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Thread: SPENT---Using PB to heal from Major Stress Syndrome--PB Challenge Journal page 3

  1. #21
    cillakat's Avatar
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    Primal Fuel
    Quote Originally Posted by PrimalWannabeGirl View Post
    I'm having a lot of difficulty managing night-time anxiety.
    Sending hugs. I'm struggling in a huge way right now, too. You're not alone. This will improve and eventually pass. Of course that's as much for me as it is you. lol. But it will pass. We will come out on the other side of this.

    You're inspiring me. Thank you.

    Love,
    Katherine



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  2. #22
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    Inspiring you? Au contraire....you are inspiring me. Left a note on your thread this morning.

    Last night's dinner was SO GOOD! Lamb liver, fried with bacon and onions, YUM.

    Busy day today: have to call lawyer re: my older son's disability trust and social security issues; have to take him to an initial VESID orientation for supportive employment; have my appointment with my therapist/teacher; and so on...............

    I feel strong. At least emotionally, if not physically. I have all these incredible stresses to deal with, and I am dealing. I am certain that eating clean is helping me. I am certain that my meditation practice sustains me. I feel trust in the Ground of Being that at some still, central point....all is well.

    And heck, I'm having THE MOST DELICIOUS BACON for breakfast!

    PWG

  3. #23
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    Oh! I am so happy to report something positive!

    Greg (my son with autism, etc.) yesterday finally agreed with me that his sitting for hours on end at his computer is unhealthy for him. Because of his agorphobia, as well as his recent bout of bipolar depression, he can be difficult to pull away out of his room. Well, yesterday, he felt pretty awful, and I pulled him out of his room and installed him on our front porch, which has a comfortable couch for resting, as well lots of sunlight and fresh air through the screened windows. He felt better almost immediately! We talked a great deal, and he agreed to try nature walks with me. I am a believer in the healing power of fresh air, sunlight, and being surrounded by nature.

    So today we went for a half-mile stroll around a pond at a nearby nature preserve. He liked it, and I loved it, and now we're going to build up our stamina and get into hiking! He is especially interested in doing a rock scramble----something I used to do a lot of and loved. I may have to recruit a real hiking friend to take us as I don't trust myself to have the strength for a rock scramble, but oh, man! It's so motivating to think about getting more endurance and capacity in this way-----I am helping my son and he is helping me! How good does it get?????

    FOOD/SUPPLEMENTS: Took 5000IU vitamin D and a multivitamin
    B: 2 eggs scrambled in bacon fat with shallots, 2 slices bacon, sprouts and tomato salsa
    L: Spicy Thai Carrot Soup made with homemade chicken broth, carrots, ginger, shallots, red curry paste and coconut milk
    D: going out for dinner so I don't know

    LOW LEVEL ACTIVITY: 1/2 mile walk in the woods, yeeha! First deliberate 'exercise' I've been able to do in weeks!

    MINDFULNESS PRACTICE: mindful walking (see above!)

    WEEKLY CONSULTATION WITH LIFE COACH: Yes, it's today! She leads mindfulness wilderness activitites so I may be able to arrange a real outing for me and my son.

    ONE FUN SOCIAL THING PER WEEK (PLAY): not yet..........there is clearly not enough play in my life...

    ONE HOME MAINTENANCE ACTIVITY PER DAY: Washed bedding.......does that count?


    Primally Yours,
    PWG

  4. #24
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    1. Live richly and deeply, authentically and honestly, with love, kindness, compassion and skill, in the narrow confines of this life.


    This is the most concise, beautiful, realistic, uplifting sentence. I'm going to borrow it.

    Congrats on the getting the boy outside! That's really great!

    And what is this with the nighttime worries. All this week I've gone to sleep fine, then woken up between 3:30 and 4:30 and then awake/not awake/worrying dreams/bad dreams/can't relax... sigh. I'm seriously considering trying the magnesium oil, too... just need to figure out how to get it!
    "Boy I got vision and the rest of the world is wearing bifocals" - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

  5. #25
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    Minxxa, thanks for stopping by. If you can find the topical magnesium, I'd be very interested in knowing how it works for you. You have my deepest sympathies concerning your insomnia. I have come to understand why sleep deprivation is used as torture. It truly sucks.

    What seems to be working for me----at least in terms of bearing the sleep deprivation----is not to worry about it too much. I know I have become so vigilant that it's difficult for me to sleep deeply. Plus I am on call at night and get phone calls. I just can't turn over and go back to sleep like I used to. My mind takes over. Nothing much helps. I read and doze, read and doze.

    It also helps that I don't expect much out of myself given how I feel. I am NOT going to sprint or lift heavy things right now, I'm too spent.
    I'm not too worried about that, either. What can I do? I will take on more when I can take on more----now's a time for softness, quiet, rest.
    That's primal, too. Knowing you need to rest. Then resting.

    Minxaa, do you have a job that takes you away from home? I don't know how I would manage that. The fact that I can take a break during the day and lie on the couch is a big help. Are you able to rest during the day?

