, I am accustomed to observing changes in myself ... and figuring out what they mean, quicker than I did historically. I thought I knew about nutrition. ha ha ha ha ha Well, I did learn - and I am still learning new ways to employ - that I need to follow my gut. It's okay to let the mind ramble, but don't always do what she says for heaven's sake! Besides, the more I follow my gut, the quieter my mind is. She may just be a sounding device for my gut, anyway. In any event, eating what I've always liked gets peaceful (satiated) approval from my gut and my mind is quiet as a content baby.

Listening to The IZ on my Jack Johnson station at last.fm ... eager to start day four. Yes, weight loss is desired but it's more of a side effect than a goal. Life is full of challenges from the outside world; I want my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual parts to work in unison ... to be an integrated whole. 'United we stand, divided we fall' ... feeding my body what it needs (food, rest, work, play and introspection) empowers me to do that.

B - spinach omelet cooked in bacon fat, coffee with 1/2 'n' 1/2 (yeah, need to get real cream)
L - avocado, bacon, tomato on mesclun greens dressed with fresh squeezed lemon and olive oil
S - Plain Greek yogurt, blueberries, raw sunflower seeds
D - pork chop (cooked in crock pot with lots of fresh garlic, fresh cracked black pepper, sea salt and water), brussel sprouts with drizzel of balsamic vinegar

Water and green tea throughout the day at work.

Exercise will come again. I'm getting back in sync with my food and sleep. Besides, except for lunch and when I am taking patients out of the computer, I do not sit at work. I am standing or moving and some of our patients are very heavy. My friends and I are planning a hike for a week from Saturday. We went to a lot of beautiful places last year. I am really looking forward to it. =)

[Debbie]

Alright, so it's not the next day yet. But I was tested and I passed.

I was jonesing for something 'carb' ... nothing in particular, just something. I ran some possibilities through my head and none of them appealed to me. I decided that this was not true hunger for a carb source, but that part of my brain where habits set in and addictions form was whining like a little child. I kept telling myself that when I got home I had a pork chop and some brussel sprouts with balsamic vinegar waiting for me. I could have gotten a little OT, but I needed to go home and eat! It had been over five hours and I was hungry. Granted, I was not suffering the hunger symptoms I have when on carb's (mild would be irritated and shaky ... severe would be diaphoretic and ready to pass out ... early stage diabetes is NOT fun), but I had a headache coming on and was a bit fuzzy headed all day ... so these are carb DTs, I guess ... and I was not gonna let them win.

I got home, opened up the brussel sprouts thawing in the fridge and ... they were still frozen. argh Took out the pork chop and like a cave woman just started eating it. Cold. In my hand. I used to cut off all visible fat. Not tonight. Ate it. It was good, too. The reduced broth had congealed on it and, it was good! Okay. I know ... I sound wacked. Just remember that if you're really hungry, what ever you're eating is the best meal you've ever had. I was hungry! It was delicious. But, one lonely little pork chop was not enough ... foraging through the scrawny offerings of my fridge, I decided to eat the rest of the plain Greek yogurt. Without blueberries or anything else ... and it was GOOD! Damn! Who ever thought I'd like plain yogurt ... plain? It was half the container (eight ounces) and only 7 carb's. It did not do the day's primal efforts in.

So ... the point of this bonus post is this: when you're jonesing for some carb's ... just ride it out. Yeah, it might be rough ... like when you didn't see that wave coming ... close your eyes, keep your mouth closed and hold your breath ... because you will dive down under and surface when it passes. It'll all be over and you'll feel so good!

[kiwineil]

nice post love yr willpower .. keep it up

[Debbie]

Thank you, Neil. I'm fine now but I don't think I'll be having 8 ounces of dairy product at the end of the day again: I did not sleep well. It might be coincidental but I won't find that out tonight. Sometime down the line, I will probably repeat this and see what happens. =p

B - coconut milk, frozen banana and blueberries whrrrred in the blender
L - wild salmon browned olive oil on a bed of mesclun greens, organic cherry tomatoes, shallot, organic carrot, celery ... dressed with fresh lemon and olive oil
S - raw walnuts
D - brussel sprouts with balsamic vinegar and ... we'll see ... it's hard to plan when I'm not hungry

[Just4ME]

I find it easy to plan when I'm not hungry. The planning part is easy. It's getting my taste buds to stick to the plan! Almost never happens! Carb cravings were trying to rule me last week. I upped my fat intake this week and I'm good!

[Debbie]

Thank you, Just4ME ... I learned that yesterday: up the fat intake. My lunch was delicious but not satisfying. As I placed the salmon on the salad to cover and head out for work, I opted NOT to bring more olive oil. I figured the fish was fatty enough AND had been cooked in olive oil. Well, it would have tasted SO much better (and been more satisfying) if I had. Thank goodness I brought the walnuts for a snack. So, I also learned that (1) while yogurt is not the best snack for me, nuts are fabulous. They held me so well that when I got home, all I added to the brussel sprouts was two strips of bacon and called it a night.

Tonight, my son is taking me to dinner after work. It'll be late (8ish) and I'll look like I'll feel: ragged. So I'll ask to go to a diner and choose a fairly safe option: a vegetable omelet, hold the toast and pan fries.

