SPENT---Using PB to heal from Major Stress Syndrome--PB Challenge Journal page 2

[jrherring]

I am going to start *blush* ballet class for women over 50. I've never had dance lessons as a little girl, and I SO looking forward to this class. It starts next week. I even bought a plus-size leotard and dance skirt! I want the whole experience, dance clothes and all...

don't blush! dive right in!

i bet you'll have a blast!

[PrimalWannabeGirl]

Thanks for the encouragement, jr! I'd like to think that at age 55 after everything I've been through, I'd be beyond self-consciousness. You can only pull off showing up for your first ballet in full regalia if you are beyond embarrassment and can smile at yourself.

PWG

[Minxxa]

Ballet class sounds awesome! Great way to strengthen muscles, and if you love it, even better! I take dance classes for my exercise too, though I bounce around on which type. I did jazz for a year, and now am doing Hip Hop. So i can relate to the "have to be beyond embarrassment", to toddle into a hip hop class at a community college at 42. Heh. I don't care, I like it.

I was thinking back a couple of years and I can really remember the sleep issues I was having. I'd wake up at 1:30 or 2 every morning and couldn't go back to sleep for a couple of hours. Really stunk. And quality sleep was not to be had anytime. I have to say I sleep MUCH better now than I used to. I still have days with odd sleep (like last night, woke up at 3:30 and couldn't go back to sleep for an hour, my mind was whirling!), but they aren't the majority anymore.

And yes, be careful not to run out with that tender energy right away! i remember doing that, too... usually involved cleaning something!

[piano-doctor-lady]

Primal Wannabe, that is quite a story!

You bring a lot of good things to the table in your struggle with TROUBLE. I think it is harder for someone who is used to high achievement to adjust to limitations, but being able to think one's way through problems certainly helps.

I second Cillakat's recommendations about Vitamin D. I take two tiny perls, 5k each, every day. I don't want to flood my system with lots and lots of fish oil, because it oxidizes so easily. both in the body and in the fridge. Also, one wonders about the quality of the source fish, given the state the oceans are in these days. I used to be a big fan of cod liver oil, till I read how they make it these days, and why it is so odorless. And I learned about the trouble with getting enough Vitamin D without getting too much Vitamin A. So I now use the D supplement instead of the fish oil by spoon.

In my struggle with Miller Fisher Syndrome this summer, my sleep was simply terrible. The only time I got several hours of uninterrupted sleep was when I was zonked out on oxycodone, which left me totally exhausted the rest of the time, and which was a nightmare to get back off of. I gradually healed and the pain at night was reduced to an annoyance, but I still couldn't sleep more than a couple hours without waking up and being unable to get back to sleep. I had never been this way before.

What fixed my nights was the discovery of "magnesium oil", rubbed on the skin. (I can't take magnesium by mouth.) After a day or two of rubbing it in, waiting, then washing it off, I slept the sleep of the just. You might try getting some magnesium chloride flakes (Swanson is cheaper, though I bought from both Swanson and "Ancient Minerals" in Holland). You could put a big batch into a warm bath and soak in it a few times a week -- see if your sleep improves. Or you could buy magnesium chloride as food-grade nigari, which is sold on the web. Also good for foot soaks. It's supposed to help anxiety and nervousness a lot, and is good for bone, because you need magnesium (and protein) to absorb calcium properly.

What a nice idea, taking the ballet class. Have you tried minimal footwear yet? A consolation for being stuck home with double vision and neuropathy in my hands was that I didn't have to wear ordinary shoes for several months. It would be a nice thing for your feet to allow them complete freedom of motion when you're home, at least. Two days ago I picked up my pair of Soft Star "Ramblers", which have vibram soles, a fleece liner, and complete freedom for my toes. When I go out I wear them. Not allowing your feet to be immobilized by ordinary shoes allows all the little muscles and joints to strengthen and get limber -- should be helpful for the dance class, IMO. Or maybe I'm preaching to the choir?

Good luck ...

[PrimalWannabeGirl]

PDL, thank you for thoughtful reply. If my sleep continues to be disturbed, rest assured I will try the topical magnesium! I've never even heard of it before. I'm sorry to hear you have had your medical challenges and stresses, too. It sounds like you are taking good care of yourself through it which is all we can do: provide the right conditions under which we can properly heal.

PWG

[PrimalWannabeGirl]

FOOD/SUPPLEMENTS: Took supplements.
B: 2 eggs with meat chili and salsa;
L: 1 small avocado, tuna mixed with pesto, 1/4 c. red cabbage sauerkraut
D: cooked pumpkin stuffed with meat chili, wilted spinach with onion, garlic, raisins and pine nuts; 3 small figs with a small piece of cheddar cheese.