    PWG

  6. #26
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    rki
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    PWG,

    You have my sympathy for a very stressful situation, but I'm so impressed by how you're handling it. I think you've got the right approach. You're taking care of your health. You've signed on with a reasonable plan that will help you feel good without stressing you out about perfection (I adore the 20/80 rule), and the ballet class! It is so AWESOME that you are doing something that you personally will enjoy.

    I would just shower you with all the encouragement and best wishes I could, and I do . . . but I think you're learning how to take care of yourself quite well.

  7. #27
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    PWG.. that's so good that you recognize it's time to be nice to yourself and gentle... it's hard for most peeps to do that. Well, it's hard anyway, but at least you're doing it!

    No, I don't have the opportunity to rest during the day. I work full time, and though it's not stressful and I have time to do reading and such, no time to just lay down. Plus I have school four nights a week. Two for my master's program, and two for my dance class-- which is really important to me! I do usually get a chance to stop for an hour and a half between work and dance class... but this week had a work thing I had to do so not so much.

    Mostly I have the same issue... wake up for some reason (potty or hubby's snoring, or the dog's!) and then my brain takes over... This is more recent, but previous to that I had definitely non-restful sleep, so I think I may not be getting into the right restorative sleep cycle, or not as much. Sleep isn't something I've researched enough to know, but it is something I am looking into right now. Most likely there is some connection between that and my crappy adrenals ... we will see!
    "Boy I got vision and the rest of the world is wearing bifocals" - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

  8. #28
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    @Minxx: oh, yeah. Adrenal fatigue. Talk about "it sucks." I think that's what one would name what I have, for sure. Your plate is so full!!!!!! How could you NOT be stressed? A family with kids, full time job, PLUS graduate school????? Dance class, too, no matter how enjoyable, gets squeezed into a tight schedule? *shudder*

    It is a tender and poignant thing about our modern world: we don't live in a tribe with available grandmothers/aunties/mothering peers to help, as in "it takes a village." So we shoulder EVERYTHING without sufficient social support. Is it any wonder that we can't sleep, that we are burnt out, SPENT?

    Not a good night's sleep. (I expected maybe something different? *grin*) Have sciatic pain on right side, last night, lying in bed, felt a twinge of pain in sciatic region of left buttock, suggesting this pain is originating in my spine, not from a spasming piriformis muscle. This is of concern, given my history of spinal stenosis and disc issues.

    I really need to limit my time sitting.

    Well, this morning it's off to the Pirates Lakeside Grill (my husband's new business venture) to make the chili for the weekend. Then I will entice Greg out for another nature walk. He's also going to come to the market with me so I don't hear his complaints that there's nothing in the house to eat! It's clear I have to teach him to cook. Unfortunately, he is a starch addict and VIOLENTLY resists the notion of dietary modification. Since he has binge eating disorder I can't focus too much on what he eats. I am working with him in the wisest way I can, and right now, that means having food he likes to eat in the house. (He usually binges by buying a bag of cookies and sneaking it into his room and eating the whole bag and then hiding the wrapper, which I always eventually find.)

    It isn't easy being human.

    PWG

  9. #29
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    Ok, in the interests of total honesty, yesterday was a washout. But I'm climbing right back on board the PB train this morning.

    It's really difficult to stay the course when the stress you face has no expiration date on it. My sons will always be ill. My ex's partner will always be a sick twist intent on inflicting damage on me (and my kids). My ex will always be a weak man with a corruptible spirit. I had two very sad incidents related to my kids and SWSNBN (She Who Shall Not Be Named----the ex's psycho girlfriend).

    So...........yesterday I ate only the following things: 1 sprouted wheat English muffin with butter, 1 sprouted wheat bagel with butter, and a bowl of pasta with bacon bits and good grated cheese. A veritable carbfest. With wheat, no less.

    And this morning? I can hardly walk. My sciatica is cripplingly painful.

    What is there to do?

    1. Ice to the back helps.
    2. I will try to get an acupuncture appointment or a massage today.
    3. Back to the PB with a vengeance----I don't think it's an accidental association between my carbfest and my pain.
    4. Use ibuprofen judiciously until the pain subsides.
    5. Stay mobile. Short walks X 3 around the block.
    6. Meditation to stay calm through this.
    7. Go to the Y today and soak in the hot tub, take a steam bath, sweat out some toxins.

    There is only me, there is only today. So this day, I must care for myself with as much dedication as I care for my kids and my husband.

    Love is bigger and more powerful than the hooks of my current experience. I'll be back later today to account for myself.

    PWG
    Last edited by PrimalWannabeGirl; 09-18-2010 at 05:00 AM.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrimalWannabeGirl View Post
    There is only me, there is only today. So this day, I must care for myself with as much dedication as I care for my kids and my husband.

    Love is bigger and more powerful than the hooks of my current experience. I'll be back later today to account for myself.

    PWG
    Hey PWG, I too am in pain whenever I eat gluten - or when I miss sleep. Hopefully you'll see quick results from your return to primal.

    *hugs*

    Katherine



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