That means, for breakfast, I'll do the coconut milk smoothie again, which was amazingly satisfying. I prefer to alternate meal choices, to avoid boredom, but just wading in so that's just how it is, for now.

Lunch. Hmmm ... I'll make a salad and pick up a can of tuna in olive oil on the way to work.

I need to make a shopping list tonight and go hunting and gathering, ASAP.

I'll resume exercise this weekend. Dealing with this exhaustion issue and have some healing injuries to accommodate, but those are limfac's in planning, not excuses for not doing.

[Debbie]

Time table changed. My son took me to breakfast, where I had a Greek omelet with two eggs, spinach, tomato and feta. Xnay on the toast and home fries. My salad was more satisfying than yesterday's (it had more olive oil) but boring. Almonds were a good snack but my tummy is upset after too many.

Today I learned that if I found myself out to an unplanned breakfast, do NOT have more coffee on top of what I had at home. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

I learned to keep nuts to 1/4 - 1/2 a cup, a day. More than that upset my stomach.

I learned to have salad for lunch no more than three times a week because the boredom could sabotage my efforts.

I learned that coconut milk needs 1 and 1/2 frozen bananas, not 1 room temperature one, along with 1/2 cup of frozen blueberries. It just does not taste as good, otherwise. Nor is the consistency as pleasing.

[Debbie]

B - spicy chicken sausage and copious amounts of fresh spinach
L - baby greens, 1/4 cup raw sunflower seeds, hard-boiled egg, celery ...
S - 1/4 cup raw walnuts
D -

I really have no idea what to eat for dinner ... I guess I'll pick up something on the way home from work. Trader Joe's will still be open ... hmmm ...

Tomorrow, I am going to The Big E. I will walk ... alot. I will probably be more like 60/40 than 80/20 but that's good for me ... a person that has a history of being 'all or nothing'. I am changing my way of thinking, my way of doing ... not earning daily gold stars for my forehead.

Sunday, I am walking around the neighborhood with a friend as she scopes garage sales. I like looking, but I rarely buy. I don't like *lotsa stuff*. I did get a brand new orange JanSport backpack for only five bucks at one of those, though.

[Debbie]

I am SO PSYCHED!!!

I went to The Big E today, which is a huge fair in the northeast. I got up ... had my coffee with half 'n' half (bought cream for next week ... and will experiment with coconut milk) but did not eat breakfast. My stomach needs a few hours to wake up. By the time we got through the monster traffic, parked and walked in, it was 11:45. I had been up since 6:30. I was hungry, but not uncomfortable.

Numerous friends at work told me to try a lobster roll, so I did. The lobster was delicious, perfect. The roll was a lousy white hot dog roll. If the lobster meat was not so messy (or if it came on a plate), I could have tossed the roll. Whatever.

A few hours later, I had a soft-shelled taco with taco meat, fresh tomato and lettuce and sour cream. I had about four ounces of my sil's *real* lemonade ... and 34 ounces of water. Oh! And an iced coffee with half 'n' half. That's my food for the day. I will eat some nuts now because I am hungry and I have been having insomnia for the last few nights, so I don't want a rumbly tummy to interrupt my drifting off to la la land.

So, why am I so excited you ask? Because, having minimized my processed foods this last week has obviously had an enormously positive impact on my blood sugar. I was not crazy hungry today, despite long stretches without food. This was my least primal day in about a week, but I feel fine. I walked for hours and hours, at a leisurely pace. The weather was warm with the occasional breeze. This is faboush!

It also gives me confidence about a health problem I am dealing with. We don't know what the problem is. My endocrinologist ran the usual panel ... and a few weeks ago, when I got my fasting blood draw, my various thyroid functions were in the normal range and my blood sugar was high-normal ... but this utter fatigue I have been dealing with is really problematic. Also, the neuromuscular and skeletal pain is intrusive. I was researching this last night and reading about what foods people are eliminating, experimentally, and I realized ....

STOP! I've been there before. I am not criticizing anyone else for doing that but I've been there ... and with all the conflicting data my brain becomes a tilt-a-whirl. The reason this Primal Blueprint (still waiting for my book! how long does it take to arrive?) appealed to me was because it made eating and exercise natural, normal parts of life again. I don't want to over-analyze it anymore. If I eat something and I don't feel good shortly thereafter, than I need to eliminate that from my diet for awhile ... and try it again later. I'm thinking that if the results from this latest test are non-conclusive, that perhaps next weekend, I'll keep my calendar empty and clean out my body with lemon water and no food. I'll keep my primal diet reeeal simple and see if I can isolate any symptoms or reactions.

So, I learned that weaning myself from too much carb's allows food to be what was originally intended, and not an obsession. No longer obesessed means that I am more trusting of my body's inner wisdom and less willing to put my health into the hands of the experts. My body is struggling right now and it's hard to understand what it's telling me ... but if I am patient, and make primal choices, I believe the answer will become clear. Since I no longer spend ridiculous amounts of time planning and thinking about my food, I am free to ponder other things. This decision to go primal has spawned a wonderful domino effect and I just love where it's taking me.