LOW LEVEL ACTIVITY: no especial effort to do this

MINDFULNESS PRACTICE: attended a group meditation

WEEKLY CONSULTATION WITH LIFE COACH/MEDITATION TEACHER: Thursday.

ONE FUN SOCIAL THING PER WEEK (PLAY): Had my niece over for dinner, enjoyed conversation

ONE HOME MAINTENANCE ACTIVITY PER DAY: Went shopping at the food coop and stocked up the fridge with Primal goodies!

[PrimalWannabeGirl]

Ok, so last night's sleep wasn't as good as the night before (no wine?) but not as bad as it has been. I know it will take time to heal. My body is still protesting muchly: I think I have plantar fasciitis, I have arthritic aching of the hips, knees, and ankles, I feel tired and worn out. A low-energy morning.
I'm having a lot of difficulty managing night-time anxiety. I have gotten so vigilant that the least little thing wakes me worrying that something's wrong. Between my (diabetic) husband and my son, there are at least 2, sometimes 3 bathroom trips in the night for both of them. This invariably wakes me and once I'm awake, there's a tendency for my mind to take over. So..............that's how it is for me just now. It will improve.

On the basis of how I feel right now, I don't feel up to "exercise." I do feel I need some time-out just for me. I'm thinking maybe going apple-picking and making applesauce, or making up a beautiful picnic lunch and going for a solitary walk in the park and then picnic. Or maybe going to a movie......

I'll just have to see how the energy goes this morning.

PWG

[PrimalWannabeGirl]

FOOD/SUPPLEMENTS: Took supplements.
B: couple of eggs, a bit of pork sausage, 1/4 pumpkin with meat chili
L: 1 large slice of tomato topped with a little tuna mixed with pesto, sprouts
D: Chicken chunks with chili sauce over wilted spinach, a little whole milk yogurt

LOW LEVEL ACTIVITY: no especial effort to do this

MINDFULNESS PRACTICE: ate a mindful meal (lunch)

WEEKLY CONSULTATION WITH LIFE COACH/MEDITATION TEACHER: Thursday.

ONE FUN SOCIAL THING PER WEEK (PLAY): Had my niece over for dinner, enjoyed conversation

ONE HOME MAINTENANCE ACTIVITY PER DAY: not today

[PrimalWannabeGirl]

Poor sleep last night. Just is. Increasing conflict with ex at a time when our children's health would benefit by cooperation. I am practicing not getting caught on the hook of conflict with emotional responses. Not easy! Thank God for meditation practice. It clears the way for skillful response, much like clearing weeds out of the garden.

I have a vision for myself, of what my 'good life' might look like in the here and now. When I was physically intact, and going hell bent for leather as a midlife athlete, I had a very long bucket list, with items like "Climb a significant mountain, hike the Appalachian Trail, cycle across America, go on a month-long meditation retreat, live in a Tuscany villa for a year."

After my surgery, I had to face not only my own physical limitations (no grand physical adventures for me!) as well as my son's increasing disability and dependence on me. So my bucket list has only one item on it, and that's my vision for my life at this point:

1. Live richly and deeply, authentically and honestly, with love, kindness, compassion and skill, in the narrow confines of this life.

I figure if religious contemplatives of all stripes can find transcendence by living in a cave alone and meditating, surely my circumstances provide as much opportunity for spiritual growth as a cave! I suppose anything that forces us to sit and bear what we think is unbearable has something to teach us.

A big part of my new mantra----"live skillfully, with kindness and compassion"----includes caring for my battered body, mind and spirit; the PB is my map, especially with regard to deep nourishment. Everything I choose now must be a skillful response to the stress I am under, and I have seen my resilience improve within a day or two of Primal eating.

With those thoughts in mind, I start my day.
PWG

[PrimalWannabeGirl]

FOOD/SUPPLEMENTS: Supplements, check, yes. Food:
B: 2 eggs with cheddar cheese, salsa, sprouts
L: Handful of pistachio nuts
D: lamb liver with grilled onions and bacon; mashed Japanese garnet yam with butter. Small dish of yogurt with a few walnuts.

LOW LEVEL ACTIVITY: nope, exhausted today from a bad night last night

MINDFULNESS PRACTICE: Yup, 45 min. meditation

WEEKLY CONSULTATION WITH LIFE COACH: Tomorrow.

ONE FUN SOCIAL THING PER WEEK (PLAY): Watched America's Funniest Home Videos with son and laughed fool head off.

ONE HOME MAINTENANCE ACTIVITY PER DAY: Vacuumed!


For someone who feels pretty crummy, I am pretty much at peace. Progress!
PWG